my elder mother has reported me to adult protective for abuse, this makes me sick as i have given up career and life to her care. legally what can i do. i am so upset, feel like my reputation and name is being ruined.
she has short term memory. she got a call to go to have a heart monitor put on her. did not know where we were suppose to go. also same day she fell, hurt her foot, dr said to go to er. she did not want to go. i spent all day long in hospital getting monitor put on, 3 hours in emergency room getting xrayed. she was so ugly to me all day, just wanted to go home and leave her alone. when we got home i told her if she could not remember who called and where her appointments were i would just answer the phone and took phone out of her room. she pushes her alert button, calls my daughters screaming and crying that i am hurting her, they rush down, take her home with them, and tell me to get out of her house. now another note, i had been gone for 10 days visiting my son, my daughter checked on her one day, calls me and says mom, grandma had a rat in the bed with her. i get home and there is rat signs all in the house. she had left food out, it was gross. i had spent hours and hours cleaning and still trying to care for her and guess just tired. but when aps comes out she tells them i am trying to overdose her, trying to get her in nursing home. i feel like i am brain dead. she lays in the bed all the time, but if she knows my daughters are coming, she jumps up gets dressed and acts like a different person. everytime she has to go to hospital she gets mad at me and blames me. i am just ready to run to another town and say let the grand daughters take care of her, cause i have had it. on top of that i have my 57 year old disabled brother that i care for. guess what hurst more than anything is that my own 2 daughters do not bother to help until this comes up. i begged them to set down and talk but they would never do it.
Dear carolsmom, I know all about caring for someone who can "act like a different person" in different settings. My mom's mad a lot and blames me, or whoever she can to not have to take responsibility for herself, her own choices, etc. And she accuses others of the abuse she herself is guilty of. This is pure insanity. The worse part is, that due to her ability to perform still for others, they believe her lies. Try convincing someone that mom is a Jeckle/Hyde when they think she's "lovely." How insidious when they pity them and comdemn you, when you alone know the truth about the situation, and do not abuse. My heart goes out to you, as I know what you are suffering at the hand of your mother. I tell my sister, "The Queen of Abuse accuses others." Mine's been doing it, and getting away with it for over 50 years, and she's not only convinced in her mind that her accusations are true, but has mastered the game of convincing allies that she is the victim. And people want to rescue the poor thing.
Carolsmom, I understand your fear and anguish. It is devastating to be accused, and feel humiliation and experience scorn from others, knowing you are innocent, when no one believes you. Get an bulldog attorney with big fangs, and protect yourself, it the advice I've heard. Talk to some trusted individuals, and get their advice and help. This is common, but terrifying when it happens to you. And cry out to God, who is a present help in time of need.
as you know the one that cares is the one that is blamed all the time i remember when my mother was alive she would always ask me to do things for her and when my sisters came around i didn't exist and it was hurtful cause she would ignore anything i say to her when she was around my others sisters no she didn't have alz or dementia but its just the thought of how she treated me only when she was with my other sisiters...so one day i decided on one sunday not to go down to my parents house when they were there, then about 6 o'clock one of my sisters would call and say "mom wants to know if you were coming down today"? i say "no cause all she gonna do is be rude to me when you guys are around...my sister was shock and gonna say "now sonya you know mom is sick" and i said so theres nothing wrong with her memory the point im trying to say is im the one that came down through the week not just the wkend i took her to the store when dad can't, i took her to the dr. i went to garages sales with her from time to time but im the one she was rude to when my other sister didn't even make time through the week..i know ur story is much different but what i saying is they seemed to take it out on the ones that care and will be there then the ones that don't
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think your mom is just trying to take out her confusion and sadness as anger. That does not justify what she is doing, especially after all the care and love you have given her.
Talk to your daughter about what really happened and hopefully they are understanding enough.
Boy have I been there. Mom is fine mentally but has always been unhappy and angry and hates my Dad. Dad is suffering from mild/moderate dementia. One day I got so fed up I called my sister (the one that at least does something to help) and said that I could not take the lies and abuse any longer and if it continued to happen I would call social services. Then it would be all over for both of them. Both put in nursing homes and OMG a stranger handling the money. Well that settled things down for awhile.
