I am a 69 year old taking of my 67 year old wife. Just saying.

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I take her to get her and my hair fixed. We do grocery shopping often, Dr. appointments are our social life. She goes to bed around 6 PM. I crash about 12 and that is my time. I FB a lot, watch TV and surf the net. She can take pretty good care of herself, but driving is out of the question. I stay away from the sadness.


Michael did you have a question? It sounds like you are doing a good job taking care of your wife. How much sleep do you normally get? Sounds like you might not be getting enough.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself and plan for the future when you might need more help as her condition progresses.
Do you have children or other family members who might help with your wife to allow you a bit of time away?
Exercise is also very good to keep your mood stable and it’s also good for your wife. A nice brisk walk every day can make life sweeter. Come back to this site often even if it’s just to vent. We care.

Are you asking for applause? Cause I will give you a standing ovation! My DH is not able to care for himself, much less me! I fear the day I REALLY need him, he just doesn't have a caregiving bone in his body!!

Bless you!! And maybe look into some respite care for you, so you can get out of the house and see friends, or just get away. Caregiving is very lonely, and you need to take care of yourself.

I know of a man about your age, a little younger maybe, the brother of a close friend. His similarly-aged wife is showing clear signs of dementia. The house is a mess, she doesn't wash her hair and she can't remember a single thing he tells her, for example. So he's left her and gone to live abroad, and everyone in my friend's family (including my friend) seems to think that this is perfectly reasonable because his wife is "just impossible."

So while I don't pretend I've researched the statistics, yes I do agree you're something of a rarity and I do hope you get lots of pats on the back. Chaps aren't generally expected to put others' needs before their own, and it is cheering to read of one who thinks doing so is a no-brainer.

And I also agree that you must have a thought for your own future if you're going to hold out.
Thanks every one, I know it wasn't a real question. Just letting off steam some how, any
how. Took her to get her Watchman procedure checked and she can be off blood thinners.
I don’t know what a watchman is but any day one can get off of blood thinners is a good day.
Hey Michael. I thought I was the only one here taking care of a wife. I am 70 and she is 74. Yes I help her with just about everything. Getting dressed although she can dress herself. It just takes her forever to dress if she understands it is time to put clothes on. She like to bathe but won't use soap. She really like the step-in tub. She can squat down up to her neck. I do the cooking and she does the eating. I clean the floors when she has an accident. I have learned to keep the wet/dry vac in the house.
Laundry is a full days job. Shopping is not fun. She wants to go her direction and we need to go the other way. I spend time right here reading about all of the problems in the know world.
We should get together over a glass of iced tea and compare notes.
Good work and best of luck.
Michael, you are a saint. Please take care of YOU!
I have a different angle on my situation. Dad is 78 taking care of 80 year old mom. She had big toe amputated, complications, a year later foot and part of leg removed below knee. Will NOT do PT, cries and says it hurts, so she quit. Was in rehab the prescribed time. Dad was at facility every day, bringing her coffee and other food. The admin turned a blind eye to this. She'd get all dressed up (lots of dangly jewelry), he'd roll her down the hall to PT. And he'd sit and watch every move. She didn't (couldn't, wouldn't) do much. He'd roll her back to room. They finally released her (or kicked her out?). Not sure because none of us have permission to see medical docs, etc. Got a prosthetic but it hurts so she refuses to use it. Won't go back for prosthetic adjustments, says surgeon wants to try and shave a little bone off for relief, she refuses to go back in for any surgery. Home situation: they fake it, Dad does everything. She is Cleopatra in a wheelchair. I fly in to visit, can take it a few hours. Will not sleep at house, she has cussed me out for little things I notice. Siblings living in same town limit visits because it is difficult watching Dad being horsewhipped over everything. This is the short version. I could go on and on. So sad, especially when they won't allow ANY help.
Well, we all must what we feel like doing. The winter is not bad I cut fire wood and keep the fire place insert going. I have 2 dogs so life isn't all bad. I found where my M. lodge and what night they meet, so she sleeps a lot. I get out when I want to .  Yes I am an old Soldier, so I have seen and done worse. Enough said. 
You are doing a great job I'm sure. You seem to have a heart of gold. My Aunt Martha would have said your going to get a BIG jewel in your crown!

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