I am trying really really hard to understand what is going on here with the MIL. She has always been extremely self-centered, but it is getting worse and I am wondering if there is something else going on here. I am recovering from a hysterectomy. It has been less than a week and the recovery is going slow, but getting better. I have not been able to do things for the MIL, which we have made her very aware this surgery was coming (she lives across the street and lives independently). My husband has been picking up the slack at home after going to work all day and my teens have been checking in on the MIL for me every day. Last night, hubby went over to get her trash (we put it in our cans every week) and she immediately lit into him on arrival, screaming at him, and cursing at him. She said she could be laying dead over there and we wouldn't care (or wouldn't know, or something to that effect). He says she was using the F-word over and over, which isn't usually something she does. She said she was very effing pissed off at him. He told her he couldn't deal with her acting like that, got her trash, and walked out the door, all the while with her yelling at him out the door "you only care about your friends and your football" (she says this all the time). I felt so bad for him when he got home. He was so upset. It's like she cannot stand it that she is not the center of attention, even for just a few days. I haven't talked to her yet. I've been letting everyone else deal with her because she stresses me out so much and I'm trying to keep that down so I can recover, but now I want to just want to fight her. However, I know from years of experience that it won't do any good. I just don't know how to deal with this behavior and I guess I am searching for excuses for her by thinking it is a dementia issue or something because I cannot believe a sane person would act like this. I don't know if she has dementia or not; there are a lot of small signs I think, but it is hard to tell with her.