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Siblings Who Care More About The Inheritance Than Parents' Care


I didn't like those last comments out of her book or wherever they came from. I am the primary care taker of my Mother as I have been close to a year now. I am tired at times sure. I sometimes wish my brothers would come down and at least visit. But what I do and my brothers do have no effect on my Mom's Will. I do not feel that I should get the lions share of whatever money is left. It's not about money. I could care less who gets what. What is important is that my Mother gets the best care available. If that comes from spending 4000$ a month on assisted living then it will be done. I didn't care for that author's cliches she dished out. Get your hands dirty come on please that is insulting. Plus some of the other things she put out there were upsetting to say the least.

Sorry to go on, but siblings should be grateful that we do this stuff. Sometimes it's not a plan - things happen, we help because we love the person and it turns into long term. That was the case with me - went to help and it turned into 3+ years. Dad died last year in his home. I lived there with to the end. Didn't take pay and didn't want pay. I am executor and the greedy sister will get her share even though she did nothing and believes she should have everything. There isn't a lot - the house/contents/small accounts. But in this case as in the case of many here, if we didn't do what we do, there would be nothing. Beneficiaries should be grateful.

It's so sad that there are so many stories like this. I have one too. I have chosen no more contact with the greedy very mean sibling who was only interested in what she wanted and attacked in the worst ways when she didn't get it, even attacking Dad at 90 yrs old, in his hospital bed. I eventually came to realize that something is very wrong with her and not fixable by me. While I was caregiving she would not communicate with me and in front of family and Dad, acted like I wasn't in the room/didn't exist, even at the hospital and nursing home. Very hurtful person. Got money and help from Dad for years, even stole his food when she wanted it. He used to hide it from her. Lived next door, never did a thing to help. She actually said I was only caregiving so that people would like me! Spread terrible lies and personal info about me too. Did the same to another sibling who was helping me at times and turned her son, our nephew, against us too. Enough. I don't wish her harm but I don't have to put up with her either. No more abuse. It's over.

Exsister - yes, sounds like we are! I wouldn't bother with your sisters and niece anymore.

Spangle, glad you got legal advice anyway. My sisters and one of my nieces are still being nasty to my mum and me. We have tried to reach out to them many times, with presents for the kids, offers of lunch out, etc, but they throw our kindness back in our faces... I take it we are from the same small country (and both hanging onto anonymity for reasons of personal safety).

I'm a son in law took over because my wife wasn't strong enough to do the lifting I get no pay every one is to share equally in the inheritance, but only one sister helps take care of them. And both parents have dementia so it's double the stress and work. I take 14 hours shifts the sister in law takes 10 hours at night and has to get up 3 times a night to take her mother to the bathroom. The others like to come over and blow off steam at me after a bad day . I started telling them I'm an unpaid care giver the only word's I want to hear are Thank you or you can go home and I'll take your place. I don't want to hear nothing else.

It is my strong hope that all of my father's equity in home is devoured by the in home nursing care for my mother and even for my "father" who deprived the family of love and sexually abused me. I want nothing to do with an inheritance and am dealing with a (sister) sibling with strong affiliations with law enforcement and social services. She is using them to brand me for abuse. It is getting so bad for me that I hope there are no sudden deaths of my mother or even my father, so there is NO MONEY. When my mother had breast cancer the 1st thing father wanted to know from Dr. is how to get her "Free" hospice and convalescence. My sister is is heavy debt and I pray there is almost nothing left and myself, and my sister Get Nothing, and my mother gets a dignified end to her life. I have been disabled on next to no money all my life and I already do not want a d*mn dime and won't get a dime since I confronted father about his abuse. It my case it is impossible to care for my father who is narcissistic and behaves cruelly even in old age and is healthy as an ox. When you never had it all in regards to health and money you really lose interest in relatively quick fashion.

ExSister - "Spangle, your story is very similar to mine in many ways. You really should sue your brother for defamation of character and take a criminal harassment case against him. This will only get worse and could erupt when you and your parents are at your most vulnerable.". I've seen two solicitors about this. One at the time, and one earlier this year. One said I might only win if his defamation had caused me to lose money/job, and the other one said he hadn't been in touch in over a year, so to wait until he resumes his activities. And not to waste my money. I comfort myself with the thought that whilst he continues to waste skin and oxygen, he is a very unhappy person, trapped in an unhappy marriage, and has no access to any information anymore. If he comes near me again, I will definitely sue and get a restraining order against him. Hope things are improving for you :)

I am so, so glad not to have children of my own. At least you can choose your friends. I wish I had better siblings.


Spangle, your story is very similar to mine in many ways. You really should sue your brother for defamation of character and take a criminal harassment case against him. This will only get worse and could erupt when you and your parents are at your most vulnerable.