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I can tell you feel most badly about the ruined golf shirts. Make a nice gesture and go sit at the computer and order more golf shirts online :-) When the mailman arrives, your husband will be surprised and eternally grateful. Then it is time for a laundry lesson. First, READ all labels. Maybe put a big red "X" on the bleach spray so it is clearly obvious this is harmful to clothes BLEACH spray. Smile and THANK him for being so kind and helping you during this difficult time. If you are able, go out for a romantic candle lit date night dinner !! I hope you feel better soon and KEEP your resolution to not go back to doing everything once your foot heals. ENJOY life and best wishes for finding the perfect easy care retirement home that you can both enjoy maintenance free but with that big garage "man-space" !!!
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All I know is life has thrown enough curve balls by 60, I can't even imagine how difficult it will be at 80, 90, 100.
Or actually yes I can, and it brings to mind the statement "getting old isn't for sissies"!
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I think that as annoyed as I have been by this broken ankle thing--I have learned a lot and will hopefully take it with me, going forwards. I've been very humbled when having to ASK someone to help--I'M the helper! Accepting service graciously has never been a strong point for me. I'd much rather GIVE.

My DH and I will celebrate our 45th anniversary on the 27th. As in any marriage, we've had ups and downs and tried to ride out both. Long term marriage is not for the faint of heart--we're always going to struggle with certain things, simply b/c we're such different people, but that isn't bad.

My patience at being 'bedridden' has reached its limit, but I think I will have 1-2 more weeks being 'down' I have to find some projects, for sure. I'm very grateful I was NEVER unable to take myself to the bathroom, shower and do quite a lot, even though I'm out of commission. I hope I have been kind to DH, even on the days he's been incredibly annoying/thoughtless.

BTW--before I had surgery, I arranged for someone else to take mom to Bingo. There was no way I was going to all that persuading to get her to GO and then dump her off with no way to get there. Whether I go back to taking her or not is undecided. It's the ONLY socialization she has in a whole week and I think it's important she keep it up. We're masking up around here again, and if they close the Sr Center again--oh, man, that would be awful.

As far as moving---Well, we've basically 'sold' this place and we need to make this change while we can navigate all the stairs and such. Being on a knee scooter has been a challenge. I'm going to have to have all the baseboards repainted, I've smacked them all. DH has commented more than once we could not have a wheelchair in here. So, all this has been a steep learning curve for him.

Funny to me--after dinner last night DH went into the garage and was messing around with organizing stuff. I asked him why? as he will not be using it, really, until he retires, and even then, it's just not what he does. I suggested he clean it out and donate/throw away many of the tools that he's owned for 40+ years and he simply won't need them. He looked at me and said "we aren't moving for 6 months!" So I replied "But you also aren't RETIRING for 6 months--what do you plan to do in that time?" Oh well, he can do what he wants, in the end, we won't be taking a lot of these tools.
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You've written much to think about, Midkid. I guess we never know what we will be like when we are the patient, or what other people will be like toward us. I'm glad this has been a learning experience for you and that you shared these thoughts here.
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My apologies to your husband for laughing about the bleach spray! Glad to hear things are working out, and improving.

I don’t know where you are, but here “townhouse villa” is a marvelous combination of low maintenance while keeping some separation and independence. No yard care. Most are one-level ramblers so no stairs. But no walls adjoining neighbors, and you would have a garage.
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Sooo glad to hear that your hubby has stepped up, Mid.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

You’re a blessing round here.
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Thanks for the comments.

Yeah--DH has been remarkably helpful. Doing the things that are basic to a life, not being a superman, by any means, but b/c all these chores are outside his wheelhouse, he really struggles. BUT--he is stepping up and I don't know if one of the girls chewed him out or what, and I don't care--but it is nice for him to actually TRY.

The bleached shirts---I'd laugh if they had been old ratty ones, but they were ALL brand new, expensive Land's End polo shirts and they are totally ruined. 4 so far and I think he tossed a couple out that I didn't see.

AH well!

I know a big part of his helpfulness is that he REALLY hates doing 'my work' and wants me to heal so he can go back to working and having meals on the table. And the laundry....

I see the doc on Wed and as much as I want to graduate to a 'shoe' and beginning gently to do PT, I really think he will keep me in the boot another week.

We'll find a home next Spring. It will work out. We have a buyer for our home and so we have that 'luxury' of time.

Maybe I should be grateful for this...I know he does feel badly about how little he helped when I did chemo. He is just making this up to me.
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Midkid58, thanks for the update. I have one of those DH [sig-other] who was not user friendly back a decade ago when I had cancer. He was down right angry with me, like I had choosen to get this disease to mess up HIS life.

Like your hubby, magically over time he started to change. Maybe this comes with age. We tend to depend on each other more. And we joke about our old age issues.

I've also learned before speaking "is this subject really worth an argument?" Like today when I found the candy sprinkles that had fallen off of candy while being eaten standing in the dining room, now decorating the dining room floor. I quickly made a joke about us having to eat that candy outside. Before I knew it, he was bringing out the vacuum.

What is it with food attaching itself to our shirts??? Oh my gosh, the chocolate stains. I think we will need to start eating over the sink or I need to order those king size bibs [do they come with lobster tails on them?].

Sig-other also found out the wonders of using breach. I have to keep those products away from him. One day he sprayed his bathroom and used a dark towel to wipe it down. Oops.

We also don't agree on our next more senior friendly home. I think that may be norm in most cases. My folks didn't agree, either.

Keeping my fingers crossed that you will be walking with ease before too long.
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Midkid
Thanks for the update. I know it’s not funny but I had to smile at the image of DH with the bleach marks running down his tummy frying up those hamburgers. I’m thinking your kids can’t image your being disabled to the degree that you need their help. They are very wise to get dad off the bench.
My MIL, who had dementia, used her boot to throw at whatever got on her nerves. Nagging daughter. Barking dog. I didn’t realize it was so heavy. I never saw it on her foot but she didn’t have surgery.
I guess your mom is missing her bingo trips.
I’m glad you are doing so well. You sound in very good spirits.
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🦋 continued healing.

I have also been humbled being part of my moms journey.

Having my own health issues in my late 30s and 40s began the start of my new outlook - (still learning). We cannot do it all and life is nicer when we do it together :)

I am happy to hear that you will be less stress and even kinder and easier on yourself going forward 💕
Extra healing coming your way.
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I am in a 4 story split level. Ground floor is bath, laundry and family room. Entry level is living room, kitchen and dining area. Next level is my Den, bath and bedroom. If I was ill I would stay on this level. Next level is 2 bedrooms.

I am 72 and retired 10 yrs ago. I keep things tidy (have a tidy DH) but don't do too much deep cleaning anymore. I have no animals and that helps. My house gets cleaned really good if company is coming. I don't push myself. DH is 74 and he doesn't push like he used to. I also have gas heat and I don't get the dust. I use Swiffers all the time.

I hope u can get that boot off. But don't let husband fall back into his old routine. My husband was independent before we married. He has washed his own clothes for 40 years. He just got himself lunch.
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Midkid, I think there have been a couple of silver linings in this experience!!
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