Mine is not under my roof, thank heavens. And mine waits to lie about me when not in the same room, like a real back-stabber. That's the ONLY way she can get away with it. The unfortunate thing is, they believe her lies. Do you think "they" want to listen to me? Fires me up!!!
I was advised to hire a bulldog attorney with big o' honking fangs. Did, but decided to wait...because I stand before God. Let him defend me. And if I need the attorney, two have said they'll be happy to defend me. Plus a Social Worker and State Trooper will stand beside me in court. Can't get much better than that!
So, 1913, what do her doctors say about her shenanigans? You need to take care of yourself, and cross t's and dot i's for safety. At least, that's what I've been told... Document everything!
Thank you for your prayers. God always comes through according to his timing, not ours; sometimes at the midnight hour! I'll wait as long as he wants us to...
Lawyers are an interesting bunch. New world, this.
Wow, perhaps you need to be a squeaky wheel with your mom's health care. Multiple phone calls can be helpful...to different agencies. Or find a new doctor?! I'll be praying for you, too. Can you contact your mom's physician again, saying "Mom needs..." Document what you just wrote, too. Take care, and let us know how things turn out for your mom.
I was accused by a home care nurse that worked for The Depart. of health and is one of two in our county that medicare uses when a pt. leaves the hospital or nursing home. This nurse thought he needed to be placed and I had been taking care of him for years. APS sent a caseworker instead of a social worker and when she came with another person I was outside watering my plants. I tried to give her somebackground she was not interested and got in my face and just wanted to see the pt.-I said I need to shut off the hose and unlock the door-sne screemed you locked him in the house-I said no I had been working in the back of the house and we had had robberies in our neigherhood. When she went in my husband put on quite an act and she started asking about our finanicial matters and said to me I was out of the picture and they were going to get himm 24/7 care she did not say who would pay for it. When she left I was shaking and called my daughter who works in social service in another county and said APS in our state had no power at all. Later that day this man who was acting like death warmed over was outside picking up flagstones on our walk and using a chainsaw to cut down branches above his head- I called this Person and told her that nothing came of it. A few months later a man who was running for re-election came along and I was talking to him about lack of available home care and he had been in social service in our county and others and was very upset about what had happened to me he made a report and followed up on it for me. If anything had come of it I had plenty of mental health workers who really knew-that day I stopped assisting him with hus chores if he wanted to do any outside work he had to get all his tools himself and when he fell just called 911. It is very upsetting to get accused esp. he was the one abusing me and had been for years first physically me and the kids until he was reported and then verbally up untill the day before he got critically ill for the last time and passed away. I found out later I did not have to answer any of her questions and should have called the police -we do still live in a free country-if this happens to anyone else make sure you read their business cards so you know who you are dealing with I did not realize until the next day she was not a social worker she led me to believe she was and in fact after that I called the agency and asked to have a real social worker come to see us and he did and said our house and my husband looked wonderful.
Sometimes all you can do is stick by the facts. What exactly were you supposed to have done, or not done? I believe you might be entitled to see a written copy of their reports.
You may need to wait a while if your family members are not currently speaking to you, let things cool down and try again. Hope you can have a restful holiday season and look forward to better times
It is amazing 1913 what they expect us to do-like money grows on trees -the social worker told me in order to take the husband home the last time he was in rehab he had to have 12 hrs. of aides daily-I yesed her to death and arranged for 7hrs a day which would have cost $4000.00 a month and I had only savings for 2 months and then he was going to have to be placed-instead he never made it home and that $8000.00 went to pay for his funeral which was a mistake paying it up front and this was with creamation and no veiwing hrs-if I had made him wait they would have helped with the paperwork for insurance payments and social security and would have saved myself 5 gruling months fighting to get things resolved and not gotten an ulcer in the meantime it is amazing what they the system will have you do like when I was doing the medicaide application on my own until I had a meltdown in her office and she helped me with that should have been her job in the first place-the laugh was on her because once he was in medicaide I was going to move him 10 mins. from my home instead of 1 hr. traveling time. I understand what you are going through when he was in rehab what ever equipment he needed the PT department got for him with no cost to us inc. a hospital bed a w/c walker special walker and a slide board and urinals all through medicare I found the sqeaky hinge got oiled you have to become a tough b---- you do not get points for being nice no matter what your Mom told you been there
Why not write out your concerns and discreetly hand it to your mom's physician prior to the appointment? Then you won't have to say anything, just sit back and smile.
