Adjusting to a new level of dementia.

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The last week has brought change. Mom's mental functioning is not so good. She is still walking and taking care of her activities of daily living, but something has drifted in her mind. She sits and doesn't seem to realize how much time has passed. It is like her mind has turned into a butterfly -- hard to explain. She knows the day and time, but doesn't seem to place herself in it. Sometimes she just stares at nothing.

I should be compassionate with the changes, but I'm finding that I'm just irritable adjusting to the new normal. Maybe it's because I realize that the little bit of freedom I have now is about to vanish and that I'm going to have to make some big decisions soon. Wouldn't it be nice to have a family that cared about now? I hate making all the decisions alone. But I guess someone has to be the grownup in the family. (I think that is what I'll say to them.)

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I think we should change the name of AC to "We are not the Waltons."
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* sigh * ,
everybody has one thing in common -- if the sibs are in the pic they are only irritants . its just as well , they dont have the intellect for dementia care . it would still pay to find a way they can contribute and feel involved tho . if they feel left out all theyre going to do is hurl crap grenades at you ..
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Each change brings new challenges - maybe subtle ones, but new ones nonetheless. I think we are already close to overload - so new challenges push us into overload. They upset the equilibrium. You get comfortable with a certain routine - including expectations - and then that changes.

Just got a new report from the geri psch hospital. Mother is committed now till Nov. Her delusions are expanding slowly. Her disease is different from Alz in that it affects her mentally/emotionally, but not physically, so far. I agree the slow decline is hard to watch. There is a grieving with every step down but also as glad says - a wish for it to hurry up.
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Same here, a new level and am hoping that Mom still has the UTI. Getting her rechecked on Wednesday. When I picked mom up at day care she did not want to leave because "I am missing something". I told her everything she needs is at home. Later figured out that what she was missing was her two little girls, bratty sibs. This went on all night so I have bolted the doors so she cannot wander off in the night. Nothing in her brain is working any longer.

Jessie my mom has not been able to take care of ADL's for probably four years. Though she is able to get herself to the bathroom and is continent except for occasional accidents, which she is a danger to herself trying to clean up. Haven't let her try to do that for about 1.5 years now.

It is very hard to watch these long slow declines. Sometimes I just wish it would hurry up already!
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Sorry Jessie for missing this post. Moms turned another chapter as well.

She qualified for 2 hours a week. Just not worth my time.

Maybe if YOU allowed them in ....for YOU. Yeah, preaching to the masses
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BTW, happy birthday, Turnofthepage! 50 was a hard one for me. Now it seems very young.
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Hospice is always like a little hope on the horizon. They may be able to arrange some respite care for you. Something I've recently learned about is that many states have a program to help caregivers some. If you google "aging in place" and your state name, you might find a program that provides some caregiver services, such as a little respite time. Alabama has a program, Alabama Cares. It only allows 6 hours respite a week for home caregivers, but 6 hours can be a blessing. I haven't used them yet, because my mother won't allow people in, but they are on my future to-do list.
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Today I turned 50. What did I do today? I changed diapers, fed, bathed, lifted, been hit kicked,dug, cleaned poopy butt and all with a smile (fake smile but a smile all the same). That's ok I've been doing this since 06. Just harder now cause mil now is in late stage Alzhiemer and had major stroke. I just wish the mean tempered personality would go away. Then there is her by-polar daughter who just causes trouble with us but will not help ever. All she wants is to get her hands on ma's money. And kicker of it is. She doesn't need it. She has everything money can buy. My husband and I live day by day no luxuries but were happy. And moms money is hers till the day she dies. But greedy sis in law wants it now. She hired attorney and pi for what? We don't even know what she is fighting us for. Mom is here and safe. And we take good care of her. Hospice is starting on Wednesday. Thank god. Maybe I won't have to be a prisoner here. I can't even run to store 2 blocks in fear that sis will come and take mom away. I just wish she would let us do our job which is to take care of her mom. And let moms last little time e in peace. If this mean women had any idea in her mind how I'm fighting for her she maybe would smile at me lovingly instead of the hateful smile she gives me.
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I called my mother's doctor this morning. She was out of town until next week, then she didn't have an available appointment time during the month of June. What!!! What kind of doctor is that? Her doctor spends so much time keeping up with her education that she doesn't have time for patients, and apparently they give her so many patients, she doesn't have time for anybody. That just seems so wrong to me. I was able to get her appointment to see another doctor next Tuesday and figured if things got worse between now and then we would just go to either Urgent Care or the ER. Quality care in the USA? Give me a break.

This week is a busy one for me, so I'm thinking of what I need to do to find her another doctor. I know I won't be able to start the main search until Saturday. I do need to get her to a more dependable doctor. This geriatric clinic (Spain-McDonald) at UAB in Birmingham is the pits.
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Jessiebelle what I have found that my Mom will have days when she does the same, staring into space or she'll fixate on the date and time all day and still not comprehend it..

I'll get excited when she wakes with an alert mind and good attitude figuring it's going to be a good day.. But I can't help worrying when the ball will drop..

I guess I should be happy that she still has so called normal days.. The question is when will these days end.
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