accused of elder abuse

hello heaven
you know you can get a lawyer and tie all this up and noone can get nothing except for the grma to be taken care of its called a overseerer i know..because my brother did it to me but it didnt work cause he thought he was going to get the freedom of spending my dads money anyway he want but it didnt WORK its funny too cause he thought he was gonna buy him a new truck but the bankc fooled him

My mom did the same thing to me. Then called all my relatives and told them I wasn't taking care of her. They came and got her and she wound up back in the nursing home and now saying about the same thing about them. When they came and got her I told them to have at it.

My elderly Dad and I were recently accused of abusing my elderly & ill Mom. I learned that from a family member who received a phone call from the accuser who is my Mom's sister. I was angry when my parents called to tell me that the informed family member was told that we were abusive. The bruises on my Mom's arms are a result of her medication thinning her skin. My parents also have a small dog that constantly jumps up on her lap. I want to confront this aunt via phone. But not sure if I could do so without getting upset at her. We made a recent visit to the west coast and brought my Mom around all the family....I think if my Dad and I were guilty then wouldn't we keep her away from the entire family? What should I do or say? I don't want to avoid this accusation, but to address it appropritely. By the way, I moved to midwest to care for my parents after my husband passed away in 2007. I gave up my life with my adult daughters, my home, my job and my Church family to help my parents.

How very hard for you, 2007calorie. After all your sacrifices and hard work, to get accusations instead of thanks! Argh!

Even if it is not valid, I think I would act on the assumption that the aunt truly cares for her sister and is worried about her. She is probably elderly herself and maybe not thinking too clearly. Take the high road and give her the benefit of the doubt about her motives. "Aunt Lucy, I heard that you were talking to Mabel about Mom's bruises. I'm so glad you are interested and looking out for her. Mom takes a blood thinner to help prevent a stroke. We take her in to check the level of medicine in her blood every three weeks, so we know it at about the right dose, but it does make her bruise very easily. You know how light little Yippee is, but even that little dog jumping on her leaves a black and blue mark! Every bump or tap makes a colorful bruise. It is very annoying to Mother, but I guess it is better than risking a stroke. Mother is still able to talk on the phone. I know she'd love to hear from you. Her most alert time in midmornings and that might be the best time of day to call if it is convenient to you."

You have been a loving, caring daughter. Perhaps you can extend that to being a loving, forgiving neice. You'd certainly be justified in treating her in anger, but I suspect you'll feel better if you try being the peacemaker, for your mother's sake.

I thank you for your positive advice. I went by to check on my parents today. They have tried to call my aunt....she isn't answering any of her three phones. So I think she may already know that the other person informed my Mom about the false allegations. I know my Dad didn't care if my Mom got ahold of her or not. He really doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, he says. However,he is the one that makes rude comments towards my Mom.I don't always understand his demeanor towards her but after 60 years of marriage they make it work.

My Mother told the nursing home that I abused her when we went to get her hair fixed. My Mother has frontal dementia and I took her to get her hair perked. My Mother grabbed hold of the steering wheel and tried to force me into the guard rail on the highway. I grabbed and clawed her arm. This was happened back in June. Today three months later I get a later I get a letter in the saying there appears to be abuse neglect or exploitation of my Mom. Can't get in contact with the worker. Now what. I guess I was just supposed to let her f o race me into the guardrail at 60 mph.

My brother is accusing me of elderly abuse, but everything he is saying is all lies, he just has so much hatred towards me that he'd rather see his mom live in a nursing home for the rest of her life then have me his own sister take care of her...Me and my brother do not get along and this is not the first time he falsely accused me to social services but the 2nd and this time he involved the police. I am 23 yrs old and i am the caregiver of my mom and i also take care of my elderly father which i do not get paid for. What can i do?? My mom is saying there all lies but my brother is the one pressing it saying its truth? can i file a restraining order agaisnt my brother so he can leave me alone for good? pls help....

To Everybody who has had this happen...Please, Do NOT PANIC when you get notice there has been a report made. APS people are not all perfect angels, but in general, if you treat them as if they were decent human beings doing their job -which they are requred to do not matter how far off base or ridiculous the report to them may have been - the facts of the case will speak to them and you will be OK. If you tell that exact story of how the scratches happened, and the injury correspnds to it, you will be OK. If you are being accused of all kind of things both to APS and your sibling who does not know better that people with dementia can confabulate and come up with stories that are not true, it will be OK. Get your prother to post on here and he will be educated about this very, very common phenomenon. He means well and wants to believe mom is being mistreated instead of deterioriating and imagining things - it probably makes no sense to believe that you are doing bad things, but again, if you don't know better about confabulation (they usually think waht they are saying is true, they come up with preposterous and often hurtful explanations for why things are not going well for them) it probably makes more sense to him than thinking that Mom could have suddenly turned into a liar. Document anything you have been doing financically, and if your loved one is uncooperative with care and medical issues, and you've tried and tried to get someone to cooperate or get the doctor to listen, document that too.

Sorry this does happening, is happening to you - glad you found your way to this thread - and hope it works out with an unfounded report and possibly some help with the family issues as it almsot always does.

They have all kinds of lawyer for child abbuse and wrongful accused, but what about lawyers for adults for wrongful accusations, yes thats so humiliating and they ruined my reputations for falsely accused me for neglect and abbused my sick husband, its so unfair the hospitals are continuosly doing this and I have no help to stop this nonsense, this is bs.