My daughter has died of cancer. Nothing is the same anymore.

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I have just lost my oldest daughter to lung cancer, She was only 35 and a non smoker, I was divorced after a long term marraige about four years ago. I thought that my life was over then and it took a long time to heal from that, A year and a half ago my daughter was diagnosed with lung cancer, She fought bravely but died almost one month ago. I dont know how to do this. Nothing is real or feels right, I see a therapist but I feel like I am watching someone else live my life,Eileen

37 Comments

So sorry to hear about your loss and pain. I hurt with you just hearing about it. At first I thought I wouldn't write, because I never lost a daughter, and wouldn't know what to say. But I know what it feels like to lose someone and hurt. You've probably been hurting for a long time. Does the therapist help? When you say you feel like you're watching someone else live you life, what does that mean? Like just going through the motions? I pray you can find some comfort with God, and His peace. God bless you, Eileen. Please keep writing if it helps. A
Eileen, I am truly sorry for your loss. My love
Eileen, I am truly sorry for your loss. My love & prayers are with you at this difficult time. It sounds like you have been through other losses in life & with God's help, you will come through this too. ~hugs~
Eileen, my heart goes out to you. Just keep doing it daily. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. As I was reading a book on grieving and loss (not just physical death), and there is no easy way through it and no time frame to heal. Cry if you feel like crying, and don't hide emotions. You have all our ears (okay, eyes) to read and cry with you.

Keep looking up and stay with your therapist. He/She will be a great help to you.
Hi Eileen, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter, I will try to help. 27 years ago this March I lost my 13 year old son to a drowning/hypothermia accident. He died with two of his friends. They were missing from March 26 to April 19th when their bodies were found by a fisherman at 6 a.m. in the morning of the 19th. I wanted to hold him when i identified him but could not for obvious reasons. He could not have a open casket, the only thing that kept me sane was the fact that I had a 14 month old son that I tried 10 years to conceive with several operations and 42 hysteosalpinograms. I still wanted to die. It hurt to shower, I couldn't keep food in my stomach, I had no interest in anyone, all I could think about was he would never graduate, he would never goto a prom he would never kiss a girl, well you get the picture and your mind can drive you absolutely crazy. I have since learned there are worse things in this world than death. We are all born and we all have to die, some younger than others some more horiffic deaths but we still have to die. I said in the funeral home I expected to buy Stephen all sorts of things but never a casket. It still hurts today with the anniversary of his death approaching and it always will. I cry tears for you I am hurting for you to. Please know you are loved, do what God wants you to do and you will be reunited in a world so much better than this one, yes this life is wonderful at times, but Jesus said let me carry that cross for you, let me give rest to the heavy laden. You are loved and thought of did you know besides God there are 15 other people in this world you don't even know about that love you did you ever get that email. Someone thinks of you all the time you are not alone. I hope you know there are alot of caregivers out here who care, and a lot of mothers who have lost one or more of their children and we can be strong knowing it is all part of Gods plan. neon xoxoxo
eileen, neon i am sorry for both of you. hang in girls this has to be a tough time for both of you. hopefully your loved ones are in a better place. i believe they are. stay strong
Eileen,

I am so sorry for your loss. Many years ago I watched my mom grieve when my brother died at a young age. Just hold on to what is good & everyone on this site will be there for you. Losing your daughter after a brave battle with cancer is a very deep & private grief that we many never fully understand, but we can all empathize and be there today, tomorrow and 10 years from now. Loss has no timeline, neither does love or fellowship. Please take care & let us lend an ear or shoulder if you need one.

Cat
Eileen, I also just lost my only daughter on February 10, age 35, non-smoker to lung cancer, bone, brain, and breast cancer. I grieve with you as only a mother can. Yes, sometimes everything seems surreal and I can't quite get my mind around it, but I am so glad to tell you that there is one who can comfort you like no other. There is one who is closer than your next breath. When answers aren't enough, there is Jesus. As much as we loved our daughters, he loves them, and us, even more. He gave his life to conquer death so we might live on eternally with him. Death for my daughter was simply stepping through the doorway from this old life of pain and sorrow into her new life of absolute joy. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she is waiting to greet me and I will see her again. Until then, we will miss our children more than words can express and there will always be a void in our families. But aren't we blessed to have had our beautiful daughters for 35 wonderful years!? I wouldn't want mine to come back to the pain and I'm glad she is now pain free and whole. We can go back in our memories and relive all the fun and grand times with our girls any time we want to. No one can ever take their history away from us. My brother-in-law lost his only child, his son, unexpectedly at age 13 and was devastated. He didn't have time to say goodbye like we did. I'm so thankful for that time! He told me it gets easier after a while when the wound isn't so fresh. Just take it one day at a time along with me, and we'll heal. There are still others who love us and need our love. Hugs, Kathy
I can not begin to imagine the heartache you ladies have endured. I have no words, only prayers for you all to have God's hands on your hearts to get thru this. God Bless
Neon and Ehoff I am so very sorry for your losses and may God bless you both.

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