911 and not expected to survive.

I'm sorry to hear that your dad is so ill. Is he on Hospice? Is he in your home or a LTC facility?

hes in the hospital right now,, I had to call 911 yesterday for him. Just got word his kidneys are shutting down, so its just a matter of time I think.

Oh no, Didgens, I'm sorry! Yesterday you wrote that he was dehydrated -- do you think what happened is related to that? Hopefully they will get things readjusted and stabilize him. I hope you are ok.

Just saw your last note -- can they get your dad on hospice? (We chose a local non-profit hospice rather than the one that was affiliated with the hospital, and found them to be a lot of help.) Do you have family nearby who can help you and your dad?

I can only imagine how frightening this must be for you. I hope you have friends or family to be with you. Please provide an update, when you can.

((((((hugs)))) so sorry about your dad and that the nurses didn't listen to you. I hope you can get some help for him now.

Thinking of you didgens, so sorry, hugs, Bella

thank you all so much. The hospital isn't talking about forcing us out like they did with my mom. and it being a 3 day weekend I don't think much of anything is going to happen other than comfort measures. Hess clearly shutting down, no appetite. I don't believe he will last the week. Im doing ?? so so considering this is my 3rd major loss in a year and a half. Well if you count my beautiful fur baby doggie then 4th. My doggie, then my mom,, then my husband,, now my dad,,, I hate to say this but I know the routine,, I get it,, there isn't any surprise or glomming onto false hope here. My father had a beautiful almost 90 years,, it was just a matter of time after he lost my mom, the love of his life,, before surrendering and joining her I think. so the tears will flow for the loss of my beautiful papa,, but there'll be a smile tucked in there knowing the two of them are together.

Didgens;

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.....again.

Is there a possibility of hospice or palliative care in the hospital?

Again, I'm so sorry about this; be gentle with yourself and come here to let it all out!

thank you Barb,,, that's what we are hoping for. we do have a nursing home on deck that does hospice should they force us out like they did my mom, but if his kidneys have shut down then I'd be surprised if he makes it through the weekend.

Awwwwww, so, so very sorry about this.

So sorry to hear your news.
(((Hugs))). Hang in there....

Didgens, I am so sorry. It's all in god's hands now. I hope you can spend time with him as he is crossing over. I am sorry that you have lost so much. It is hard to understand how life can go at times. Please let us know what is happening. ((((Hugs))))

Didgens, I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to your dad. Please know you're in our thoughts. Hang in there and come back to talk, vent, cry or scream if you need to. We'll listen.

Thank you all so much,,, it means the world

I remember one night being in the hospital with my mom who was not expected to survive sepsis. The only thing that kept me sane were posts from folks in different time zones, giving me good questions to ask the docs, encouragement and reminders that I needed to drink water.

We'll stick with you!

THANK YOU !

Hi Didgens, I'm so sorry to hear how things are going for you this evening. Will be thinking of you and your dad.

Didgens, so sorry.............:(

Hugs and prayers Didgens. I am so sorry you and your Dad are going through this.

Didgens, some hospitals have a palliative care floor. Does this one? Or as you have already guessed, nothing will happen over the 3 day weekend. Sending good vibes your way. You might also call or ask if pastoral care department can make a visit. They can often guide you through this oh so difficult time.

Didgens, I am so sorry to read about your dad. Going through hospice with mom now myself. Though mom looks as if she will be around yet for awhile. Thinking of you and your dad.

didgens -wondering how your dad is and how you are this morning.

Didgens, one thing I learned from the forum is when a parent is on their final days, tell them it is ok to go. I did that with my Dad, told him not to worry about me because he taught me so much, especially how to identify every tool in the toolbox and how to use them. And a few hours later he passed, but he waited until I was out of the room.

Then I knew he was back with my Mom, his love of his life. I remember the caregiver said that my Dad kept calling out my Mom's name and reaching up for her. So it was time. My Dad also had a fascinating 95 years, so no regrets.

Freqflyer is right, Didgens. It's important to let your Dad know that it's ok to go - tell him you love him and will miss him very much - but that you'll be ok and it's ok for him to go. You'd be amazed how many stories we hear of the loved one waiting and holding on until someone tells them it's ok to let go.

I did this for both of my parents and my grandmother. My grandmother passed 2 minutes after my mother got there to tell her it was ok to go - she was in end stage breathing for nearly an hour before that. She was just waiting for one of her daughters to tell her it was ok. We had to have the conversation with dad while he was in a brief lucid moment, as he was very sick with sepsis and kidney failure. We told him the plan was to move him to another hospital where he could become more nutritionally stable and receive dialysis every single day - but that it meant a very hard fight for him. We asked him if he wanted to stay and fight, or if he just wanted to let go -
and told him we'd be ok with either decision. He said he didn't know...then said he wanted to stay...but passed away a few hours later. With Mom, I didn't get much chance, because she collapsed suddenly at the NH and was on life support by the time I saw her when they brought her out of her room and took her to the hospital. I did tell her it was ok to go, but I honestly think by that time, she was already gone. That's been a hard one for me to accept, because I always thought I'd be there for her when she passed - but that decision was taken out of my hands.

Just be there with him. Talk to him, tell him you love him and that if he feels he needs to go, it's ok. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but also very important.

Did gets, Gosh I so sorry that that your Dad and you, are going through such a rough time. I'm sending you my thoughts and prayers, that God do the right thing, and that your Dad doesn't suffer.

I'm so sorry you have been through so much loss of late, I too lost 3 parents in only 14 months, and then took over the care of my FIL after that, so I can relate a bit, to what you've been going through.

I also agree with those suggesting that you tell him it's OK to go. It sounds like he has been an Amazing Father, and you are lucky to have had him!

It's so hard losing our Loved Ones, and I guess there is some sort of life lesson, though I am hard pressed to find it, when our loss is stacked one right after the other, but it often seems to go that way, doesn't it? You Remember to Take Care of YOU! God Bless!

Still thinking of you and your dad didgens...
Big gentle hug for you both ❤️️

Yes I spent 7 hours with him yesterday ,, he did open his eye and move his arms ,, I held his hand I believe he shed a tear,, I told him a million times how much I loved him, but that it was time to go find mama. That I know hes been missing her terribly and it was time for me to give him to her. I offered gentle kisses and held his hand.. Leaving to go over to the hospital now but my cousin said this morning he wasn't responsive much ,, so I will see ,, he may have moved into the "active dying phase" ( some of you know what this term means) at which point after watching my husband go through it, there is not much reaction to any presence. I hope that is the case,,, and my telling him its ok to go,, that I will see him later and to save me a place has helped. All the family members have visited and said their good byes ,, so there is nothing holding him back except biology at this point. Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes..

Didgens, may God bless your Dad and all of his caregivers. Sending good wishes

(((((((hugs)))))) and blessings to you and your dad.