My mother died 4 years ago and I still feel guilty because I did not encourage her to go further with treatment. Doctors gave her 6-12 mo.
She said she wanted to come home, to our house. I abided by her wishes but I don't think others thought that because she was not vocal about it. It was harder than hard taking care of her. I even asked her if she wanted to go to my brothers or back to the nursing home because I felt I was not taking good care of her. I gave her one pill of ativan per the nurses instruction and she became delirious and flailing about. When I became very upset with the hospice nurses, they sent two the next day. I guess they were afraid of liabilty, but I was furious. I have no one to really talk to about this. My husband is patient but not any help and my son and his wife, they all say I did everything I could. My brother and his family are estranged. He was never any help, although I think he was her favorite one. I could not leave her in the nursing home. We had always said if one of us died the other would be there. I have been recently diagnosed bi-polar.I did everything for her for 25 years.