It's 5:00 on Friday...(my time zone anyway).

I called my 4 yr old GD the other night. Daddy asked her if she wants to talk to Gramma. Her answer..."tell Gramma, that I LIKE her and I LOVE her but I DON"T wanna TALK to her!" Then she grabbed his phone from him, ran to his room, threw it in, and slammed the door and sat back down to watch Dora.
She is the worlds cutest BRAT!

WHAT SEX ARE THEY?


ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its
tongue hanging out.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm up.

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over
inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go
anywhere you have to light a fire under it ... and, of
course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and
squeezable and retain water.

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to
 pick people up.

HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight
shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over
 the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around

REMOTE CONTROL - female ! .... Ha! You thought I'd
 say male. But consider, it gives men pleasure, he'd
be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the
right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Hard of Hearing

A man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you."
He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for dinner, honey?"
Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question.
Still no reply, so he moved to five feet.
Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?"
She turned around and yelled in his face, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old goat!

Nancy My Mom (Very hard of hearing, even with aids) LHAO when I told her this one. Thanks for the best part of our day!

Happy Friday Y'all. The heat is unbearable in N.Y this week. Hope everybody is staying cool. It has been a good excuse for me to be lazy. Cold cuts or salads for dinners, all appointments cancelled. I just have to keep up the watering....everything else can wait! Even laundry! Wooo Hooo!

Hey Boni, happy Friday! I'm up in MA and it's been hot as hell all week here too...big salads every night, and I couldn't even muster the energy to do that tonight so we had grinders delivered. Right now I'm stretched out on the sofa with a fan blowing on me and a tall glass of ice water beside me. Don't want to move again for the rest of the night!

Well....I might get up for ice cream.

Can (90+ heat) + (70+ humidity) + (hot flash) = spontaneous combustion?

Ha! Yaya! Yes, I do believe it can! Quick! Get the Hagendaz! It's the only thing that can save you!

I just skyped with my Grand daughter(4) in Indiana! The 20 minutes a week I can talk to her are the best! She is beautiful, funny and the biggest BRAT you will ever meet! I showed her my chocolate donuts and she will drive her Daddy crazy all night asking for one. "We don't have any" "Yes we do Daddy! In the computer with Gramma!" Knowing my son, he's on his way to 7-11 to get her what she wants! LOL!

Grand kids are the best aren't they? We get to have fun with them and none (or almost none) of the headaches. My youngest GC just turned 2 in March - my son told me the other day that he had to perform his first "foreign body up the nose extraction"...poor little guy had stuffed a Kix (cereal) up there. Fortunately it had soaked a while in milk first so it was soggy...made it a little easier to get out!

LOL! They are Gods greatest gift!

Alright, can't let you guys have all the fun by yourselves over here, so here's my contribution to Friday Funnies-
-------------------
An elderly couple died in an unfortunate accident, but found themselves suddenly in heaven. They met Saint Peter, who began giving them a tour.
"Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts. The swimming pool is that way, and you'll find four golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area and an angel will be glad to mix your favorite cocktail."

"Jeez Gertrude," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't forced me to stop smoking, and made us eat all that oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat food!"
------------------
So here's to living for today, loving life today, and eating Haagen-Dazs in this heat wave! I live in Chicago and our hot weather is, thankfully, supposed to be breaking tonight.

HaHa Alison!! I'm gonna have to tell my husband that one! Since his by-pass surgery he's had to quit smoking (3 years smoke free - I am SO proud of him!) and give up salt. I think he actually misses the salt more. Switch out one of those golf courses for a huge buffet filled with platters of bacon and corned beef and meatball grinders and pepperoni pizza and he'd be a very happy man!!

Saw this on FB and it made me giggle...cuz the little girl in me that used to love to play in the tub is still there...and after half a bottle of wine the grown up me would SO do this!
"Taking a bath while drunk is fun. It makes me feel like I'm a pirate sailing the high seas. And nobody f***s with pirates....
...NObody."

Happy Friday Y'all. Yesterday was my 28th annual 29th Birthday and we had a wonderful night at a restaurant on the water. Mom, of course, flirted with every waiter she talked to....that's my Momma. When she was using her walker to leave, I was behind her, guiding her. We came to a step-down and a man went in front of her to help. She said...."I don't really need this, I just use it to get attention from handsome strangers" LOL! It was my BROTHER!!!!! Hope Y'all had a good week and have a good weekend to come!

