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10 Things You Should Know About Your Parent's Finances

39 Comments

My parents are 81- my Mom was just put into a memory care unit in mid to late stage alzheimers. My Dad has the finances to pay the expensive cost of assisted living for her. We think he just had a minor stroke, tests are currently being conducted and his memory is slipping- in the event of his death everything goes to Mom and she is mentally incapacitated. What does he need to put in place so that we can keep Mom in the AL center in the event he becomes incapacitated or worse passes away first. my brother and I are listed on the will as splitting everything after they pass away. I am afraid if he dies we wont be able to access his IRA, bank or sell the house to keep Mom in the facility.

When one healthy parent is the caregiver of the other who has dementia, what are the financial problems of assisted living costs vs. keeping the home environment and thus having capital left for the healthy spouse when the sick parent has to enter a nursing home?

What do you do when you have a durable power of attorney for a couple with Alzheimer's and no children and you need to corral their spending and cannot with the POA?

It helps to have your financial ducks in a row so that when/if you need your spouse or adult child(ren) to take over the transition isn't a nightmare.

Good points. Loved one just passed.we had none of these answers. Also we had no final instructions and no funds. Not only are we dealing with grief, we were scrambling to make the most appropriate and respectful last decisions. Please have the talk. Have some plan of action. It will help everyone.

Don't depend on Long term care Insurance to pay out when you need it. Like disability insurers they will do their best to find excuses not to pay. If you have the means try and save up six months worth of nursing home expences. that way you can choose the home you are admitted to and self pay till the money runs out. When you have to rely on Medicare you have to accept he first bed available no matter the reputation of the facility. if you already have a bed somewhere Medicare can not make you move which can be very reassuring. The premiums for long term care are very expensive so saving as an alternative should not be too difficult.

i live with my mom . my sister has control of finiances. im lost help me please patrick

A simple way - if you trust the other person, you can have both names on any checkwriting accounts, includes Banks and Financial Institutions. Either person has power to empty out accounts if necessary.

What do you do if your mother refuses to admit she has a problem and if asked about any financial matters she refuses to tell you? She's at the point where she's losing money, literally, but insists that she knows what she's doing and won't allow any of us to help her. She also refuses to go to a doctor or admit that she has any memory problems despite asking the same questions repeatedly, telling the same stories over and over and accusing my brother of stealing from her. All classic signs of dementia from what I've been reading here. I have POA but she has to be declared incompetent before it's in effect and I live 3 hours away from her.

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I have a POA for my mother and the Advance Directive in my name to take care of her - do I need anything else? Also - at what point do I call my attorney/financial advisor about things? Do I even need to do that? I just placed my mother in assisted living after a stroke. I have 2 letters from doctors stating she is unable to make decisions for herself.