The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing? - AgingCare.com

The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Follow
Share

Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.

The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"

29K

Comments

Show:
1 2 3 4 5
This one?
Jeanne Robertson "Don't go rafting without a Baptist in the boat!"

LOL!
🚢
(0)
Report

Take a listen to humorist Jeanne Robertson on YouTube retell of a little boat ride through the Grand Canyon
(0)
Report

Glad, I have no clue. It was in a brochure we got. It could be a rowboat around a pond. Can’t amount to much in an hour 15 minutes. I’ll let you know.
(1)
Report

(((((frazz))))) you have some pretty frustrating things too They like playing the :"Nobody loves me" card. Narcs are totally self centered. You can never do enough or do it well enough. They want to be the center of your universe. My sis is a narc too and once after I became POA financial and medical, and had moved mother 3 times in that many years sis said to me "What have you ever done for mother?" I know that had been discussed between them - everything about me always was. You are right your mum doesn't appreciate anything. You just have to set your boundaries and stick to them Sounds like you need less contact. You have been going through a lot.-
(3)
Report

Having an error like that could really screw up closing! The bank will know the difference!
(1)
Report

Glad -it is a good thing YOU know what you are doing!!!
(1)
Report

Checked into electric and plumbing permits for my house. They are issued by the state as in this rural area specialized inspectors are non-existent. Hadn't been able to find the permits, then the building inspector, who is on my staff, found them. One of the commissioners happened to be in my office when this happened. How in the heck is a final electric issued in May and the initial inspection in mid-July. I told the inspector he needs to figure out what the heck, with the commissioner still in my office, happened! Commissioner laughed about what a big deal that could become if misinterpreted by someone. It is kinda funny. I told building inspector that I want no part of this, I do not want in the middle of this, and to figure it out on Monday. Wouldn't you know!

Golden, I think that the non-reading med pros happens often. I would be frustrated too.

Becky, a boat cruise in Colorado?! Where? I know of raft trips, but a cruise?
(2)
Report

I'm still having a frustrating time of it with mom and all that her needs entail. We did a phone call on speaker between her and sis last Friday, and it really surprised me that she confronted sis on some of the stuff that she's done. Sis of course didn't really say much, just denied it. We hadn't discussed any of that stuff beforehand, and I haven't even brought up any of it to mom since around the time it was happening and the last court appearance that took place when she was staying here, for fear of just upsetting her when she is trying to get adjusted at her facility. I was fully expecting her to throw me under the bus and play the sympathy card because she's not living with me anymore and she wishes she could move back here. Anyway, sis hung up, and mom wanted to call her back and I said maybe another time when things are a little calmer.

Ever since then, she has been wanting to call sis back, but we haven't yet. I don't think it's a good idea right now with the court mess still ongoing. I'm waiting for further input on the phone call/visit issue from mom's attorney.

On another note, went to see mom earlier and brought her pen needles for her insulin pens and some pajamas that I found of hers, but forgot the bottled water and paper towels she asked me to bring. Not a big deal, she still has some and I will see her again on Monday morning for an eye appt.

Well, she harped on that, and then asked if I had been able to find her another plastic mug since one of hers broke. I said that I hadn't, it just slipped my mind, have been busy with other things. I suggested that since the facility has a bus that goes on Tuesdays to Walmart, maybe she could start doing that. She said no, that she didn't want to do that because she has to wait an hour for the bus when they go, I guess to give everyone time to get what they need. I said, and yes, I was a little irritated, "What's the difference in you waiting an hour and me having to take an hour out of my day to go do it?" She said, "Do you not love me anymore?" Because I asked her to get her own stuff at WALMART!

I listed out the things I do, doctor's appts, store runs, paying bills, managing all her financial stuff (taxes, insurance), pharmacy runs, etc etc and said, "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't do any of this." I know, it just all went in one ear and out the other, but I swear she doesn't appreciate anything. It's always more, more, more. I finally just said I needed to go because I could feel my blood pressure rising and didn't want to yell, so I cut the visit short. Told her I'll be back on Monday.

Ugh, but I feel bad too for being grouchy and irritable. I just have days where I get so fed up with feeling like a servant to someone who is "all about me" and feeling stressed out because of it.
(1)
Report

Thanks frazz. It was so unnecessary. All they had to do in May was put her back on the risperdal as they said they would, and she would have been fine again. Ultimately it was and is the doctor's decision. My job now is to make sure he has the proper information. My dd said she didn't mind making phone calls. I keep her updated in case I get hit by a bus or something. But she easily says she will do things, then when the time comes they may or may not get done. I had a tough winter with CFS/FM or I might have been on them harder. All we can do is the best we can.
(3)
Report

Golden, I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds really frustrating. It does sound like they need a liaison between the DOC and the nurses. I'm glad you are doing what you need to though to take care of you. Hopefully the DOC can help you make sure she is monitored properly.
(0)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
Related
Questions