Help! My mom has been taken advantage of by someone. He talked her out of her savings, sold 2 homes to her way above the value.

Follow
Share

He talked her out of taking her of taking her bp meds. She had a stroke monday. He told the hospital she was drunk and on pills. She is incapable of handling her own affairs and cannot remember anything longer than 30 minutes. This was before the stroke! We cannot get her to agree to see a doctor to be evaluated since she is away months at a time with this man. She has in a 2 year period gone through an approximate total of $200,000. Which was left for her by my father who passed away. He also left her with several rental properties along witht he family home which are going to be taken because the property taxes are going unpaid. What can be done to keep this man away from her and have her evaluated before everything is lost and in his possession? Each time it is mentioned to her she looks at us and say" My taxes aren't paid?" PLease give us direction while there is time left.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
32

Comments

Show:
1 2 3 4
My elderly dad with Alzheimer's is being conned by a gold digger, who complains about him behind his back ...she's not POA thank goodness, by he changed his will, without informing us, and he's now incompetent !i guess I need a Lawyer?
(0)
Report

In agreement with Cmagnum.
The new poster, Cazz1973 needs to start a new question.
Because, not many are going to read through a thread 8 years old and after that feel like answering such a long post-it is actually confusing.
So, Cazz, will be watching for a new question from you because there are many who would like to help you.

See the blue bar above? Click on: Ask a question.....
(3)
Report

First of all, start your own thread about this.

Secondly, while I can tell you are upset, this is very hard to read given that it is not broken up into paragraphs.

Thirdly, talk with a lawyer and make a personal visit yourself to your father's house.
(1)
Report

Hello, after reading through many of these conversations I felt compelled to share my story. My father is 63. Three years ago he met a woman (55 years old) online while he was managing a business on his own. Three months later, my father suffered a mild heart attack in his home. He was airlifted and taken to the nearest city hospital and was recovered and returned home within a few weeks. I live quite a distance away from him and wanted to go see him with my kids. He told me his lady friend was staying over which I didn't mind as it gave me an opportunity to meet her. She seemed friendly enough upon meeting her and I was happy to see my father happy around her. However, alarm bells began to ring when I caught her looking at houses for sale on the computer. She didn't own her own home at the time and was on stress leave from work, paid for by the government. More alarm bells rang when she proceeded to tell me that she was waiting for my father to ask her to move in. She couldn't be looking for work and helping my father (who was due to have a triple bypass surgery in 3 months) at the same time, she told me. They had known each other for 12 weeks at this stage. I offered to help him out but he told me she had already offered. She ended up moving in with my father and he had his surgery in the city. My brother who lives in the city, went to see him in the hospital and commented how clingy she was with him while he was there. Since the surgery, my father ended up selling his business and retiring. He bought a house for him and her to live in and within 3 weeks, he had a stroke. I didn't get news of the stroke from her until much later that day, but made plans immediately to go and see him in hospital. While my father was in hospital she rang my brother and grandmother and told them both that she didn't have any money. Within minutes of arriving at the hospital (10 hour drive away), she came into his room acting overly anxious. I asked to speak to her outside his room as it was making me feel uncomfortable. She then tells me "not to take her house away from her" and "your father wants me in his will". I thought these were very strange responses especially when my father just had a stroke! I was polite though and told her that it wasn't my intention. My father had made me POA prior to him meeting her and I was there to help. Still she kept a very close eye on me and never left my father's side, let alone give us any time alone together. The whole time I was there, I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with her. I guess those comments she made to me in the hospital sent more alarms bell ringing. Anyway fast forward a couple of months and my father enters rehab for his stroke. My grandmother (his mother) calls me to tell me that my dad had changed his POA and will. He made her POA and put her in the will. I questioned dad's capacity to make big changes so soon after having his stroke but he insisted it was just easier this way. Since rehab, my father has bought 2 more houses and moved twice. Meanwhile, us kids get no contact from him since the stroke. No visits, no phonecalls and not even gifts for the grandkids at Xmas time. When we call, its put on loudspeaker and she listens in and comments when she wants to. Around Xmas time I question her once in a series of textes about why is it her grandkids get acknowledged and mine don't when Dad cant do these things for himself? She kept blaming my father for being stubborn and tight with his money. I reminded her of an earlier conversation where she promised she would help get dad reconnected with his family. But she tells me he doesn't want to go anywhere. Since the phone call she has blocked my phone number and all contact with my father. My brother is told a whole bunch of lies about me which included the conversation in the hospital and telling my brother that I am just after my inheritance (her words) , and that I pulled her out of the hospital room and demanded to know all his account numbers! and to top it off, my father now blames me for splitting him and a previous partner up and said he will never forgive me for. I'm now so confused. I'm being blamed for something I never did and now I have no way of contacting my father to tell him. I don't even know where they live and they aren't giving out their address (she doesn't want me turning up to abuse her she said). All I wanted to do was to send my dad photos of the grand kids but she tells my brother she doesn't want the photos in her house. I've called the elderly abuse hotline regarding this matter but they said if my father is happy then there is really not much they can do. I could apply to have his capacity reassessed but I know that that is just going to cause any even bigger wedge between my father and I. Other family members are telling me to just let him be. But I know we will never talk again if that is the case. I have always had a close relationship with my dad and know that since the stroke his short term memory is affected and some aspects of his personality has changed. It doesn't help when she publishes images of monkeys and apes with their middle digit up on facebook and instagram, I know these quotes are aimed at us (my brothers and I) and that my father would have no clue of this going on. Pre-stroke, my father would never have let it got to this. He would never have blocked me after a disagreement. Before the stroke, he never disclosed any of his financial details to her and bought the first house in his name. She had access to $10K in an account prior to when dad was in hospital with his stroke. So I don't know why she was worried about having no money. Some things she says just doesn't add up. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
(0)
Report

