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11 Ways to Stop Caregiver-Related Depression

59 Comments

St. John'swort cannot be taken along with antidepressant meds. I wish that were included everytime someone suggests it.

I think these suggestions are just the same ole same ole and don't really work for people. If they did then no one would get depressed over this. What is needed is community support but sadly our culture doesn't provide that any longer.

talking to friends sounds good but in reality they are not interested in your caregiving problems unless they have had similar experience.

The 12th way is to decide whether being a caregiver will have a negative impact on your emotional wellbeing. Some people just should not be or cannot be a caregiver. The safety of the elders and the adult children are equal lateral.

I cannot for the life of me understand why somebody would want to keep a journal about caregiving when they are responsible for the old person 24/7. Kind of like hating your job and then going home to "journal" about it. I am so angry all of the time that eating is my hobby. Take care of myself? What for? So I can do this for another year. I would rather keel over from a heart attack.

Twenty-three years ago my father had a stroke and was paralyzed on the left side. For five years I helped take care of him every day, was called in the middle of the night to go help, etc. After he died, I continued to watch out for my mother. I am one of five children but the only one in town so it is mostly on my shoulders. Now my mother, 88, is beginning to be confused, thinks I am lying to her when she doesn't agree, is very negative and sometimes nasty to me. I had her live with me for two years when she had sciatica and couldn't get out of bed by herself or manage the steps to her apartment. That worked okay for awhile until she started taking over my home and didn't want me to do anything. If I wanted to run to the store, or anywhere, I could never go alone - she always "would go with you if you don't mind." Long story short, I think I have hit bottom and am feeling very overwhelmed, crying, sad and negative. I am also worried about what to do if she gets worse. I have told my sisters that I can't take her in again, but then I think how can I not! I have found myself being negative too and I am not like that, so I am really working on getting through this. Reading others comments is really helping me understand that I am not alone and there are ways to stand strong and get through this. Thanks!

I can truly understand the sinking feeling of care giving. I have been on "DUTY" for over 20 years with both my parents. My mother is a selfish, demanding, bossy old woman. NOTHING can ever please her. My dad has numerous health problems and the list goes on. My mother broke her hip many years ago and when she was finally sent home from the hospital she refused to try to walk. Instead she parked her butt in a wheel chair and gave up. She is now wheel chair bound and can't walk at all. If only she would have tried. But NO !!!!! My dad ended up in the hospital with a much needed surgery and I was expected to take time off of work to care for this woman. It lasted 4 long gruelling months. No pay cheque and I almost lost my job because of it. I wanted her to go to respite but she refused to go under any circumstances. I drank so much wine to try to cope with caring for her. Between running back and forth to the hospital to see my dad and looking after their affairs and of course "Mother". I was ready to head into the oncoming traffic and be killed so I could permanently escape this horror of a life. I wanted her to go to sleep and never wake up so I could be rid of her for ever. Sad.. but that is what happens when you are so over whelmed by other peoples problems. My dad knew that while I was caring for mother he could just lolly gag in the hospital and come up with more ailments to keep him in there for even longer. Meanwhile I am broke, wanting to strangle my mother and resenting my dad for not putting her into long term care when he had the chance. Did I mention she was 92 at the time. This all happened in 2010. The worst year of my life. I even told my mother that I wished that I had of been still born so I would have never have lived to experience her selfish me..me.. all about me... ways. It's over for now until the next bomb drops.
I'm still travelling back and forth to attend to their needs. The two of them should be in a facility and not still in their home. Mother is 94 now and dad 85. Every time the phone rings and I see their number I get a horror feeling that it's about to happen all over again. I wish they would die. I am an only child. I wouldn't wish this on any one.

It is hard for one to participate in the activities listed above when suffering from depression, from what I understand, people do not want to do anything. Professional help first and then gradually increase your social life to fit with your well being.

It is hard for one to participate in the activities listed above when suffering from depression, from what I understand, people do not want to do anything. Professional help first and then gradually increase your social life to fit with your well being.

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Contact your region's Area Agency on Aging (or similar). If either of you served in the armed services, you should also contact your nearest VA advocate. You can't do this alone!