that is what i have done before secretsisters , hahaha i just wrote what i need the dr to know and didnt want dad to know . wow works like a charm .... i remeber when dad was just started to get worst , he would make me cry and i thought wow he s doing a good job of it and decided that im not going to let him make me cry like that no more . when he gets in one of his moods i get up and walk away from him and go into another room . sometimes i shut my bdrm door and lock myself in there and take a lotta deep breaths . then i would come out like nothing happen , just cant argue with dementia person . just leave the room ....
1913 I can not believe that you are not able to speak up at the meetings it is not right your mother has all the say when you are the caregiver. What I had to finally do at our family meetings when he was in rehab is to say I can no longer take care of him at home I had been waiting for others see what his care was doing to me and my counsuler told me I was waiting for someone to rescue me and it was not going to happen-I had to rescue myself so I did say I can't do it any longer and then the social worker the nurses and PT staff all agreed-only the husband did not agree but it did not matter at that point everyone else involved agreed-and a few days later he called me to tell me he could not go home-so after thinking about he also agreed. If the case manager does not agree with you tell her to come home and take care of her because you are going out of town for a few days and since they know and she knows she can not take care of herself they need to make plans and get up and leave this meeting where they do not listen to you anyway. If she is placed she will have to use her money first then they can go into medicaide and let them do the paperwork-they will very fast so they get paid and they know how to get all the information. Ihardenbeck -when my hsband used to verbably abuse me I just left the room and if he needed anything he had to do it for himself-he was able to at that time and if he got made so be it-when he was really made he was able to do a lot for himself-a lawyer told my son that 60% of caregivers die before the ones they are taking care of.
I think that you might simplify your troubles if you just tell the care manager that you are unable to continue to be her primary caregiver and give an effective date in the future - a month or so perhaps. Speak up, be direct and say what you have said here. If you are weary and cannot do it any longer then the care manager's job is to work with your mother on finding a new solution.
I can tell you from my experience that it is better to be honest and upfront with that person. As long as you are in a codependant relationship, then the care manager will try to keep your mom and you together. Care managers don't like to be used as referees as a rule, so just go ahead and speak up for yourself.
Forgive me for asking - but as I don't recall whose home it is I can only suggest that you approach it this way and ask the following question - - What is the plan if you were to be 'hit by a bus tomorrow'? Having that alternate plan discussed with your mom should give you some peace of mind. You may find that your relationship improves, or it may break - - weigh what is important in the relationship and take away the stress and arguments.
I hope that being frank with my suggestions will actually help you make a postive change. There are people who can handle caregiving longer than others. Some can only handle it when the parent is not at their home. Some would be devastated to lose their parent. I hope you look inside yourself and decide what you really need to happen for you and your mom's best interests and then go for it.
My hubby is experincing the same thing as of today. His mother accused him of stealing from her room, of causing the bruises on her legs (she is on Cumadin) and then she smacked him across the face.
Needless to say, she is no longer living with us. I have had enough. I sent her to Hubbys sister house and told them I draw the line at lies and physical aggression. We have young children. She is not welcome back.
Good luck on Thursday! Is it true that in Canada the care manager can authorize someone to act as a relief carer for your mom? I've heard that your system is much kinder than ours here in the US.
Dear 1913, sounds like you are on the right path. Do you have a support group available to help you handle all the conflicting emotions involved with Caregiving, and having to place your mother? That may help you with some of the anger. Identifying it, relating to others (knowing you're not alone in this) and sharing that burden may help as well. As soon as your mom gets the help she needs, and you the assistance with her care, that could help relieve some of your stress. Praying for the best results for both of you!
