Why does my sister do the things that she does?

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My sisters and i go and decorate our parents resting place pretty much every season changes..but this time took the cake..On mothers day wkend i worked, i work thr 12 hr shifts on the wkends so i dnt go out much over the wkend i pretty much sleep due to half to go back in at night.but they never called me and told me what time they were going to the cementary to decorate my parents resting place. so what they do??? they go and then sends me a picture, do you know how furious that made me..mothers day is touchy for me i cry alot most for my mom its not that she died its how she died . i am grateful that i was the ONLY one got to say "I LOVE YOU" before she passed because im the one that put her in the car. and put her seat belt on she was FURIOUS at me for doing that and thats how i ended up saying GOOD NITE MOM SEE YA TOMORROW MORNING I LOVE YOU: i did my moms insulate on the mornings i was off. so i knew i would see her the next morning, but,...that morning never came for her..but to the story of my sisters they never called me, i was pretty upset because of mothers day and what they did..so my children my handsome men in my life along with their dad told me they would go out with me so....they did, we took pictures and i place mines on FACEBOOK and i got alot of compliments on them.. but my SISTER decides to comment on them and says i quote.."yea thanks to three of my sisters and me (shes talking about herself) we BOUGHT all the stuff and we deserve the glory...Oh i could not beleive it im glad i was on facebook cause i erased it i was so mad i could screamed i told my oldest sister about it she lives out of state and she told me who cares who bought what and i said yes exactly,, but this sister to me is vinidctive every since all the stuff happen with my dad...i think shr is still mad at me cause none of them got anything but household things but i got money...why she does the things she do i do not know why

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I'm having a hard time understanding what is upsetting you so much. You and your sisters usually decorate your parents grave together. You have restrictive hours sometimes, including the weekend they wanted to do this. They went ahead and did it themselves. They sent you pictures.

On the face of it, these actions could be kindness on their part. They could be thinking that you need your sleep, that mothers' day upsets you, that they'd let you skip this time and then share the results with you so you'd feel good that the graves were looking nice. That is one possibiliity.

Or, they could have known it would upset you to be excluded and they did it deliberately to hurt you, and then sent you the pictures to say, "nah nah nah nah nah -- we did it and you didn't!"

Why did they do it? I don't know them. You do.

Then you posted a picture on Facebook (without mentioning their part?) and one made a comment about who should get the glory.

Hmmm ... is decorating the resting place about getting glory?

And then you deleted the sister's facebook comment.

And maybe this has something to do with Father's will.

Yikes! Doesn't this sound, well, kind of childish when you write it all out? I don't mean your feelings of loss and grief. That is not childish. But the relationships among you sisters. You are all grown up now, right?

You have lost both of your parents. But you have sisters left. That can be the most satisfying and enduring relationship and can give you all comfort and joy for decades to come. If it is at all possible (and sometimes it isn't) you would all benefit from dropping the squabbling and trying to build better feelings going forward.

Before giving up on them, give yourself some time to heal from this incident and then I suggest you set up a sisters' gettogether. Tell them you'd like to go back to the warm feelings you had when you all worked together decorating the resting place. Ask for ideas on how you can all heal the hard feelings and start over. Don't accuse or dwell on who did what, but discuss how you'd like to enjoy good family feelings again. Focus on the future.

In the overall scheme of things, having sisters in your life is worth working on. My life would be much grayer without my three sisters. I love my brothers. I will be sad when my mother passes, and I miss my dad. But it is my sisters who are the core of my family feelings. I know that some family relationships are so toxic the best thing you can do is detach from them. I hope that is not the case in your family, and together you will find a way to restore harmony in your extended family life.

