Who are the kids or children? My Mom with dementia always see's "the kids" I am just wondering how many others experienced this?

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My MIL just turned 85 this past month. She was diagnosed with dimentia 10 yrs ago.
For the first yr after her husband passed I traveled back n forth weekly to visit her and to take her shopping n to her doctors appointments as she didn't drive. After a yr of doing this I realized she just wasn't capable of living alone, she would forget to eat, take her meds etc even with me calling her three to four times a day to remind her. I finally told my husband that she had to come live with us.
Over the years her memory has increasingly gotten worse and of course our lives have completely changed because she has no desire to go shopping or movies or do anything..
In the last 3-4 months mom has started hallucinating. She will come to our room in the middle of the night asking where are we going ? Or did you call me or ask me if I'm ok, she thought she heard me call her name. I tuck her in at night like a child hug n kiss her n tell her how much I love her and she tells me the same. She usually sleeps sound from about 8:30 p to around midnight, then it all starts. She claims people are outside asking her to let them in or coaxing her to come go with them. We've had to put alarms on all the doors for fear of her wondering off in the middle of the night. The door alarms didn't dissuade her so now we have an eye set on her bedroom door that alarms next to our bed when she opens her bedroom door . This alarm goes off 4-5 times a night after midnight. She's always looking for someone who is either calling to her or trying to find someone who was just in her room.
The past couple weeks it's been a woman or a young girl she's been seeing and searching for. She claims that they call her by name and ask her if she's coming with them or if she's ready to go ? It's really scary for me to know she's goring through this especially knowing there's nothing I can do about it..
Her doctors are aware of this and just tell me to go along with her on it not to argue or make her feel she isn't experiencing what she's speaking of. So I just tell her that they've left and will be back again because they felt she needed her rest more than taking the trip. She seems to experience the hearing of voices more at night but is very adimant about the fact that she Sees people during the day. Her hallucinations seem to be more frequent when she's just waking or relaxing.
She even calls me mom and refers to my husband her son as Dad... This disease is horrible and it's a thief in the night that robs people of their identity and their dignity.. such a sad situation when dealing with someone who suffers from this.
Moms doctors told me that during the course of this disease there comes a point when it affects the family and caregivers more so than the afflicted because their memory of who or what they are no longer exist but we are suffering through their loss each and every day until their passing..

My MIL just turned 85 this past month. She was diagnosed with dimentia 10 yrs ago.
For the first yr after her husband passed I traveled back n forth weekly to visit her and to take her shopping n to her doctors appointments as she didn't drive. After a yr of doing this I realized she just wasn't capable of living alone, she would forget to eat, take her meds etc even with me calling her three to four times a day to remind her. I finally told my husband that she had to come live with us.
Over the years her memory has increasingly gotten worse and of course our lives have completely changed because she has no desire to go shopping or movies or do anything..
In the last 3-4 months mom has started hallucinating. She will come to our room in the middle of the night asking where are we going ? Or did you call me or ask me if I'm ok, she thought she heard me call her name. I tuck her in at night like a child hug n kiss her n tell her how much I love her and she tells me the same. She usually sleeps sound from about 8:30 p to around midnight, then it all starts. She claims people are outside asking her to let them in or coaxing her to come go with them. We've had to put alarms on all the doors for fear of her wondering off in the middle of the night. The door alarms didn't dissuade her so now we have an eye set on her bedroom door that alarms next to our bed when she opens her bedroom door . This alarm goes off 4-5 times a night after midnight. She's always looking for someone who is either calling to her or trying to find someone who was just in her room.
The past couple weeks it's been a woman or a young girl she's been seeing and searching for. She claims that they call her by name and ask her if she's coming with them or if she's ready to go ? It's really scary for me to know she's goring through this especially knowing there's nothing I can do about it..
Her doctors are aware of this and just tell me to go along with her on it not to argue or make her feel she isn't experiencing what she's speaking of. So I just tell her that they've left and will be back again because they felt she needed her rest more than taking the trip. She seems to experience the hearing of voices more at night but is very adimant about the fact that she Sees people during the day. Her hallucinations seem to be more frequent when she's just waking or relaxing.
She even calls me mom and refers to my husband her son as Dad... This disease is horrible and it's a thief in the night that robs people of their identity and their dignity.. such a sad situation when dealing with someone who suffers from this.
Moms doctors told me that during the course of this disease there comes a point when it affects the family and caregivers more so than the afflicted because their memory of who or what they are no longer exist but we are suffering through their loss each and every day until their passing..

Saleymom, young children or small people are probably the most common hallucinations in dementia. My aunt (who never had dementia) saw children in her house when she had a uti.

