My wonderful partner is caring for his terminal elderly uncle, alongside his uncle's wife and son. Other relatives are also involved in caring for uncle's needs as he wants to be at home.
It was over six months ago that they got the diagnosis and almost straight away around the clock care started for uncle.
We go days without seeing each other, or even speaking, because my partner stays there totally involved in it all.
I am struggling to understand his dedication to someone he wasn't very close to. I was supportive (I still am but I'm so shut out of his life I'm starting to fall apart) but it's been so long, and even when he's gone my partner thinks he'll stay there with aunty to keep her company.
His cousin lives in the cottage next door so is always there and does most of the personal care and medications.
How do I support my partner while I'm feeling so neglected? How do I put my feelings aside so I can be the for him? Is it normal to feel so hurt that he's so totally engrossed with his family?
And yes, I do feel totally selfish asking these questions. I'm trying to find ways to cope with the loneliness of not being around my partner for so long. We see each other every three or four days for lunch, or a quick hug in passing, or a quick phone call. And I miss him so much and feel so selfish that I need him when I'm not the person who's dying.