A duck waddles cautiously up to the edge of a country road. It's open farmland so the road stretches out a country mile in both directions. The duck looks left....no cars in sight. He looks right....clear as far as the eye can see. Feeling confident he's safe, he starts to make his way across until a sudden rustling in the grass on the other side makes him freeze in his tracks. A chicken emerges from the grass, flapping it's wings and squawking wildly....
"Broawk!!" it screams. "Don't do it!!!! Trust me, you'll NEVER live it down!!!"

Happy 57th ( I think) biirthday, BoniChak!!!

Happy Bday Bonichak!

They won't let me put the whole link in here, but if you want to LYAO, search this. It's a compilation of Old people trying to use facebook. Definitely worth the effort!!

Yes Friday! Hooray for football season....My Patriots are gonna kick some Buccaneers butt tonight!

How about watching a baby sing along with Elvis at 5PM on Friday Aug. 16th. It's a HOOT. Sure beats discussing 'senior' activities for a bit. Hope the link plays.

We have had the most GLORIOUS weather here on Long Island all week. It has been great to get out of the house, even if it's only the back yard. The tomatoes and peppers are slow to grow this season, so I'm hoping for an Indian Summer. Great weather makes for great moods! So does beer. ;)

I saw that baby on FB. 'Hi Daddy" That was great!

Beer?...Ok, I'll have one! Hey Boni, happy Friday! I did find that web page about old people on FB - hilarious! We've had great weather up here in central MA too...cool comfortable nights, warm sunny days. Just wish summer could last longer.
That baby was adorable!! Think Daddy's got a star in the making!
Asssand - Go Pats!

Got out of the house the other night...saw a movie with an awesome friend........"We're the Millers"...........hysterical! It felt GREAT to laugh.....and laugh I did.....a lot! :)

Talked to my son in Indiana tonight. His 4 yr old Daughter (my heart) went with her Mom to an appointment, and was playing with the toys in the kids corner. She cleaned them up before she left, grabbed Mom's hand and started walking away. She says to Mommy......" I THINK there is a pink bunny in my pocket.". Mom marched her back......and I can't stop laughing.

The old people on fb made me laugh hard, thank you! The baby singing was super cute... awwwww... I don't watch football so I'll be a Pats fan for tonight, hope your team wins, assa.

My contribution to Friday Funnies:

Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.
One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
An eighty year old woman says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The ninety year old woman says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" asked the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."


A snapshot of our futures? Lol, just hope we got some nice caregivers. (((HUGS)))

Oops, I broke the mandate of talking about anything OTHER than caregiving, lol! Its hard to remember that other world out there exists! I found it so funny, though, that after reading about the old people on fb, I surfed my way from there into half a dozen other entertainment sites (think "names of Jennifer Aniston's past boyfriends," "Gwyneth Paltrow's food witticisms," "Beyonce has a new haircut," ad nauseum, lol) For me, it was like, "oh, ok, thats what 'the world' is doing, back to the grind." ;D

Happy Friday, guys, hope everyone has a great weekend.

Old people jokes are the best for us! It helps us see the humor in our own lives, sometimes. That was great Ali!

Here's a few FB witticisms I giggled over...

"My degree of sarcasm depends upon your degree of stupidity."

"Remember when we were young and couldn't wait to grow up so we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted? How's that workin' for ya?"

"Singing along with a song you don't know? Don't worry...the 15 seconds you DO know is coming up,and when it does you're gonna OWN that s**t!"

The last one is so me...I do that all the time!

I missed out on Friday, but am declaring early happy hour today. Have my Woodford Reserve bourbon (we visited the Distillery in May while visiting son and daughter-in-law in Lexington) with Ginger Ale and Lemon. Was out by the water today and the Dolphin were feeding right up near the dock and seawall. A man and his young son were kayaking a ways off and I could here the boy shouting joyfully "Dad... this is better than Seaworld!!!" You bet it is! This is where I have to come to do my laundry in an old barn as our little place down the street has no place for washer and dryer. This is where I find solitude, peace, enjoy the most beautiful sunsets and can sit on the seawall and release all the tears I want!