My dad is nearing 90, with such awful congestive heart failure that his life is miserable with it. There are no further or better treatments. His vision is worsening, his bladder is worn out, he has falls that are a constant source of anxiety, his walking is dependent on a rollator for each slow, shuffling step. Most of his friends and family he grew up with have died, he’s lost his beloved wife. Though he has children and grandchildren that bring him joy it’s simply not enough to make up for the hardships of daily life. And now the Coronavirus comes along. He’s almost wishing for it. He’s heard it’s similar to pneumonia in the very old, and has long heard pneumonia referred to as “the old man’s friend” as it doesn’t tend to take long to die and is much more peaceful than CHF. He’s not being careless, but he’s perfectly okay if he gets corona. He’d consider a way out of this as a gift. Maybe, just maybe, in all the panic (and I’m speaking as a mom with an adult child in a high risk category) for some this isn’t something to panic about. None of us is getting out of here alive, we don’t control anything as much as we try to fool ourselves into thinking we do, and getting this for some could be okay. (Now blast me with how stupid my thoughts are)
My mother, at age 90, has very low QOL, and is ready to die. Amazing genetics will probably keep her 'going' (meaning: alive) for many years to come. She has ONE friend still alive. She gets NO joy from grandkids or great grands. Never has.
I'm trying to not to panic and to be a calmer voice of reason amongst friends and neighbors who ARE panicking....b/c this will pass, somehow.
Your thoughts are NOT stupid. I agree with you 100%. You just wrote what a lot of us are too chicken to SAY.
My SIL, who is a Dr. has agreed to allow me the dignity of 'dr assisted suicide'--and as I have had cancer a a fairly young age, know what is likely to 'get me'.
I am NOT putting my kids through watching me deteriorate in some NH, losing my mind and body simultaneously. I don't know what out obsession is with keeping our elderly alive for so long, esp when they have zero quality of life--we've all heard/seen of people who linger for years and years--in absolute misery b/c modern medicine can keep them alive.
Both my mother and my MIL are 90. And they are OK. Both are fighting to stay alive, for what purpose I do not know. Both complain nonstop about the horrors of their lives and we see it and try to understand.
I hope we've learned a lot from this pandemic, as in the next few weeks, people are going to start ignoring the 'regulations'. DH went to Lowes yesterday and he said it was absolutely PACKED with people, while the WalMart next door was nearly empty. People weren't stockpiling things, they were taking advantage of the good weather to get gardening stuff. I asked hoe many people were social distancing and how many were wearing masks and he said 'Maybe half'. Well, that's not going to be helpful.
Oh well--this thing will end eventually and people are not going to stay indoors for a lot longer. I, for one, have an anxiety disorder and have been going slowly just bonkers....
Truth is, here in Colorado, there are about 100 Nursing Homes and residential care homes with outbreaks. Out of the 411 people who've died here thus far, the vast majority have been elders in such care home situations. Yes, there have been some younger folks too, as well as a child and a 21 year old young man, but again, most have been elderly folks living in care facilities.
I feel privileged to belong to a community of real independent thinkers.
The aspect of this that motivates me to keep him safe is that if he contracts the virus and is hospitalized, he would be without his family at his side. He would die alone.
If he contracted the virus and didn't want to seek medical care, I don't know what that would look like.
Death is not optional as NHWM stated. It will happen to each of us.
It may be a blessing for those just existing, with no quality of life. If they should get the virus, while they would be treated, chances of survival are low.
I certainly hope it would be a peaceful way to go.
This is a tough topic. Whoever thought last Christmas we’d be coping with a worldwide pandemic for Easter?
God Bless us all!
I'm frankly disgusted with the media. Fear mongering at it's worst. I hold them responsible if we lose our retirement savings. Yes, this is a bad situation but they have escalated the panic in my opinion.
Do I blame an elderly person for thinking this would be a quicker way to die? Not at all.
I don't think they're stupid, either :)
Ammo sales are up. Today it was reported that there was a long line outside the 1 store in town that sells guns and ammo. It’s called turners outdoor, I have never been there myself. They had to limit the number of people allowed inside because the line was so long! My BIL even hit up my husband over the weekend asking him to try to get him 1000 rounds of ammo!!!! Not gonna happen, my hubby does not have special privileges, he has to jump the same hoops as everyone else! His job doesn’t make it easier to get ammo, thank God because I was pissed when my BIL made that stupid request! I am not anti gun but the guy is bipolar and depressed and does not need a gun let alone 1000 bullets!!!
If anything those who may die if they are elderly and compromised are benefitting. I worry about the massive number of able bodied people who are very quickly becoming unemployed. I can't imagine this won't spark depression and suicides.. I hope it doesn't cause mass shootings as gun sales are up. I think also there will be a wave of crime as people grow desperate. It may be a coincidence but yesterday we had a number of fraudulent charges to one of our credit cards. I pray for unity and kindness.
Prolonging life as it has become in the US isn't prolonging good life. I'm fortunate that my parents went relatively quickly, although Dad's last days lasted about 6 weeks. Still, it was agonizing to see him in that condition.
OTOH, my sister's last months of battling cancer were equally painful.
For those at the end stage of life, this could be a blessing. The problem is, none of us can choose to be exposed and be successful. It's still a gamble on who'll get CV and who won't.
I do hope your father finds peace, regardless of how long he lives. And I congratulate you for addressing a difficult and sensitive topic.
I can't blast anyone for that thought process.
Your dad sounds like he is pretty amazing and understands that a peaceful passing is not the worse thing that can happen. Give him a big hug and tell him that we need more men with his common sense.
You all take care of one another and enjoy every minute possible, may your dad get his peaceful passing and not have to suffer from the CHF. Hugs to both of you!
And, like seasonal flu, it is occasionally taking out the 35 year old in good health or an otherwise healthy child.
I wish your father every ease and comfort. But I don't wish coronavirus spread on any of us.