Oh goodness. So hospice aide called me. Mom's hands and feet are mottled. And I know what that means. I also know it can fluctuate.
She may be having a rally. Actually got out of bed, with great assistance and sat in chair. Spoon fed and ate 50 percent of meal.
Hospice also put her on scopolomine to increase secretions, in this case, swallowing.
Her vital signs do not yet show active phase of dying. I am sorry if this graphic description upsets anyone, but in my view, it helps with expectations. So take in that vein.
We could not be more pleased with our hospice choice. They are so caring and so tender with our mom. And we are thankful.
Kennedy Terminal Ulcer: the "Ah-Ha!" Moment and Diagnosis
Authors
Joy E. Schank
Keywords
Pressure Ulcerend-of-life careKennedy Terminal Ulcer
Issue: Volume 55 - Issue 9 - September, 2009
Abstract
The Kennedy Terminal Ulcer is an unavoidable skin breakdown or skin failure that occurs as part of the dying process. Research is limited but the literature suggests that Kennedy Terminal Ulcers are typically pear-shaped, red/yellow/black, similar in appearance to an abrasion, and tend to occur suddenly in the sacral/coccygeal region not long before death. In this case study, one resident of a long-term care facility suddenly developed a full-thickness ulcer. The ulcer did not respond to treatment and the resident died 6 weeks following ulcer development. Another resident, admitted with a full-thickness ulcer, also did not respond to standard measures of care and general skin failure was observed. She died after 5 months. Research about end-of-life phenomena such as skin failure is needed to help clinicians, caregivers, and patients understand what is occurring and facilitate the provision of optimal and appropriate end-of-life care.
Hospice is pretty matter of fact about this.
Communication got sketchy. Faded out.
Yes it dries up everything. The scop.
Mottled skin means her extremities are probably cold to the touch. Keep her warm both physically and emotionally, Seg. Her end is near. Peace.
This is exactly what my mom’s hospice nurse told me.
I lived 4 hours away. Mom’s hospice nurse called me @ 8am to let me know that the nurse thought her time was near because her lower extremities began to mottle. I was there by 3pm; she passed 12 hours later @ 3am.
While I know this is hard, I am hoping you have made arrangements for her to be transported to a funeral home. We had mom’s funeral pre paid.
Spend these last days speaking to her, tell her you love her and that it is ok to go. I did on my mother’s last day, and thanked her for being the wonderful mother she was.
There is something divine about the dying process. For me it felt like a connection to the universe or to God if you believe. Some deaths are not as peaceful; thank heavens you and your family made the decision to bring in hospice to provide your mother with a peaceful death.
Those days were hard, seeing my mother failing, knowing death was imminent. I myself felt relieved when my mother had passed - her suffering was over. She was with my dad and all her brothers & sisters (she was one of 11). She was whole again.
My Mom was in a room by herself at the end. The NH staff let me stay with her & just kept her door shut. Don’t be surprised if your mother passes when you stepped out or fell asleep. My mom passed while I was asleep in the empty bed next to her. I fell asleep listening to her labored breathing (not gasping, just agonal breaths). I woke up immediately when that noise ceased, looked over and she was gone. She chose when to go and didn’t want me to see it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
The end stages can go on for a bit, so be sure to rely on the Nurses if you have any questions as they are phenomenal at what they do. I hope you are getting some rest, and are taking advantage of others offerings of their time, running errands and food stuff, your being able to get out for an hour or 2 now and then is so important for your own health. Hospice can get you a volunteer to sit with your Mom so you can get a little ME time once and a while, as it is exhausting work caring for your LO at this stage.
Again, I am So sorry, I am sure that it is her time to go, it is difficult when you are agonizing over the long goodbye. I pray that your Mom is pain free and is resting peacefully. Remember to take care of yourself! HUGS!
Be well and be strong, my friend. (((((hugs))))))
The scopolomine formulated for end stage dementia is not same, for example as that used in treatment of ALS.
There's other stuff thrown in there so they shouldn't call it that, but they do. It is designed to increase secretions and offset death rattle. I wish I did not know this. Alas I do.
That part of our family is part mule, frankly. God love her, she is not going out with a whimper.
Although this is kinda black humor, you take it where you find it. Ok mom. You do you. And I am your champion all the way.
The emotional support I got was just as important as the support I got for my Husband.
Hold her hand
Tell her you love her but...
Let her know you will be all right.
((Hugs))
May her passing be peaceful and may The Lord give all of you strength and grieving mercies during this time.
I want her released from this prison. I want her at peace.
I'm so sorry you're going through this; glad hospice is wonderful.