Signs of Caregiver Stress: How Can I Tell if I am Too Stressed From Caregiving?

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

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When I last wrote here, I was working part-time while continuing to be my mother's main caregiver (she moved in with me over two years ago). I was trying to hang on to my job, so I thought that working part-time would be at least a compromise for my employee. It didn't work out and now I'm just home with my mother. I've gotta say I have a lot less stress. It is still stressful. Dealing with dementia and someone who basically doesn't know if it's day or night and finds nothing wrong with making requests throughout the night IS hard and it is frustration and stressful STILL, but nowhere near the extent it was before when I was trying to stay in the job.
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Caregiver stress...help!
7 years home hemodialysis for my spouse every other night...married 43 years. He’s had Diabetes for 55 years which led to blindness. Frequent trips to ER to rule out serious issues...Afib, 4 heart stents...seriously feel I have PTSD from stress from fear of him dying. Additionally, broke and worried about possibilities, future problems. Seem invisible...no one knows, cares about difficulties, changes I’m experiencing, physically, emotionally, or maybe I just am proficient at fooling everyone. I know in center dialysis would be a death sentence...
( my worst fear!) so I will never give up caring for him but need some support, somewhere, anywhere. Thought someone might be able to offer some helpful advice, just an ear.
I cannot, will not go backwards in his treatment but sometimes feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. Can anyone relate?
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and to caregiverli our situations are very similar. I too had to put my foot down as you did just for a week off. we all reach our breaking point. its normal for us.
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this is also a very good place to vent to people who understand. most don't. venting is good for us but it doesn't work if your venting to someone who doesn't understand.
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this site is very helpful but kinda scary since I read the signs of burnout and I have pretty much all of them. been doing this on my own for two years. its is comforting to know I am not alone. I have reading your guys comments and completely get it. thanks to all of you.
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Just want to thank you all for the support. I don't believe most people understand our lives. we are a unique group.
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I can relate to everyone here who is writing about their stress. The weight of the care responsibility is enough to drag a person way down. I just got leave from a job I really liked because I couldn't do both. Yesterday was my last day. I thought I would feel elated but instead I feel exhausted. I slept as much as I could and only got up when I had to but I'm still exhausted. Only people who do this can possibly understand. It is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life, and is the reason I tell my children NOT to do this for me. My Mom refuses to go anywhere, but she has never taken care of her mother so she has no idea how hard it is. I have been, and I do know, and I won't let my children go through what I'm going through. I know it sounds pretty bad to want the relief...but the truth is, it's not that I want my mother to die, I just want to be free....
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I can relate to everyone here who is writing about their stress. The weight of the care responsibility is enough to drag a person way down. I just got leave from a job I really liked because I couldn't do both. Yesterday was my last day. I thought I would feel elated but instead I feel exhausted. I slept as much as I could and only got up when I had to but I'm still exhausted. Only people who do this can possibly understand. It is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life, and is the reason I tell my children NOT to do this for me. My Mom refuses to go anywhere, but she has never taken care of her mother so she has no idea how hard it is. I have been, and I do know, and I won't let my children go through what I'm going through. I know it sounds pretty bad to want the relief...but the truth is, it's not that I want my mother to die, I just want to be free....
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HELP.... my mother moved in with me 15 years ago, she is now 90. I am totally burnt out, she broke her hip 3 years ago, has had several bouts of Escemic Colitis resulting in hospital stays, extremely hard of hearing even with top of the line hearing aids. We argue several times a day, mostly due to her hearing what she wants and always comes out negative. I have one brother that lives 600 miles away, he has tried to help, but Mom and his wife have issues. My mother is very opinionated and negative about all we do. I really cannot take much more, between doctor appointments, picking up prescriptions, buying special meals for her and general care I feel out of control. I had to retire last year from a job I loved just to take care of her. Most of my friends have given up on me as every time they ask me to go somewhere Mom has an issue and I cancel. I am sure I will go before her, I turn 70 next month, my body has worn down. I do not sleep, stress out all the time, clean up after her frequently, constant cooking. I feel my life is over. Anyone have any suggestions. I have tried looking for a support group in my area, mostly they are for Alzheimer’s issues. Any advice will be appreciated
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I would just like to say to all those caregivers out there, that you are all unsung heroes and you should all be very proud of yourselves for your courage and compassion. Secondly, I would like to say, that your life, health and well-being needs to come first. And you need to ask for help. And if asking doesn't help, you need to demand it. And learn to say no. Believe me, it is easier said than done. But if your family members and/or friends won't help, then you need to reach out to local social services. Be it the department of the aging in your community, the hospice agency you're working with, a church organization or who ever and let them know you are facing burn-out and you need a respite otherwise you or your family member will be in danger. You may also have to put your family member in a respite or nursing facility while you get rest. You can not continue to totally sacrifice your life and well-being. I took care of my husband during his cancer treatment, and then through in-home hospice and less than 6 months after that, my mother went into the hospital, and then home hospice care. Now 6 months later, I am totally spent. Ended up in urgent care with blood pressure of 180/110, and then IBS, insomnia, and depression. I finally said "enough" and worked with a social worker to get some additional help. Also told my other siblings, that I had to take a break, and if they didn't step in for a while, then would have to live with the consequences because I could not do it anymore. I love my mother unconditionally, but she's 88 and I'm 58, and I can not risk killing myself to care for her right now. I need a break. I tell all of you, you need to put you first at a certain point. There is some help out there but you sometimes need to scream and yell and say "no more" before you get it. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
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