6 Signs of Caregiver Burnout

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im burned out. im dealing with my 97 year old grandmother at the facility shes at. shes worried about the house all the time. she is getting angry about ppl digging into her money which she saved up every penny from her days as a teacher. I broke down yesterday maybe im doing too much. since she's been in the hospital/facility Im at the house cleaning, throwing out tons of garbage donating clothes since she bought a million things off QVC. As for me I have gone backwards I was eating clean since im so busy taking care of stuff I just eat bad some days I don't eat, I quit smoking and went back to that. some nights I sleep pretty horrible and have not been to the gym besides me working my full time job I did photography and put that on the back burner since it happened. I know the facility is doing all they can im doing all I can its just been tough
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Just stumbled upon this site about an hour ago. I'm 38 and POA for my 81 yr old grandma with dementia. I can completely empathize with the burnout thing....EVERYDAY, it's another task on the "to-do" list. I can knock 10 things off "the list" a day and consider myself lucky to even get a thank you. Then, it's complaints about the way I did the things she wanted me to do or I'm being cheap on the house repairs, etc. She has no idea about the concept of money or that she just had me spend $28,000 on household repairs in 4 months.

It's tough, especially when she treats you like a slave no matter what you do, constantly trying to demean you only because she is old and in pain. Then you get the silent treatment tactics as she reverts back to a 5 yr old because you told her that you have your own life and that you have to prioritize her list, focusing on those tasks which have the most benefit for her house, not redecorating the rooms every other week.

All you I can do is give her some time to calm down but it is very tough, you know, getting treated like a doormat when you are the ONLY one she has to help her get these things taken care of. What is the saying, "we hurt those that we love" or something like that.....well, it's true.

I just ask the Lord for strength and keep marching forward.
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Good day, this morning I found myself "frustrated" to answer the phone and to hear my mom's voice. All she was doing was asking me where I was (which is a 24/hr question). I explained that I was finishing up some work at home and that I'd be with her shortly. She's so demanding, pretentious when O.T. or P.T. come to her home. When they leave she refuses to take her meds, etc. I guess the realization today is that I'm starting to RESENT the situation. It's really not her fault I'm just feeling spent.
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Christian woman 60s caring for my mother who is aged and has chronic heart disease. I'm lonely and sad 24/7
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I have burnout...my husband is not supportive of me and that hurts me the most...my husband thinks I'm just making more of it than it is....I try to explain but he either rolls his eyes or he 'tunes me out' and focuses back on tv or his book...how can I make him understand that I have this ??? I would have thought he'd be more supportive since I just cannot seem to function as I used to...any ideas on how I can make him understand and see what I'm really going thru ???
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For PattiK, I wonder if your mom is on medicine that could make her lethargic. I know with my mom and a friend's mom, less was more. When they reduced the amount of medicine they each got, they got more responsive and more engaging with people and interactive, rather than just staring. I'm not a doctor, and can't give medical advice, it's just a thought.
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Okay, mom campaigned hard to go to a nursing home. She made my life hell til she got there. Her physical health, clinical tests all indicated she is very healthy for anyone much less than her 85 years. She is there 2 1/2 months now. My visit with her on Mother's Day she was posed flat on her bed as if in a casket eyes open staring at the ceiling. Rehearsing is my guess. My son's loaded her shelf with flowers and plants and cards. She really doesn't respond.
She refuses to do anything but lay on her bed, meals eaten as she sits on the bed, now, she has a commode by the bed. There is no chair, she doesn't want one. All of my visits find her laying in bed, she doesn't even lift her head to visit, just lays there.
Finally, after years of bring tied to my cell phone, I decided to leave it home when I visited a neighbor for a couple of hours. As soon as we walked back in the door I heard my phone ring. Nursing Supervisor advising me that Mom had fallen unattended. She somehow got up to use the commode and ended up on her back with her legs under the commode. Happy Mother's Day!!!!
I stress and fret about her next "adventure" and I am convinced that she is playing games. She has had 4 falls since January 4 (My deceased Dad's birthday) . Every fall looked staged to me. She claimed she just fell and her heiney landed in the waste basket and she was unable to move. Hmmmm she was no where close to the waste basket. She didn't hurt, couldn't move ... however, when the EMS crew arrived she was lifting her legs up to prove nothing hurt but at the same moment saying she couldn't move. It goes on and on like this.
My patience with normal life with my husband has gone missing. I feel like my head is being crushed in a vice and I just want out.
Where do I go from here?
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I've found that one way to deal with caregiver stress is to find a sense of humor when you can. I've written about this in my book, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." My mom wanted to tell someone that she pounded the pavement looking for a job (as an accountant) after college, but what she said was, "I walked the streets of NY, if you know what I mean." I still smile at that recollection. R. Lynn Barnett
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Just had to move my 92 year old mother in law into long term care, my husband and I are both mentally drained. We continue to get calls from her whining and yelling at us. She cannot possibly live in her home any longer and this past year of having to drive back & forth across town has taken a toll on our marriage.
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My Mom decided she didn't want to deal with it, so she filed for divorce and had him served at their home without him knowing she had been planning on divorcing him. Put the house up for sale immediately after and gave me 2days notice to get him and his stuff out. He's been with me for8 months now and the dementia had progressed rapidly. Sundowning, hallucinating, paranoid, aggressive, mean combative,etc. Had to lock up all knives and sharp things because he thought I was an intruder out to get him and was hiding 2 of my sharpest knives in case he had to slit my throat to get away. He's so scared someone is coming to hurt him. It's constant. Daytime, he's Dr Jekyll... at night he turns into mr. Hyde. It breaks my heart but I'm frustrated exhausted and I've lost total respect for my mother. I don't want to give up on my dad but I don't know how much longer I can keep him safe here because he falls and always lands on his face. I hate that this is happening to him
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