1913-walking away does get easier talking did never work with the husband one day you will walk away and actually be happy with yourself and that is big. In the US all their pension is taken away plus all their SS and if they have a spouse they are allowed a car and can live in the house until they pass on and then it is sold and the money goes to the nursing home but the spouse in the house has to pay all the taxes and upkeep of the house and even their life insurance is condsidered an assest to the remaining spouse and all investments and retirement money is taken from the remainin g spouse except for a certain in NY it is about $2000,00 a month and our taxes are about $6000.00 a year your health care system in far superior than ours even though people here who do not understand are having a fit about our changes and are given so much wrong information but I do not want to sound political here just do not believe everything you here.
Not necessarily so, Kathy: some parents are just MEAN. My elderly Mom will give away her last belonging to someone she's only known a few weeks, but has sold me out and treated me like dirt, lied about me to healthcare workers, claimed elder abuse when SHE was the one gleefully abusing me because she knew she could get away with it. I refused to deal with it anymore, and now caretakers paid by her state social svcs/etc are caring for her.
Msdiva, you are right to stay away from your Mom...she's being abusive. Doesn't sound at ALL like she's "confused". Sometimes you have call things what they really are, and that is an abusive situation that will likely only end when she dies. Hang in there, and don't listen to anyone who tells you to put yourself in emotional harm's way (being the target of bullying/abuse/hatefulness) - there is nothing good that can come of allowing yourself to be crapped on by a mean person, even if it's a parent. Especially if it's a parent! *hugs*
Just because a person turns 65 does not mean they are nice all of a sudden. If an individual is wicked to start with, chances are they will be wicked and evil when they are old. AARP & other organizations have lobbied for laws to protect seniors, but there are few if any to protect the caregivers. It seems we are guilty until proven innocent. The "greatest generation" is not all that. They did their share of damage along with the good. I have seen more abuse of caregivers than elders on this site!!!!!! I see the pain and heartache that many parents have caused their adult children here and it angers me. The medical proffession keeps seniors alive much longer now often without quality of life. This often to the detriment of the caregiver. Something is wrong here!!!!!! A parent can bring charges against a caregiver but not be prosecuted for false charges. Are seniors exempt from the law??? How did we allow this to happen?????
castoff, I feel your pain and frustration. Being told many times by mom, when she didn't like what I said or did, that I was committing elder abuse and that she would "get" me, I honestly became frightened of her. Even though I wasn't guilty, if she reported me, I'd have to prove my innocence, like when her lawyer sent me a letter telling me she had accused me of stealing her important documents. Yes, the ones SHE helped me file in the cabinets at my house, for safekeeping, over the past 12 yrs. I had to send them back to her lawyer, at my expense and fill out papers saying I didn't steal her money either. I was paying for her groceries, her medicine, her caregiver, who put her up all this by the way, and she wanted to accuse ME of stealing her money. Somewhere in my lifetime I was taught not to steal but I'm guessing it was dad who taught me that and not mom. What happened to "innocent until proven guilty", well, ask the lawyers who are always finding ways to make a buck. Greed is partly to blame for this, IMHO. Elder abuse exists BUT so do the elderly abusers! And I believe they ARE exempt from the law. As long as the "sheeple" syndrome is alive and well, the medical profession will keep on pumping the elderly with pills, injections, hopsital/ER visits and the propaganda that this pill will fix it all. If it's advertised on tv, my mom trots her happy behind to the doc,asks for it AND she gets it. Her doc knows her liver is practically destroyed, yet he keeps giving her meds. Talk about elder abuse! We let it happen by believing all the hype, taking our eye off the ball and being lazy. Our "fight" is gone in this country. We just take it. We expect someone else to take care of us and then spit in their face when they do. The system is broken and I haven't a clue on how to repair it.
When my MIL was here at the house, before more seizure activity and bruising that I couldn't explain--I DOCUMENTED everything that I saw. It was a simple notebook that was entitled, "Journal--MM/DD-MM/DD/YYYY."
