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Siblings Who Care More About The Inheritance Than Parents' Care

229 Comments

I never thought I would see this in my family,but I do.I have been care giving for a total of 25 years and my mother is still with me.I have devoted my life and both my sisters have money and I don't have much.I do not get any help at all.

Well at least I haven't stolen anything from her house. None of us would even think of doing that.

Wow. So much resentment here. I don't know if I'm greedy. I do know that a little money would solve a lot of problems. I already feel like a horrible person. My mom and I didn't have a good relationship until I was in my 30s. She was ugly to me until I got married, and now, when she tells me how much she loves me all I can feel is sad. I just don't believe it.

My mother is lucid, but she keeps falling, and my sister, who lives nearby, is her caregiver. My husband and I are struggling financially after his business failed and I lost my job. We are in our 60s and 70s and lost our house, so we rent.
My mom lives in her own house, and though if she has to give up the house to go into a nursing home, so be it, but she keeps talking about how she wants to die, but she wants to leave us her house, but she doesn't know if she can keep it. It's driving me crazy. I feel like a horrible person but I hate listening to this. She hates her life, she's running my sister ragged, she doesn't want me there because she's always been a total neatnik obsessed with how "dirty" her house it (it's not) .

i clearly see now mom and dad should had left their money and their house to charity wished they had then my greedy sister wouldn't have anything to work with or go by she is greedy even my mother told me this a while back.stealing food and angel figures while mom was still alive i admit i had a falling out with mom but i did love her and now am missing her a lot rest in peace mom....god will get revenge on greedy sister. sister thinks its all about her boy will she be surprise when she realizes its not.

my sister is one of the greediest people in this world she is nothing but a greedy slob lives with her husband and son he is a thief and a liar we have a reason to believe he had something to do with moms death they really want that money bad so they can do drugs and drink god is gonna get them so sister dear and little dirt bag be ready for the lord he is coming soon then we will see who has the last laugh SISTER DEAR

my sister is one of the greediest people on this earth she doesn't care about others at all just getting her paws on the money she wants to sell mom and dads house i found out for her to do this she needs my signature which she wont ever get unless she forges its she has her house she trying to kick our younger brother out moms house ..message to sister dear GOD IS GONNA GET YOU so be ready Sister dear its coming to your hometown where you ask in Pegram,TN

Wow it's like you have a Crystal ball. Exactly what is going on here. But I can't afford to buy anything no pay for over 15 months and I pay for my own gas and meals. I went from 177 pound's to 137 I look like a walking skelaton. they even asked me to pay $ 2000 to buy the truck Iuse to drive from and to home and pay the license, insurance, and repair. With no pay. And equal inherents for my wife not me. this was just supposed to be two weeks. Now over 15 week's the wife is too weak to do the heavey lifting. I feel like I'm being suckered.

I am currently the caretaker for my 88yo wonderful Mom. I have been a geriatric nurse , specializing in Dementia for 30 years. Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 1.5 years ago,and since that time,it had ALWAYS been me who has seen to her medical care. My brother(we are the only 2 surviving out of 4 children), is her POA, and I am her healthcare agent. My brother only spends 1 hour a week with Mom, taking her out to lunch,and a quick grocery shopping.
My brother and I have been at odds since the beginning of this journey. When I received her diagnosis,I phoned him to update him,and all he could say is"Oh, GREAT! That means that I'M going to get it!" I was so shocked, I couldn't believe he could only think of himself!
I noticed Mom has a pretty severe hearing defecit over a year ago, and took Mom to a hearing specialist, who gave us a quote for hearing aides. My brother FLAT OUT refused to allow mom to get them, saying she can't afford it. He took her entire savings account back in 2013, and put it in his name only. Now he's telling Mom she only has 5000 in her account,and HE'S not paying for her funeral!!
Mom is suffering from mild dementia,she is very physically healthy,sorry,and very viable!!! She enjoys volunteering at her local senior center once a week,and still attends her weekly woman's bible study group. Of course, I provide all rides. She hasn't spent ONE CENT on clothing or anything for herself, as my brother BULLIES her into not spending any of her money! Myself and My aunt are no longer allowed to take her shopping, as we allow her to use her credit card when she needs or wants something. She has never attempted to make grandiose purchases.
The grocery shopping trips with my brother are becoming more and more frugal, much to my dismay. Last week, he thought it was sufficient for her to exist on a 1/2 pound container of premixed tuna salad from the deli, along with a package of hamburger buns, a small amount of grapes,and nothing else that I could see. He never has her buy meat,, or fresh veggies. She used to LOVE salads!
The time for mom to live alone is drawing to an end. She can't afford assisted living. My brother is denying Mom and I the opportunity to move in together, so that I can have the privilege of taking care if her at home. He says he is afraid that I'll get burnt out! Like having to run back and forth between her home and mine several times a day(I also have custody of my 3 year old grandson) to give her meds,help her run her household, and now, to provide meals isn't MORE stressful? At LEAST it will give me peace of mind to know she's safe and taken care of.
Because of my career, I am extremely well aware of all of the resources available to us, should we need them. I also have many friends in the medical field who I know would help us out if need be. My 3 daughters would also be of great help
My question is, can he, as her POA have the FINAL say over us cohabitating? We would have to find a rental property to share,since neither one if our current homes could accommodate our situation. I am trying to get us help with a security deposit, since I won't touch her money to cover her half. I also have no interest in becoming her POA, and if he quits,as he has threatened her to do, I will hire an objective third party. I should also state that in Mom's estate plan, she states outright that if a COP is needed, she wants me to be named as COP.Her estate plan also states that he cannot put her into any hospital or nursing home without me approving of it first. Her Alzheimer's doctor says that Mom is still capable of deciding where she wants to live. I don't want to think that my brother would dip into Mom's money, but he finally DID purchase what he says are hearing aides, which supposedly cost $1000. They are amplification devices and there's no way they cost all of that. She doesn't want to hurt him by firing him as her POA, but I don't see any other way.

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I was the caregiver to my dad who lost both legs due to health issues, my mom passed away in 1999. My dad had a will and everything was suppose to be split 50/50. Well, I found out that my dads 401K which he told me that I was getting 1/2 and my sister was to get 1/2, well there was a problem with the paperwork my dad put my sister as primary and me as secondary, he didn't know. My sister will not give me my share and I just found out she bought a house. I really need to find a way to deal with this a support group somewhere, I cant seem to find a group for that category. I really think this is gonna kill me if I cant find a way to deal with this. If there is someone out there that can give me some advice as what to do I would appreciate it.