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This is, I guess you could call it, a saga of my journey after losing my soul mate and the love of my life. I hope this may help someone else going through the same thing.


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Hi Everyone,


Well a new chapter in my life is beginning and I am so sad that I will not be able to share it with my honey, Steve, who was the love of my life and my soulmate. As you probably know Steve passed away last Friday morning (11/16/18) at 2:15am.


These last few days have been a blur as I guess you could say I am still in a fog (or in shock). I sat with Steve from Thursday at 11:00am until he passed at 2:15am on Friday and then was at the hospital until 4:30am. The doctors and nurses were wonderful. I asked the nurses if they had any coffee and they said none on the floor and I would have to go to another floor. I told them coffee would have to wait as I was not leaving Steve's side. They asked if I was hungry and I told them no. The nurses said they would go to the cafeteria to get me something. I remember thanking them and then going back to holding his hand. A short time later they brought a big vacuum pot full of fresh coffe and all the trimmings and some graham crackers. My honey's brother and SIL got there a short time after the coffee arrived. (they had driven 4 hours to get there) They are my family as far as all of are concerned and I love them. I stepped back to allow them to spend some time with Steve. I did not know it at the time but the last thing Steve said to his brother and SIL was to take care of me. I was holding my honey's hand as he passed over. Pallative care had made sure that he was comfortable not in pain or discomfort and I know that my honey was ready to go as he had been through so much for 27 of our 30 years. We were not married (even common law) but I treasure the 30 years that I was allowed to have with him. Though we had our ups and downs I always felt safe and loved. I found out from him that the time when he threatened me and was being such a jerk during the Feb to June was because he was trying to push me away so that I would not be so hurt as he did not think he would make it through it. The frustration anger he must have felt as his strength ebbed and he could not do the things he wanted to do including protecting me and our fur babies. He had a defibulator which had been turned off a short time before he passed and his pacemaker did not interfere when it was his time.


It is now Wednesday at 12:15am. I took a nap earlier today so I am just now starting to get sleepy. But I know that I have to hit the bed as our Fire Dept will be here around 10am to put new smoke detectors in so I will continue my saga later on today or this evening. I hope the start of my saga makes sense. Sorry to ramble. Y'all have a great day and I will talk to y'all later today.

Find Care & Housing
Thanks Snoopy, Mountain Moose and Shell.
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Thinking of you, Dusti!
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I'm so sorry for your great loss, Dusti. You two shared an enviable bond. Thank you for this thread in sharing your new journey. You will help others.

Try to be good to yourself and may sweet memories of your beloved bring you peace.
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I just wanted to say, "I am sorry for your lost". He sound like he was a great guy.

It will take you time to find a new normal. But that's ok. You take all the time you need.


May God comfort you and give you peace in your time of need in the name of Jesus.
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