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Signs That Tell You It's Time for Assisted Living

31 Comments

I'm getting burned out being caregiver for my 88 yr old mother whom I never bonded with . I'm 72 and have health issues of my own . I had one sister and she is deceased. I'm trying to do it alone ..

Disabled sister is not old, only 61, so she needs more than custodial care. She needs a place she can call HOME & maybe some social opportunities but also assistance to dress, prep food, and with shopping & errands. Where can she turn for help ?? Maybe assisted living is too confined for her. But the state (OH) will not help with home care unless she is destitute -- cannot feed herself, or cannot go to the bathroom alone or cannot dress herself...
I may as well tell you that I am talking about myself. I do not think that I am ready for nursing home atmosphere. TOO YOUNG! Any ideas???

What if it's not a parent but a disabled sister?

Unfortunately because of the government funding limitation and laws nursing homes generally don't receive enough money do higher quality care or have appropriate ratio to care for someone with dementia. However I never recommend putting someone into a home if at all possible. If they don't have LTC insurance for Home Care there are companies that accept Medicare and Medicaid for home health and companion services. Putting someone in a facility is the number one way for their health to decline. I'm a dementia specialist and I can tell you the way that dementia is being handled in many that communities and Facilities is not appropriate. Including some of the medications that are not helping but may in fact make the disease worse. The family cannot afford private care then look into a company that has Medicaid approval and are experts in dementia care. Not all dimentia is the same

Someone said if a ALF or nursing home smelled of urine then it was not a good place. I take care of my husband and he pees on the floor I the b/r and despite the diapers still leaks. I can't seem to get rid of the urine smell I scrub and use beach but he's always peeing and pooping and it's hard till kerp up. So I wouldn't judge a facility with multiple patients like my husband and aids who have a large patient load and tough time keeping up. I am about suicidal trying to cope with this caregiving.

I'm at my moms house now. She is 84 a caring for her husband who is 87 with Alzheimer's. I came to visit to check and be sure they were doing okay. I live over a thousand miles from here so I don't get here often. I just think my mom is too old to be the caregiver for him. I worry over her health. His is now incontinent. He has had a couple episodes of poopy Depends in the past three weeks too. She does have someone come in for a half hour each morning to get him up and dressed and make his bed. They also will give him a shower. He uses a walker and is quite weak sometimes where I have helped him get up out of the chair to use the walker. He can get cranky and obstinate usually when it's time to go to bed. A year ago we got them moved out of the too big two story house and they have moved into a nice duplex at a place almost like a campus with buildings that have a pool, a restaurant, a building for those that need medical care, and an Alzheimer's care building. Nearly all of their assets went into moving into a duplex here. It's lovely. Now from what I understand they can stay here forever. They have " bought in". But if he needs to go into the Alzheimer's building there are additional fees. They don't have much monthly income and there are monthly fees to live here besides any additional care. Anyway I think he needs more care but I think mom doesn't want to give up her new house and so she keeps him here, over working herself

I am taking care of my husband with dementia is there an article on when it is time to consider assistive living?

May God bless you too my fellow "Newyorker." I never would have imagined this stuff existed and yes, the tell it takes on our health and well-being, while for them, it's just another day on the job. When my mother dies, I'll know she's free. Terrible to have to live like this, but there are no options....

Christine73 Thanks for your support. One would never believe all they put us through. So much disrespect and unnecessary stress. May God bless you!

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Sorry, I'm a terrible typist, but you grt yhe drift. My whole head is gray from the stress...not great!