Whenever anyone else would come over to give us a break, then they wrote in it as well.
Yes, Yes. WE MUST DOCUMENT EVERYTHING in case our bitter hateful parents decide to throw us under a bus. Mom regrets having wasted her life & somehow it's my fault. I didn't ask to be born & I certainly did not ask for this abuse. I moved out 2 weeks after my 18th birthday and have never asked them for anything since. I started working at 12 yrs. old and made my own way. Now I'm chained to a vain, manipulative nutcase who wants to take me out with her. I love you too mom.
APS came to my mom's door last year when all this hell started with her....I finally figured out by deduction who called. It was my cousin's busy body nosey g/f who always wants to tell you what to do. I had a big fight with her in my mom's driveway. Her and my cousin showed up out of the blue saying my mom needs to go to the doctor/emergency room...when really it was my mom's tricks of crying wolf for attention. I was screaming at her that they should have called first and that I had everything in hand but she and her GIAGANTIC TRAP would have none of it. While my sheepish cousin just sat there in his truck. After that APS showed up...hmmm same city they live in...and the B*tch worked at city hall and probably rubbed elbows with the APS gal that was dispatched. See she did not think it through when they left the APS calling card from my cousins city and not my mom's. I had asked neighbors and all said no. I told my other cousin and my cousin's mom I know it was her...never heard a peep from either one. My cheesy cousin left at X-mas time some lame arse message and at my birthday...we have the same birthday. Never heard another word. Wretched B*tch that she is...never ever want to see her again cause all she wants to do is tell other people their business. My cousin is so stupid to have this woman in his life....all she does is sponge off of him.
Pirate, Glad you were able to set them straight. How dare they. How dare any of them. As if we aren't going through hell already. Somehow they think we need more????
I was reported to APS by a nurse she though he should be in a nursing home probably so they would not have to do home care-A women came out but I found out 2 days later she was not a social worker and said she was going to push out and hire 24/7 care for him-it was unfounded and that afternoon he went outside after dressing himself and lifted heavy flagstone so I called her number and asked her to come back out then to see what this helpless half-dead person was doing. Weeks later a man came along running for county office I told him the story and he had worked in social service for our county and two others and knew my daughter and he reported HER -never heard a word about after that. My husband was so mean he asked my son to get a tape recorder so he could talk about the history of his family but he wanted to to catch me saying something wrong but I was not conversing with him at that time. When he died and the social worker packed up his belongings the tape and recorder was gone I think somebody heard his craziness and throug it away.
Austin, I don't understand why they wish to hurt us, but somehow they seem to lose their compassion in their own pain. Glad you weren't tempted to listen to his tapes. Not something you need to hear. Also glad you were able to vindicate yourself without a legal battle and got a little justice.
Carolsmom - It sounds like you've done all you can and at this point, it might be wise to move your mom. This will enable you to be a loving and patient daughter during visits and let professionally trained medical personnel be the bad guys. Don't worry about what others say or think, you MUST consider your mom's negative behaviors and realize this will only get worse. If your daughters are giving you a hard time about her care, make them responsible for her - ALL DAY EVERY DAY for two months and see how long it lasts. I suspect they'll be asking you to take back responsibility in a couple of weeks.
There is NOTHING wrong with saying you've had enough! There is nothing wrong with putting in "time" and letting someone else tend to your mom. Ask the elder abuse people to help you get her into a assisted living or a nursing home - it will probably be the best for all of you. Good luck!
