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What Is Durable Power of Attorney?

87 Comments

My husband just passed away and his daughter whom I don't get along with had a dpoa before the marriage, would this still be in affect or would it be voided

Can nursing home care refuse to update children of their mothers care and only talk with EPOA

Can EPOA stop other family members having knowledge of their mothers care?

We have a POA in place with healthcare for my mum. The family does not all get on. What rights do siblings have to ask information from a nursing home regarding their mum? Can the nursing home refuse to discuss mum and her care with her children?

I have had the durable power of attorney since 1997 and am co- trustee of living trust for my mother. She has problems with memory and gets confused easily. I had her doctor write letter saying that she should not be asked to sign any type of document because of her memory. He stated that her son me should take care of her affairs. This letter is on file with hospital as is the Durable Power of Attorney. The hospital continues to ignore the fact that I am her caregiver and watches out for her in all areas of her life. Recently she was transported to hospital for heart attack. I arrived one hour later and asked the receptionist in ER if there were any papers to sign. The response was no the staff signed for her. Is this proper conduct for the hospital staff to ignore the POA even when the doctor has written a letter pertaining to the same subject.

I have a friend whose mother just passed away and he is the agent in the POA. He informed me that it is important for all the siblings to be on the checking account and not just the agent. My sister is the agent on my moms general durable POA with me then my brother who are also listed on the POA. Is it wise for me to be on her checking account and not just my sister. Also, can I just go to the bank with my copy of the POA that has my name on it and be on her account. I do not pay bills and have no access to the account so I would not be using the account for anything, just have my name on it. It was just highly suggested that I be on it. I hope this makes sense.

I am the second person on both my parents POA. They both now have alzheimer's. All of the companies that they deal with have a copy of the POA, but now are refusing to deal with me. They say because the other is listed I need a letter from the doctor so I would be the POA. Which form do I need for the doctor to fill out?

I have two brothers who have honestly not pitched in at all with My Mom. After my Dad passed 17 years ago, just was coincidental that my husband and I were looking for a home at the same time. So when he passed we thought we would give her the 4th bedroom. Well, who knew she would still be with us today. Not being mean, she is now 91 has mid-dementia, has had a stroke, and I have two daughters with auto immune diseases and life is not easy. I work full time so does my husband, he is still working but could retire if we could move and downsize. I feel guilty but I get no help from my two older brothers, my Mom does have a trust that she insists is to be divided equally btwn the three of us. My oldest brother all kids are married have homes, he is just waiting for SS to kick in his home is beautiful and will downsize, is not wealthy but secure. My middle brother has no children and has no money issues at all. What is wrong with this picture??? I am so stressed out at times I feel sick. Every thing I say to my brothers fall on deaf ears. All I want is xtra to fix my home so I can sell it at a decent price, as with my Mom there and my daughters feeding 5 for 17 years it has been hard financially. Some weeks I work 6 days a week for xtra money. I don't want to get into any legal trouble, nor will my Mom now even stay at one of brother's homes she doesn't feel welcome. So no vacation for my husband and I for the last seven years, not that I have the money for one either. Can someone help me at at least help me not feel guilty I have Durable POA, and I am Executer of her Trust. I feel my husband and I should receive some money to help us feel less stressed especially now since she is becoming harder and harder to handle with the dementia and hardly can walk. needs to feed etc. Is that unreasonable at this point??? It is more my Mom, not sure my brothers would care at this point, nor would they ever know if she helped me. Suggestions please.

I have Durable POA. I am so confused. Can I write my Mother's monthly bills ect. ???

comment

avants,

It is so sad when siblings cannot get along. It may help to ask your sister why a nursing home is needed? Is this something the doctor has told her? Are they other health problems that your mother has?

Such a discussion may take place better one on one instead of in front of everyone. Have you always had trouble getting along with your sister or is this something new?

What does your dad think about your mom going to the nursing home?

What level is your mom's alzheimer's / dementia? Have you read the stories here about those who try to take care of a parent with alzheimer's / dementia on their own at home? If not, I suggest you do.

It may be that your sister is looking at your mom's health needs more pragmatically in terms of the present and future needs of her safety and care. She may be also thinking of your own health from the standpoint of taking care of your mom with alzheimer's / dementia. 24/7?

As medical POA, it is her responsibility to look after such things and yours as the Durable POA to handle the money to get care needs paid for.

No one wants to go to a nursing home, but when it's needed it is needed. One person cannot take care of someone with alzheimer's / dementia. 24/7 and their condition only gets worse not better.