Bobbi was the in-home caregiver for her mentally and physically ill father-in-law, Rodger, for seven years. Issues they dealt with included Parkinson’s disease, schizophrenia, heart disease, dementia and severe dysphagia. She wrote the book "Confessions of an Imperfect Caregiver" and also blogs about the realities of caring for a loved one.

Answers

Question

How to suppress my grandpa's ridiculously high sex drive?


I agree with those who say speak with is doctors about this. Dementia affects people in different ways and hyper sexuality is not uncommon.... see more

Question

Is clinginess with dementia normal?


The coloring book is a great idea. Also try giving her a job to do. Folding towels and washcloths works well becasue you can unfold them... see more

Question

How do I handle the comment "I wish I'd die and get out of this world"?


It's easy to understand why some feel he is manipulating you. I certainly felt that way when my loved one said the same thing. It was... see more

Question

Anyone else feel guilty?


Guilt is almost a given for caregivers. We do our best at a job that is so hard for people who's needs change at a moments notice. I... see more

Question

Death of loved one. How to transitioning from caregiving?


So sorry for your loss. You are probably feeling not only the loss of your father but the loss of your place in the world as his daughter... see more

Question

My mum (96) makes growling noises has anyone else come across this? It is horrible.


Yes, please don't worry about it. It's an easy way to verbalize and it doesn't mean she is unhappy. If she has trouble speaking... see more

Question

My MIL (82) lives alone, gets meals delivered, is depressed and isolated, not ready to consider assisted livin...


Perhaps a visit from a service dog will give her something to look forward to. Orgnizations such as Paws4People and others like them make... see more

Question

Dad's going to do whatever he wants to do despite what anyone tells him. Any advice?


When my FIL behaved that way, and he also had dementia and Parkinson's, I would walk away for a few minutes then go to him and ask him... see more

Question

My 83 year old mom won't eat food! What to do?


Give her milkshakes, real ones if she will drink them. Give her whatever she wants and don't press her to eat. Her body is telling her... see more

Question

What can I do to help stimulate a person with Dementia especially if they fight you on it?


Give him something meaningful to do. It can be as easy as folding towels. My father-in-law would do that for long periods of time. He also... see more

Question

What has been your experience when a loved one returns from respite care?


I used respite care through the VA hospital for my father-in-law. It was a blessing and I used it to take a vacation once, and for long... see more

Question

Any advice if you have experience brushing someone else's teeth?


I found that a very soft toothbrush and a small amount of warm water worked best. I called it his morning dental massage. The first time I... see more

Question

Sibling accusing me of overmedicating Mom. Any advice?


As her primary caregiver it must be hard to be questioned. All the above suggestions are good. I don't think I can add anything new. I... see more

Question

Are there any caregivers of spouses among this group?


Your VA hospital may have a respite program. When caring for my father-in-law for seven years they allowed us to check him in to the... see more

Question

I am married but have no support system. Any advice?


I fewl for you. You are in a very difficult spot. I also feel for your wife and grandma. Your wife is probably feeling overwhelmed. She... see more

Question

Has your elder parent developed into a "terror"?


Yes, the one who does the caregiving gets the brunt of the anger. It's not fair but it is true. I try to think of it in the same vein... see more

Question

Mom is reliving Dad's recent death everyday. What can I do?


As hard as it is, the only thing we can do is be in the moment with our loved ones. It is as real to them as ours is to us. When my lvoed... see more

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