I too am being accused of Elder Abuse. It's a nightmare! They don't even know our relationship they don't know that it has always been grandma and me. My grandmother and I have been so close...Me and her. Now she is saying that I took her money. Money that she told me to put into custodial accounts last summer (Plus I am a co-owner on the CD's) So I put them in the accounts and now 5 months later I get the letter saying I stole the money! I know that the lady that would drive my grandmother to her dr's appt. is behind this. Along with my sister who after 25 years of no contact with my grandmother is now moved in with her!! (My grandma fell and broke her hip and that lady got my grandma to sign power of attorney over to her and put her name on all the accounts and title of her home) My attorney is saying that we should put the money back the way it was...For 20 years the money has been for my kid's college education and now it will go to this lady and a sister who is only there for the money! UGH! I love you grandma and miss our relationship.
also same day she fell, hurt her foot, dr said to go to er. she did not want to go. i spent all day long in hospital getting monitor put on, 3 hours in emergency room getting xrayed. she was so ugly to me all day, just wanted to go home and leave her alone. when we got home i told her if she could not remember who called and where her appointments were i would just answer the phone and took phone out of her room. she pushes her alert button, calls my daughters screaming and crying that i am hurting her, they rush down, take her home with them, and tell me to get out of her house. now another note, i had been gone for 10 days visiting my son, my daughter checked on her one day, calls me and says mom, grandma had a rat in the bed with her. i get home and there is rat signs all in the house. she had left food out, it was gross. i had spent hours and hours cleaning and still trying to care for her and guess just tired. but when aps
comes out she tells them i am trying to overdose her, trying to get her in nursing home. i feel like i am brain dead. she lays in the bed all the time, but if she knows my daughters are coming, she jumps up gets dressed and acts like a different person. everytime she has to go to hospital she gets mad at me and blames me. i am just ready to run to another town and say let the grand daughters take care of her, cause i have had it. on top of that i have my 57 year old disabled brother that i care for.
guess what hurst more than anything is that my own 2 daughters do not bother to help until this comes up. i begged them to set down and talk but they would never do it.
Carolsmom, I understand your fear and anguish. It is devastating to be accused, and feel humiliation and experience scorn from others, knowing you are innocent, when no one believes you. Get an bulldog attorney with big fangs, and protect yourself, it the advice I've heard. Talk to some trusted individuals, and get their advice and help. This is common, but terrifying when it happens to you. And cry out to God, who is a present help in time of need.
Talk to your daughter about what really happened and hopefully they are understanding enough.
Hope it works out
I was advised to hire a bulldog attorney with big o' honking fangs. Did, but decided to wait...because I stand before God. Let him defend me. And if I need the attorney, two have said they'll be happy to defend me. Plus a Social Worker and State Trooper will stand beside me in court. Can't get much better than that!
So, 1913, what do her doctors say about her shenanigans? You need to take care of yourself, and cross t's and dot i's for safety. At least, that's what I've been told... Document everything!
Lawyers are an interesting bunch. New world, this.
Wow, perhaps you need to be a squeaky wheel with your mom's health care. Multiple phone calls can be helpful...to different agencies. Or find a new doctor?! I'll be praying for you, too. Can you contact your mom's physician again, saying "Mom needs..." Document what you just wrote, too. Take care, and let us know how things turn out for your mom.
You may need to wait a while if your family members are not currently speaking to you, let things cool down and try again. Hope you can have a restful holiday season and look forward to better times
i remeber when dad was just started to get worst , he would make me cry and i thought wow he s doing a good job of it and decided that im not going to let him make me cry like that no more . when he gets in one of his moods i get up and walk away from him and go into another room . sometimes i shut my bdrm door and lock myself in there and take a lotta deep breaths .
then i would come out like nothing happen ,
just cant argue with dementia person . just leave the room ....
I can tell you from my experience that it is better to be honest and upfront with that person. As long as you are in a codependant relationship, then the care manager will try to keep your mom and you together. Care managers don't like to be used as referees as a rule, so just go ahead and speak up for yourself.
Forgive me for asking - but as I don't recall whose home it is I can only suggest that you approach it this way and ask the following question - - What is the plan if you were to be 'hit by a bus tomorrow'? Having that alternate plan discussed with your mom should give you some peace of mind. You may find that your relationship improves, or it may break - - weigh what is important in the relationship and take away the stress and arguments.
I hope that being frank with my suggestions will actually help you make a postive change. There are people who can handle caregiving longer than others. Some can only handle it when the parent is not at their home. Some would be devastated to lose their parent. I hope you look inside yourself and decide what you really need to happen for you and your mom's best interests and then go for it.
