Follow
Share

My sister came over yesterday and stayed overnight in the camper with the monitor. My mom didn't get up once last night. They helped me immensely with the cleaning chores, and I was able to get things done I was ignoring. I got a good nights sleep and I feel much better. I had a talk with my mom and told her I have to do things she doesn't like to keep her safe. She told me she understands I have to assist her. My sister helped me get her up in the morning, mom yelled at her as well. My mom said I'm not hurting her, it's just that it irritates her. I think it's frustration about her not being able to do anything. She is used to being independent, and this is a big change. I'm glad I talked to her, also very grateful for my sister and BIL. I feel rejuvinated and realize I still have some gas left in the tank. This forum has also helped me immensely. Thank you all for your thoughts, seems like we're all in this together. Be grateful for the good days and realize there will be bad days as well.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Thank you all so much for your insights. I'll have to see if PT can help me Wednesday. I can't make a decision on hospice care until I include my mom and the rest of the family. It wouldn't be fair to everyone else, and I can't make this decision on my own. I did talk to her PCP about it, I think she will put the order in when we are ready. I will be on a bumpy ride until Wednesday. All I can do is put my head down and do my best.
(1)
Report

Hospice is a great idea.

My mother is on the first step of Hospice Services, which is Palliative Care.

A bath aide comes twice a week.

The Hospice nurse checks on Mom one or even more times per week, depending on Mom’s needs.

The added bonus is that these ladies act as another set of eyes, as well as at list 3 “visitors” for my mother.

Best wishes to you!
(1)
Report

Thanks all. I was able to get her into her chair this morning. Couldn't get her on her commode, so we had to resort to a bedpan. We thought we had a chance to get her in the shower, she perked up earlier, then it all fell apart. Somehow, I remain to stay positive. I'm learning to let it go, if she can't get up, then use a bedpan and try again later. I'm going to ask her Dr about hospice care again. Mom is heading downhill faster than I expected (or wanted). Best I can do is keep her as comfortable as possible. She told us last night she was ready to see my dad again. I want to remember her in a positive light, not as a burden, and not in any pain.
(1)
Report

Good for you feeling better. A little bit of help can go a long way. Bring in some hired caregivers to help with your mother. Let them take some of the complaining and burden that's on you.
Your mother is probably embarrassed that you have to do everything for her and maybe this is why she's so mean to you and complains so much. A person often behaves differently with hired help.
(0)
Report

I'm happy for your refreshment! I'm wondering if you've ever had her medically assessed for cognitive/memory impairment by her doctor? Her yelling at people right away in the morning is something my 99-yr old aunt with dementia does. I think it would help you and your siblings make future decisions if you had as much accurate info as possible regarding your mom. Blessings!
(0)
Report

It's amazing what a good nights sleep and some help from others can do to rejuvenate our souls isn't it? Here's hoping you have more good days than bad.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter