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"lealonnie1,"

"There are bad PRIVATE HOMES out there too, where the sons and daughters are screaming bloody murder at their mother all day long, and leaving her alone like a dog in the bed, maybe not even feeding her or changing her soiled brief all day long!"

"We read lots & LOTS of posts here about angry sons & daughters full of resentment over giving up their lives for their parent(s) care. Who knows WHAT is going on in those homes; who's looking out for the elder THERE? Nobody."

That made me cry!
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I can send you copy/pasted posts Alva, unfortunately.
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I mention it b/c my cousin was 'caring' for her mother at home by leaving her in the bed alone all day. She called me & my DH one day to say her mom was dying & to come say our goodbyes. We did; she seemed to really BE dying. For some reason *I forget why now* my cousin placed her in The Dreaded Nursing Home because she didn't die after all, and she RALLIED, and went on to live 3+ more years in the SNF on Medicaid! True story.
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Very good points. Lots of dysfunctional home and family situations are described on this forum, but get a pass I guess because “it’s family”.

I am a home caregiver and I know how hard it is, even with a great sibling to share the care with equally and a wonderful non-abusive parent without dementia.

Someone who has reached their limit or who knows a particular caregiving situation is not sustainable gets applause from me, not scolding.
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I have to be missing something? I haven't seen caregivers getting bashed of late.
I sure do agree with you, Lealonnie. For me your first paragraph says it all and says it perfectly. For myself I don't feel beholden to others to explain why I can't do 24/7 caregiving in the home for anyone. If I choose to make any explanation, it is only to say "I know my limitations, and my limitations are great and very many; I could never be capable of in home 24/7 care."
Along with some others I am first in encouraging people not to give their lives up to this care. We all know how guilty some feel when they come to us on Forum. But ultimately I just tell people "You are the only one who can make this decision".
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Excellent advice and comment, lealonnie. I am glad you posted this.
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