My mom constantly tells me how much she loves me and she just wants me. It’s just me, me, me it’s very draining.

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It’s actually just all about her, when I was a child she would not want me to go out with my friends but stay home with her. When I became a teen she was many many times so mean to me because I wanted to be with my friends. I'm all she has in life. I moved her two years ago to America to be closer to me and I fly to see her every month, plus talk to her on the phone every day but it’s so draining to hear constantly how much she misses me and loves me and why can’t I be with her in xmas. I have to put my foot down and say no Mom, I need to be with my kids and husband who by the way she hates my husband, says he is the devil. It’s so so draining to have to hear the drama all the time of how much she loves me, does anyone else have this, it’s just really all about her !


It sounds to me like your mother may have some narcissistic tendencies. I would recommend that you do some research on mothers with narcissism and see if fits. My mother is narcissistic and treated me very poorly my entire life. She made things very difficult for me with my family. I was the scapegoat and after I finally put my foot down she stopped all contact with me. I understand that your culture may be different with different expectations on how much children need to do for their parents. But I feel your family should come first above all else. You need to set up boundaries with her on what you can and can not do for her. The constant stress you feel every day due to your mother is not healthy for you and it may affect the way you're able to be present for your husband and children. You should definitely not allow her to put down your husband. I know all about your situation, I was in the same spot as you and now that I'm older and my children are grown, I realize now I wish I would have put them first. I think it would be helpful for you to seek out counseling with someone who is knowledgeable about narcissism and elderly parents. I was hurt and upset for about 6 months after my mother stopped talking to me. After that, I realized that my life was so much better without her in it. No drama or chaos. I wish I could have been in a position to understand my mother's mental health issues and possibly work through things, but to be honest, people with narcissism rarely ever change. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how difficult it is. Please find a therapist that you can talk to, find support groups if possible either in person or on Facebook. There are many good ones on FB for daughters with narcissistic mothers. You're in a difficult spot and you need help from others to get through this. I'm sorry, it's awful that you're going through this, but with work on your part, you can make it better for you and your family. Hang in there. Best of luck to you.
My BFF is in a similar situation. Now she is sharing a house with her husband and her mom. It's super stressful on her! She is past the point of resentment and into the period of "waiting her out." She is miserable at home.

So I would just say: stand your ground. And whatever you do, however sick she gets down the road, DON'T MOVE HER IN WITH YOUR FAMILY.

She sounds very selfish at best. This usually only gets worse with age and illness.

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