Why does my sister do the things that she does?
My sisters and i go and decorate our parents resting place pretty much every season changes..but this time took the cake..On mothers day wkend i worked, i work thr 12 hr shifts on the wkends so i dnt go out much over the wkend i pretty much sleep due to half to go back in at night.but they never called me and told me what time they were going to the cementary to decorate my parents resting place. so what they do??? they go and then sends me a picture, do you know how furious that made me..mothers day is touchy for me i cry alot most for my mom its not that she died its how she died . i am grateful that i was the ONLY one got to say "I LOVE YOU" before she passed because im the one that put her in the car. and put her seat belt on she was FURIOUS at me for doing that and thats how i ended up saying GOOD NITE MOM SEE YA TOMORROW MORNING I LOVE YOU: i did my moms insulate on the mornings i was off. so i knew i would see her the next morning, but,...that morning never came for her..but to the story of my sisters they never called me, i was pretty upset because of mothers day and what they did..so my children my handsome men in my life along with their dad told me they would go out with me so....they did, we took pictures and i place mines on FACEBOOK and i got alot of compliments on them.. but my SISTER decides to comment on them and says i quote.."yea thanks to three of my sisters and me (shes talking about herself) we BOUGHT all the stuff and we deserve the glory...Oh i could not beleive it im glad i was on facebook cause i erased it i was so mad i could screamed i told my oldest sister about it she lives out of state and she told me who cares who bought what and i said yes exactly,, but this sister to me is vinidctive every since all the stuff happen with my dad...i think shr is still mad at me cause none of them got anything but household things but i got money...why she does the things she do i do not know why
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Well I hope you stick around it really helps to vent about them siblings here. I know I need to sometimes. My oldest sister & hubbys oldest sister sound like your vindictive one maybe it has something to do with that older thing they think you should agree with them and keep your mouth shut. yuk.......GLAD you are feeling better about things;)
Now I see you only wanted to vent. Got it. I hope it felt good. But I suspect it didn't. Have you considered counseling for handling your grief? Not just about your mom but about your sisters, too? That might help. I hope so.
Now, what do you want to have happen next? What kind of help do you want from us?
On the face of it, these actions could be kindness on their part. They could be thinking that you need your sleep, that mothers' day upsets you, that they'd let you skip this time and then share the results with you so you'd feel good that the graves were looking nice. That is one possibiliity.
Or, they could have known it would upset you to be excluded and they did it deliberately to hurt you, and then sent you the pictures to say, "nah nah nah nah nah -- we did it and you didn't!"
Why did they do it? I don't know them. You do.
Then you posted a picture on Facebook (without mentioning their part?) and one made a comment about who should get the glory.
Hmmm ... is decorating the resting place about getting glory?
And then you deleted the sister's facebook comment.
And maybe this has something to do with Father's will.
Yikes! Doesn't this sound, well, kind of childish when you write it all out? I don't mean your feelings of loss and grief. That is not childish. But the relationships among you sisters. You are all grown up now, right?
You have lost both of your parents. But you have sisters left. That can be the most satisfying and enduring relationship and can give you all comfort and joy for decades to come. If it is at all possible (and sometimes it isn't) you would all benefit from dropping the squabbling and trying to build better feelings going forward.
Before giving up on them, give yourself some time to heal from this incident and then I suggest you set up a sisters' gettogether. Tell them you'd like to go back to the warm feelings you had when you all worked together decorating the resting place. Ask for ideas on how you can all heal the hard feelings and start over. Don't accuse or dwell on who did what, but discuss how you'd like to enjoy good family feelings again. Focus on the future.
In the overall scheme of things, having sisters in your life is worth working on. My life would be much grayer without my three sisters. I love my brothers. I will be sad when my mother passes, and I miss my dad. But it is my sisters who are the core of my family feelings. I know that some family relationships are so toxic the best thing you can do is detach from them. I hope that is not the case in your family, and together you will find a way to restore harmony in your extended family life.
Best wishes to you.