What you describe sounds to me like something I heard plenty about on the Dr. Phil show. What you're describing sounds much like the cat fishing cases Dr. Phil has handled, and unfortunately this seems to be very common. It sounds to me like you really need to either go for guardianship or somehow get the proper channels involved so they can get the ball rolling in that direction. If you know who this is who took advantage of your mom, you can go after them through the legal system. It all starts by first scouring the records. Find out first who sold her the house, this should be on public record. Anytime someone buys or transfers a home, there are records somewhere
(0)
Report

Can I get guardianship of my dad who has dementia/Alzheimer's if he has a POA and it's someone that has taken advantage of him financially? She is not family. She is an ex from 30 years ago and my dad is married and has been for 16 years.
(2)
Report

My Mother in -Law was moved in the middle of the night to a different state by someone who was supposedly her friend. We now have limited contact. and she will not tell us where she lives. She had two strokes before all of this happened and her decision making ability has been compromised. In addition she inherited a large amount of money and this is the sole reason that she was moved out of state. What can I do who can I turn to for help.
(1)
Report

Is there anyone that has been helped by any outside agency. It seems that these situations are not easily resolved
(0)
Report

Making the perpetrator restore the money is a very good idea, but the main question is what if it's already gone? This will be a whole new battle if the person happens to be unemployed or on some kind of public assistance. Getting guardianship of your love one before this becomes a bigger problem is a very good idea. Doing a background check on the person in question is also a good idea. That way, you'll know if he has a job So his wages can be garnished if needed.
(0)
Report

A year or so into becoming the guardian for my mom a younger man suddenly came on the scene. At the time she was 78 and he was about 60. This guy had done some handyman work for my mother and stepfather and once her heard of the stepfathers death he conveniently showed up to pay his respects. ( I personally think he realized mom was a lonely widow and was hoping for a cash cow) Low and behold he kept coming around.
At first I didn't want to come right out and tell mom he was probably trying to use her but I did drop some hints and of course she poo poo'd my suspicions.
Since I took care of all mom's financials at that point and paid all of her bills I took my POA, closed out her checking and savings account at her old bank and started new accounts in her name at another bank. I felt much safer then because I knew that even if this guy put mom in the car and took her to the bank there would not be any money for her to draw out!
Sure enough I went over one day to visit and check on her and this guys car was in the driveway but when I went in he did not come into the living area. Another words he was hiding somewhere in the house. I asked her where he was and why didn't he come out and visit with me? I could tell she was trying to be evasive.
I keep watching for him and talking to mom and I KNEW he was listening to our conversation. Suddenly she says that she and this guy were thinking they might trade in her car on a newer vehicle and travel around the country!
At that point I said "Mom, you can't trade in your car becaus you signed that over to me 3 months ago" and she said oh yeah I forgot. Then she asked me, "Do I have any money? " And I said mom you know you only get social security and I handle that for you.
After that we talked a while longer and low and behold she never heard from him again! Isn't that strange? They were going to travel the country and then once he hears me talking about her finances and lack of car title he boogies!
Thank God I was already set up and taking care of her before he found out about her husbands death or he would have cleaned her out and left her God knows where.
(1)
Report

1 2 3 4
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.