So the good news is that he's back to work, and this is kind of a dream job for him. Today he gets his company phone and credit card. After that he trains with his friends and eventually they let him out with a company truck. Job's largely commission and really that's pretty easy to come by when you have a water/sewer emergency on holidays, evenings and weekends so who knows when I'll see him.

THIS ISN'T THE DAY FMIL that you call him and mewl about how paid SIL needs a break and after all you'd feel more comfy in son's arms cradling you to your now routine chemo hospitalization that you say you are undergoing only because it'll give FFIL (who had a stroke) a reason to "go on." You have a paid driver there who said she could do for both of you by herself and that's why you pay her! Utilize her.

I can't wait to see what happens when his hours are set, chances are they'll be weekday days and watch, SIL will helpfully reorganize all that so those days--the only days I will get to spend with him--are now largely spent shuttling FMIL and FFIL to their various appointments, painting their steps, cleaning up after their cat and so forth.

And then he'll be mewling at me about how the parents have old money inheritance. Oh, I'm fully aware that they are multimillionaires. Quit the parsimonious Depression-era coupon clipping crap, fact is that you are insisting on the most expensive aging-in-place option available and are already paying for people to help you but you keep calling him and us. "Oh, it's just this thing." "Oh it's just that thing." These things have consumed my life.

Like I said, dream job for him. Potential financial stability for us. Easily blown if the company gps sees he's not in a place he's supposed to be for a few minutes. Let alone the distinctive work truck.

I'm just so pissed. Not just at her but also him. At age 56 his obligations are to his job and to his (impeding) marriage. Which won't happen if the ILs are taking up most of our spare minutes with "come over" requests (I can't because they insisted on bringing back their cat that I'm deathly allergic to, let alone the fact that it almost killed FMIL) or hospital visits (now closed but when they reopen it'll be one person). Why does every single social call have to come with some hook--clean my cat box, rosebushes need to be shaped just so, please paint these steps that realistically won't be traversed ever by you...and then you dare insinuate that this is all for him and Brother and that the house will sell more at some future date? STOP IT. That place is an as-is and anyone who buys it will be knocking that out, knocking your knotty pine out, your 1980 carpet out and extensively renoing it. JFC.

What's next? Well FMIL has discovered that there's a new FDA therapy available if her cancer fails. It takes over an hour each way to get to the teaching hospitals that administer it and you have to be monitored every day to see if you need to go into those hospitals (which aren't the ones they normally want.) So now it isn't just 20 minutes of driving, plus wait for chemo, plus 20 minutes back. It's more like the whole day. Which again they can afford. It just feels so much more speshul when it's fambily and it's free!

Him getting the job is extremely great news. It is something his parents endorsed too. His parents however have the outlook that "we'll work around it" meaning that they could be cannibalizing every hour he has with fear, obligation and guilt. None of which I have toward these people. Not many people are 1 percenters with old money. They are. We aren't.

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Yeah, I'm kinda waiting to see what he does now. He has said he wants to be treated the same as Brother, who isn't being tasked beyond 2-4 hours a week that consist mainly of social visits NOT work requests.

I agree with Tothill. He is making his choices. They seem to be about family, not about you. It is now your choice to decide if you are going to cement yourself into this walkway.

Until your fellow sets up boundaries he is going to be stuck asking how high each time his parents say jump.

Unfortunately, he has to come to this conclusion on his own.

You can decide if you can live with this situation as it is. If not, then you have a choice to make.

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