My guess is that it has more to do with brain chemistry than previous residents of the house, or miscarriages, or personal meaning. A minister with LBD saw young children in his home all the time. His wife (in my local support group) simply reassured him. "I've already given them a snack, and their parents are picking them up soon, so they won't be joining us for dinner."

I think you are doing splendidly by reassuring Mom and not arguing with her. You don't need to figure out who this child is to continue doing that. Use this as an opportunity to praise your mom and make her feel good.

"Mom, you were such a great mother to me when I was little! I can understand why little girls want to hang around you. And it is so kind of you to be concerned about her. She has a good family, too, and she needs to send time with them. But I expect she'll be back."

One other suggestion would be to try a life-size baby doll (or a doll about the size and weight distribution of a baby, but the features of a toddler.) A quality doll like this can be found for about $100 or so. Much more expensive dolls are also available but they are generally "collector" dolls and not really meant to be handled a lot. Less expensive dolls available at discount stores are typically made to fit a little girl's arms. A life-size doll is more suitable for an adult.

When you give it to her say something like, "Since you are friends with a little girl, I thought this might be nice in your room." Or let her help you pick it out online, with the same reasoning. Don't tell her it is a baby. Whether she treats it like a toy or a baby or says her little friend plays with her -- however she relates to the doll, just go along with it. Take your cues from her. It may just wind up being an expensive decoration on her dresser, or it may help her express her nurturing instincts. If you or she can afford it, I'd say it is worth a try.

Sorry that Mom is fretting, and that is so sad. It is also such a precious, delicate mind your Mom has, and needs to be protected. Hugs all around!

Saleymom, it is you. Mom its me, I grew up! She may never remember. Does she know your name today?

freqflyer, I know it's not the house because she just recently came to live with me full time back in October and before that when she would come visit me at special occasions she would do the same thing. She doesn't drive so when it was time to leave with whomever she got a ride with, she would look for the little girl and insisted on not leaving her behind. We would just say she got a ride with someone else and that she is fine and she would calm down. She still does that when we go to the grocery store. When we get back to car she always asks for the little girl and how we can't leave her in the store, because she will be lost. I have asked her many times for her name and she says she can't remember, so I ask her to describe her, she says she is a skinny little girl, I ask her does she have short or long hair, she says I don't remember if she had braids in her hair. I have told her that her sister picked her up, my aunt, she used to take care of us when we were little, so I call my aunt and I tell her to say she is with her and she is ok. It helps for a little. She did grow up with 9 sisters and a lot of girl cousins.

Saleymom - your story broke my heart - your poor mom, so worried about the little girl! Since your mom doesn't know her name. I'm assuming something like this suggestion wouldn't upset her more - have you tried saying "her mom came and picked her up" or something to that effect to keep your mom from fretting?

Saleymom, that is very interesting what your Mom is doing. The first thing that came to mind was a ghost of a child who had previously lived in the house decades ago. And the ghost feels comfortable around your Mom. Do you live in an old house? Or on a property that once had an old house?

If not a ghost, maybe it's your Mom as a child or a sister [if she had any]. A childhood friend... or the child is you.

It would be fascinating to find out from your Mom what is the child's name.

My mom always sees a little girl. She comes out of her room and asks, where did she go? I ask who, she says my little girl, she was just talking to me and then she disappeared. She goes outside, worried, because the little girl is only 4, so she says, and where could she have gone? She starts crying and is deeply worried for her. I try everything to take her mind off of it but she continues looking. I am her only daughter, but I wonder if she had a miscarriage that I don't know about or is she just looking for me as a little girl? She can never say what her name is, just that it's her little girl.

Those of you whose loved ones think there are multiple versions of you or someone else might want to look up capgras syndrome. As with all symptoms of dementia, report the situation to the doctor.

I am so glad I asked this question. Thank you all for sharing!!! Reading the newer posts I just remember something... As a hairdresser I get close to people especially the aging ones I find there conversations so interesting, my co-workers say I have a lot patients (not meaning customers...listening time) with them. I find the stories they tell are, interesting, historical, and educational. More so than young people complaining about things they still have time to change, if they just stop complaining and do something about it. Anyway... One woman who was mentally fine, took a turn downhill and passed on quite quickly for physical reasons. Her daughter came into the shop and opened up to me about her Mom's last days. She picked up on the fact I would understand and not criticize. She explained that her Mom kept talking to her Dad (Husband..who passed about one year earlier) and she told her daughter that her Dad was there with them , where he was standing and telling her to let go he was waiting for her. Soon after she watched her Mom peacefully and happily go to rest forever. The daughter said to me that she had not shared that with others, not even family, because she knew people would not understand but she felt very comfortable telling me!!! I really forgot about this or had not thought of it until now. I guess you all are the group of people, meant for me share this with. Our elders may be giving us the run around and we are chosen to struggle through it all, but maybe this is all because we are being taught and we should really listen. We may not understand fully what is being taught but I think we have a different understanding of love and life that most people will never understand.

