I am continually approached about putting my husband in an adult day care to get him out of the house, and give me more free time. My case manager, social workers, even some medical professionals bring it up. About a year ago I took my husband to one for a tour. Everyone we saw seemed somewhat medicated and unaware. The next morning my husband sat up in bed, and with more clarity than normal stated that he did not ever want to go back there. So we didn't. This last week we went to a different facility, highly recommended by his case manager. While there, my husband, being excited about the new surroundings, was quite chatty. The program manager said to me that although he knew I didn't medicate my husband, he would talk to someone to see if there was something he could give him so he wouldn't talk so much. Needless to say, we will not be going back.
I have repeatedly read that people with dementia can live anywhere from 2-20 years, and that the 2 year range is mainly for people put in nursing homes. I am concerned that those with dementia are being tolerated by medicating them, so that those caring for them in facilities don't have to interact with them as much, thus making their job much easier. I had hoped to find activities outside the home for my husband to enjoy with others in the same general condition. He is 54. And although I know most of the people in these places will be older, he needs more social interaction. If all he is going to do is sit around at the day care center, he can do that at home. I am very disappointed in what I am finding. Although medication has it's place, quality of Life doesn't seem to matter anymore. I want my husband to enjoy his life. I have found that since adding basketball 3 times a week at our church, he has become much more active and aware, as well as being happier. So why should we take that away from him by medicating and subduing him?