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10 Things You Should Know About Your Parent's Finances


I have Durable POA on my father. He refuses to add me or my other siblings on his bank account. The psychiatrist wrote a memo that states he cannot handle finances due to dementia. The credit union refuses to add me, can they do it without his presence? What happens if he passes? How do we sell the house (needs alot of repairs).

My dad's health has taken a turn for the worse unexpectedly. He is in hospital unable to communicate and we are not sure how long to recover. How do we take control of his finances /assets at this stage.

Is it possible to receive a copy of some of your guides by mail, since my printer does not work. It would be appreciated. Thanks, Sam

meals on wheels

Let me also add this. Beware of what lies are told by a parent to other people about the only person who really cares about them. When push comes to shove, the one who really cares will be the one who everyone is calling a abuser. Do you know why, because no other family member has ever stepped up to care for them. So easy for the parent to lie. Please, if you are in a parent child relationship for your own benefit, financially, don't get in this website and complain. I have nothing to gain from my mother, she has nothing but a $50,000 life insurance policy that I will now be paying for and this old kook may live for 20 years. My husband and I will be spending $400 a month minimum and may never recoup this money. I am tempted to cancel the policy, my POA and let the state have her mean self. ReLize this, I have taken care of her drama more years than she has taken care of me.

Don't do a thing, mean parents deserve a mean end. I have been berated, belittled, lied about, put down and stomped upon by my mother who uses me to make herself a victim. Save yourself, check out and let the one she appointed do it.

I think that is a great tip! However, I would like to add that individual states should be considered as well. I filed late this year for TYE 2013 for federal and state for mom and step-father ~ I hold POA for both. I signed returns for both as POA, included copies of POA (highlighting language related to federal and state income taxes) and sent certified mail. Federal refund was received quite promptly. State has still not been received 7 months later.

This topic is vital. People facing dementia of any variety have a whirlwind of issue to face. At a minimum, solid Powers of Attorney should be drafted. Too often I see weak, wrong or outdated POAs in place. That is the first, but not the last concern for Elder Law Estate Planning Attorneys.

Complicated. My father passed away 3 months ago. I was his Medical POA. My sister was Finacial POA of my father and mother and medical POA of my mother. Please note, my father was hospitalized with a terminal illness and my mother was diagnosed with dementia and feels she was forced to sign these papers), I received a tx message at 0303 that my mothers bags were packed and I had to take her to the state I reside.
During the care of my father, his wishes were for my mother to be in my care, due to the unhealthy relationship that my sister has with my mother and I. My sister was reported to Adult Proctive Service by a physician, for medical neglect of my mother.
Since, I have moved my mother to the state that I reside, my mother is domiciled in this state and she hired a attorney to appoint me as the POA of finances and medical, which revoked my sister. Unfortunately, after my sister recieved notice that she was "Revoked", $$$$ was removed from several of my parents accounts. My mother has hired attorneys in two states to assist in the estate.
My sister insist that my POA is invalid, although it was completed by an attorney and not a form printed off line.
My sister has now refused to pay any of the bills that are consider in the trust. She is stating my mother is incompetent and taken the role of Co-Trustee of the family trust.
I have had my mother tested by a neuropsychologist and she is deemed compent over her financial matters.
I have found out today that none of the bills have been paid. I do not have access to pay these bills. Any thoughts???
The attorney seems as frustrated as me


I had all of the above documents and thought we were well planned for our parents but when the actual time came for me to execute my DPOA I discovered that the federal government does not recognize it and I should've had a Payee Representative form. I was very upset as we paid a lot of money to a very reputable attorney to do this for us. He should've added this to his paperwork and I have since told him so. I'd like to share this with everyone.