My mom lives in a memory "support" unit of an assisted living facility. She frequently refers to all of the children & teenagers who are around, and she is afraid that they will take her things. Since she moved there 9 months ago, I have seen one visitor who was a child or teen, & I am there pretty often. I think they are just in her imagination. She doesn't have a definite diagnosis of a type of dementia, but it doesn't seem to be Alz., per se. Will have to look into the LBD disease. She also had hypertension for years and refused to take medication, so also has brain damage from that, based on CT scans. That could be part of what's going on, too. Some days are better than others, as all of you know.

Hallucinations and delusions are a part of many kinds of dementia. (Even UTIs can cause hallucinations.) Often these come later in the disease, but with LBD visual hallucinations come early and may be the first symptom where is it totally clear that something is wrong.

No matter what disease they are associated with, hallucinations are never under the control of the person having them. No one wills himself to see things that aren't there, and the things they see are absolutely real to them. Arguing about it is ineffective and generally hurtful.

I agree with msdaizy and Nanieine. Caregiving is so much less stressful if you understand the disease process at work.

I totally agree with Nanieinne...The Lewy Body Dementia disease changed the make up in the brain. It made them truly believe there were people there. It was all part of the disease. I do think there are moments when mom would see people that she knew...(who subsequently passed away long before) but as much as I want to think they were spirits. They were only figments of her imagination. That doesn't mean you should disagree with what she was telling you. I researched the LBD disease like Nanieinne and finding other ways of helping them cope was much easier than disagreeing. They believe what they see is real...it's just easier and less stressful to agree or distract her from it, than to create drama over it.
I miss my mom...but I lost her way before she passed away. Her LBD made her someone so different, I just learned how to help her through the journey. Research it...and try not to take it personal is the key.
Love them and tell them everyday..no matter what they say or do. It builds trust and its great therapy for the caregiver too.

Windytown, I'm not so sure about what "lies" lighthealer means, but I can tell you when I researched Lewy Body Dementia after my mom was diagnosed, it really helped me understand what had been happening to my wonderful mother over the last 10 yrs of so. I am grateful to God that I had her as long as I did, and that she had her mind for as long as she did. Once she was diagnosed, it helped me understand what this disease was doing. Her delusions or hallucinations were not because she was going off into the spirit world. They were caused by a disease that was affecting her brain. She had no control over what was happening. Many of the things she heard or saw were bits and parts of what she once knew, or bits and parts of what she was reading in the newspaper and hearing on tv. I was so grateful to read the book: A Caregiver's guide to Lewy Body Dementia. I knew my mom didn't have alzheimer's , but reading this book helped me see how my mom, like Nana24's mom had most of the symptoms. She died 3 months after being diagnosed, and I would have to say this disease progressed exactly as the book said it would. In hindsight I was able to see how the disease had been progressing over the last 10 years. It was unbelievable! This is why I've stayed on this site even tho mom passed away January 1st. Just 27 days ago. I feel if I can help even one person get through what lies ahead regarding their caregiving, my mom's life was not in vain. Had I known about LBD, I know I could have avoided alot of unnecessary pain and tears. I would have understood why my mom would shift from my sweet mom, to hurting me to the core, and why she started sleeping so many hours in a day. I would have understood why she would have certain days where she would do laundry until everything was washed and ironed and how she made sure to tell me all she did (almost like proving to me she was still so strong), then for the next 2 days I would have to nurse her back to health. It's called "showtime". A person with LBD really doesn't have control over it. This book really helps you understand how the mind is like a "filing cabinet", and why those with LBD are different from Alziemer's patients. At least I had this knowlege the last 3 months of moms' life, and I really believe it helped me handle things better. I understood what was happening to her and why she would do what she did. Even how she would get her clear mind back for a short time. Then "Lewy" would come back. I was able to recognize when "lewy" was there and when he was gone. The more info we have the better we are able to take care of our loved ones, and ourselves. That is why I am so thankful for this site.

My mom is always seeing kids and one of the first signs of problems with her was the delusions or hallucinations. She has several of the signs that was mentioned with LBD. My dad was diagnosed with LBD several years ago. He passed away in 2007.

I love these stories, they make me smile to think how funny it is, but it's not funny and it is such a horrid disease. Yes, my mother also saw children sleeping in her bed, but when I asked her to show me them, they weren't there, so I would say, they must have left out the front door and she was satisfied. Today she asked me to take a cup out of her hand, I did and she still kept her hand up with the imaginary cup asking me to take it, so I made believe I did and she laughed.