Good luck -
Needless to say, she is no longer living with us. I have had enough. I sent her to Hubbys sister house and told them I draw the line at lies and physical aggression. We have young children. She is not welcome back.
Hang in there!!!
Msdiva, you are right to stay away from your Mom...she's being abusive. Doesn't sound at ALL like she's "confused". Sometimes you have call things what they really are, and that is an abusive situation that will likely only end when she dies. Hang in there, and don't listen to anyone who tells you to put yourself in emotional harm's way (being the target of bullying/abuse/hatefulness) - there is nothing good that can come of allowing yourself to be crapped on by a mean person, even if it's a parent. Especially if it's a parent! *hugs*
AARP & other organizations have lobbied for laws to protect seniors, but there are few if any to protect the caregivers. It seems we are guilty until proven innocent. The "greatest generation" is not all that. They did their share of damage along with the good.
I have seen more abuse of caregivers than elders on this site!!!!!!
I see the pain and heartache that many parents have caused their adult children here and it angers me. The medical proffession keeps seniors alive much longer now often without quality of life. This often to the detriment of the caregiver. Something is wrong here!!!!!!
A parent can bring charges against a caregiver but not be prosecuted for false charges. Are seniors exempt from the law???
How did we allow this to happen?????
What happened to "innocent until proven guilty", well, ask the lawyers who are always finding ways to make a buck. Greed is partly to blame for this, IMHO. Elder abuse exists BUT so do the elderly abusers! And I believe they ARE exempt from the law.
As long as the "sheeple" syndrome is alive and well, the medical profession will keep on pumping the elderly with pills, injections, hopsital/ER visits and the propaganda that this pill will fix it all. If it's advertised on tv, my mom trots her happy behind to the doc,asks for it AND she gets it. Her doc knows her liver is practically destroyed, yet he keeps giving her meds. Talk about elder abuse!
We let it happen by believing all the hype, taking our eye off the ball and being lazy. Our "fight" is gone in this country. We just take it. We expect someone else to take care of us and then spit in their face when they do. The system is broken and I haven't a clue on how to repair it.
It was a simple notebook that was entitled, "Journal--MM/DD-MM/DD/YYYY."
Whenever anyone else would come over to give us a break, then they wrote in it as well.
ex. Monday, September 06, 2010
dkdkdkdkdkd
dkdkdkdkdk
dkdkdkdkdkddk
dkdkdkdkdkdkd
LAH (or Laura)
sometimes it would be a few paragraphs, sometimes it would be a whole page, sometimes it would be a page and a half.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
Mom regrets having wasted her life & somehow it's my fault. I didn't ask to be born & I certainly did not ask for this abuse. I moved out 2 weeks after my 18th birthday and have never asked them for anything since. I started working at 12 yrs. old and made my own way. Now I'm chained to a vain, manipulative nutcase who wants to take me out with her.
I love you too mom.
How dare they. How dare any of them. As if we aren't going through hell already. Somehow they think we need more????
Glad you weren't tempted to listen to his tapes. Not something you need to hear.
Also glad you were able to vindicate yourself without a legal battle and got a little justice.
There is NOTHING wrong with saying you've had enough! There is nothing wrong with putting in "time" and letting someone else tend to your mom. Ask the elder abuse people to help you get her into a assisted living or a nursing home - it will probably be the best for all of you.
Good luck!
My grandmother and I have been so close...Me and her.
Now she is saying that I took her money. Money that she told me to put into custodial accounts last summer (Plus I am a co-owner on the CD's) So I put them in the accounts and now 5 months later I get the letter saying I stole the money!
I know that the lady that would drive my grandmother to her dr's appt. is behind this. Along with my sister who after 25 years of no contact with my grandmother is now moved in with her!! (My grandma fell and broke her hip and that lady got my grandma to sign power of attorney over to her and put her name on all the accounts and title of her home) My attorney is saying that we should put the money back the way it was...For 20 years the money has been for my kid's college education and now it will go to this lady and a sister who is only there for the money! UGH!
I love you grandma and miss our relationship.