Dr. Mary Languirand, PhD
Licensed Psychologist and Author
Mary A. Languirand, PhD, is in private practice in Garden City, NY, and counsels individuals, families, and health professionals in skilled nursing facilities. She co-authored (with Robert Bornstein, PhD) "When Someone You Love Needs Nursing Home, Assisted Living, or In-Home Care."
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How do I convince my mom she needs to see a professional about her depression? Its been over a year since it s...
Your mother’s primary care physician may be able to help begin the process by referring her to an area professional experienced in working with older adults. For many people, the knowledge that a trusted doctor recommends a treatment can go a long way towards making it OK (even if they’re secretly skeptical). However, getting her to follow through may fall on you.
Resistance to mental health treatment tends to fall into two categories: worries about stigma and cost. Stigma is pretty easy to address--there’s no shame in illness. Depression is an illness, and a very treatable one. Psychotherapy is among the tools best suited to treat it, and it’s smart to use what works. You might want to remind your mother of the many prominent people who have sought treatment successfully and shared their experiences—such as Mike Wallace, Tipper Gore, and Oprah Winfrey. Worries about cost can usually be addressed with calls to the insurance companies and the provider’s office; if the provider participates in Medicare, about half the cost will be covered, and secondary insurance often picks up much of the balance.
Knowing what to expect may be reassuring. The typical initial interview is a lot like any other first visit with a health professional—it’s a conversation intended to gather history about the individual, to find out what she’s thinking and feeling. Mental health professionals tend to be excellent interviewers, and quite skilled at putting people at ease. They do ask very personal questions about sensitive topics, but they’re good at making it safe. They’re also legally bound by laws and rules that require them to protect their patients’ privacy and dignity. The provider will gather information and make suggestions about interventions that might be helpful, but the patient is the one who decides whether or not to participate—which can be a very empowering realization.
You want your mother to feel better because you care about her--that may be the most powerful persuasion of all. see more