Best wishes to you.
well you right you dnt know them and yes it wasnt that i had to get my sleep and its ONLY one sister the rest are fine they just followers before this sister left she used to do and she nevered would call ANY of us she would just go ahead and do it WITHOUT our help and as far as glory she is a SHOWBOATER she likes getting glory that her M.O. but when she jump up and move my sisters that lives together and i we would go to the shop and get the flowers and the oldest one of us she would fixed them up and then all four of us would go to the cementary but when SHE came back in town she TOOK over without our knowledge she lives mwith the two sisters now , the one that fixed them up when she left, doesnt even doing them anymore becauise SHE
(sorry)..took it over and thats not fair ..so i am upset bout it and yes she puts that mess on my facebook to let everybody know she bought them, i dnt want that mess on my facebook she could've put it on her own know i had more friends thats why and like my OLDERST SISTER.. said that was all uncall for she didnt half to put it up there and she told her that..so like i said she is the invidctive one she is the one that doesnt want any of us to help and she only does it for glory.. when we went and did it together we did it TOGETHER..i have nothing to say to her...and to let you know there is 6 of us and she is the ONLY vinvictive one
There are 6 children. One of them is vindictive and a showboater. Two others follow her lead. Recently the showboater and her followers did something while excluding you. You are mad about it. It wasn't fair and it wasn't nice.

Now, what do you want to have happen next? What kind of help do you want from us?

Excuse me but i didn't ask for anyone help this sight is also for venting and there are 12 kids and 6 of each i never said how kids i said 6 girls.they went and didnt say what time and im not mad about it i know how my sister work..but FYI no one went yesterday with her now talking about someone mad ...she is.tgey went but they went singley im assuming
Msdiva I am sorry you are upset and yes this is a place to vent and just mentioning something does not mean we want help=my husband allways thought I was asking for help and one day said to me I can not fix all your problems and I said wtf -who asked to to fix my problens and the ates gentlemen friend was always finding a fix for my issues which were usually over the top-thank godness he is out of the picture-I guess it is human nature to try to solve other people problems-maybe you all could get together and talk about this but only you know if that would help or be worse for you.
Gosh, msdiva. I read your post the same way Jeanne Gibbs did...that you wanted a response, and I was clueless about what the real,problem was and clueless about how to respond.

Now I see you only wanted to vent. Got it. I hope it felt good. But I suspect it didn't. Have you considered counseling for handling your grief? Not just about your mom but about your sisters, too? That might help. I hope so.
you know i do not worry about my sister this will pass i was only venting thats all i was upset about them not telling me the time but what upsets me the most is that she takes over what she up and left for us to do then she comes back and takes over and my other sisters wnt say nothing,,but i sure did i said what i had to say to her face i am one of the youngest i have 4 sister over me and i do not hesitate what i need to say to any of them, they think cause me and my little sisters are the youngest that we haf to go along,,,no not us we done told them but thats another chapter, i was merely saying we need to do this together and she refuses to do so she is a SHOWBOATER and i have told her that,,but in a since she puts it on facebook that SHE paid for everything she doesnt half to do that or put it on my facebook..but...karma is a ---- she got her just dues yesterday my family joined me yesterday they seen me there and the next thing i know they all there and i was shock especially the boys (brothers)..they said they heard what happen and my sister needs to get a grip and we all need to go together ..you know since my mother passed we all have growned apart i think thats whats bothering and when i was taking care of my father they turned their back on me and was only after money nothing else no grief stricken (that I seen) only thinking about what THOUGHT i did and they got broken down..so i just went by myself and my brothers and 2 of my sisters seen me at my parents resting place and they joined and she was pretty pissed about
wow I FEEL FOR YOU GIRL with that many sibling god bless you .... lol I take care of my MIL now & Ive been in hubbys family so long I did consider his 2 older sisters like My own till Momma got sick, Honey you just vent all you want I dont have any brothers except for 1 BIL and I can take him. But these damn sisters drive me crazy. VENT AWAY msdiva Love the name (My son has a D name and my hubby and his girlfriend call him miss diva d lol...
Ah. Venting can be useful. I saw that your post went without responses for several days and I thought I'd take a stab at finding out what you wanted help with. Now that I understand you didn't want help but just to vent I am sorry I intruded.

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