LightHealer, May I ask what you mean about the lies about Lewy Body Dementia? I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.

"Lewy Body Dimensia". Just another way to keep us all from knowing the truth of our immortality. Many lies have been spread to keep us in the dark. But this is all changing now. Love and Light!

My mom was seeing kids when her dementia hit hard. I thought it was because I have grandchildren and she was use to them. When we had to put her in the nursing home, the last 3 months of her life, she was seeing alot of "people". In her case, I believe she would see someone pass through the hall, or come into her room which was real....but then later she would "see" people talking, etc. It was all part of the Lewy Body Dementia. The week before she passed (the last day she was conscious", like Msdaizy's mom, my mom suddenly got up from the bed and was really trying to get up. She was so very weak, I couldn't believe she had the strength to even sit up. I asked her where she was going, and she said she wanted to make us a cup of tea (my best friend was with me at her bedside). I told her it was ok, Debbie would make the tea, just sit back to relax. Debbie told her, I'll make the tea, and she was satisfied. Mom wasn't seeing people at the very end, but she was concerned about where she was. She wanted to make sure she was in her room (at our house) even tho she was still at the NH.

I'm thinking that's what mom saw...after being in bed for a whole week and not eating or drinking. She had been bedridden and hadn't walked in two weeks. She stood up from her bed took her walker and put her pillow on it...and said. "Lets go I need to get in line, they're waiting for me?" I said "Who's waiting for you? Mom?" She says.."the people!" I think she was thinking about my dad and my sister and all her brothers, sisters, and mom and dad. I really think they see them before they go. This was 5 days before she passed away.

It has been documented for millennia and especially in the last 100 yrs or so that as we near the "other side" we actually intermingle with this dimension. Keep an open mind about these people and animals our loved ones perceive.
In Love and Light!

Kabeeena- Your mom might not realize at times that you are Karen. As Alzheimer's progresses, patients regress. She may not identify you, Karen, as a grown woman, but as a child. How could she have a middle aged child when she does not view herself as old? It does sound as though she's being a bit selective about who can boss her around! She sounds like a smart cookie.

Oops! I accidentally submitted my post without finishing! Here's the rest of the last sentence: "... feet." Somehow, he didn't see my feet as attached to me, so there was some kind of split, or division in his vision. He also was gesturing with a sweeping motion from side to side, not just directly at my feet, so maybe he saw numerous pairs of feet.

I certainly had more insight and understanding about his confusion and his odd behaviors after those moments. Has anyone else had the person they're caring for reveal something like this- multiplying of one person, or seeing people or things in separate parts- to them?

Now my mom is going through her own dementia, and she sees at least two, sometimes more dogs, when we only have one. She also sees several other people in the house, mostly "the young boy" and "those two girls", and other "Karens" (me). Sometimes, she asks, "Where"s Karen?" and when I say, I'm right here, mom", she says, "Not you! The other girl!" and if I say, "I'm Karen", she gets mad and says, "No, you're not!", and goes on calling, "Karen!....Karen!" She mostly does this one when she's mad at me, like, "Karen wouldn't do THAT (whatever she's mad at me for), that must not be Karen, Karen must be in another room."

It's harder for me to be patient with mom seeing all these other people, and other "me's" because I wasn't dad's caregiver, so it wasn't a constant thing for me to deal with, but now I'm mom's caregiver, and I have to deal with this stuff all the time, and also, she makes decisions, or resists what I need her to do based on what one of these "people" have "told" her to do, and sometimes I think she isn't really seeing one of them at the time but she is just using them to excuse something she has done or to give a reason she doesn't want to do what I want her to do. Like, if I'm trying to get her to take a shower, she'll say something like, "Well, those two girls told me to ......" (whatever, just not take a shower). But if I try to do the same thing, like tell her, "I talked to your mother today (her mother died 30 years ago, but mom spends a big part of each day trying to get out of the house so she can go see her mother), and your mother told me she wants you to take a shower before you come see her", she'll deny that I talked to her mother or that she said that. Oh, well, it was worth a try.

I dropped in to visit with my dad one day when my mom was out running errands. He said, "Thank goodness! A voice of reason in the middle of all this craziness!" Then he went on to tell me there were all these people in the house, in every room, always following him around and nagging at him, trying to take over the place and run things. He told me that one day, when he got fed up with arguing with them, he threw up his hands and said, "Alright! Go ahead and take over, run this place the way you want to, if you're so smart!" Then "they" just stood there staring at him, looking confused, and couldn't do anything. They didn't really know what to do, either. I asked him if he knew their names, and he said, "I think.... they're all.... Bobbie." That's my mom! Wow, did I get goosebumps!

I have two thoughts about what was going on with dad seeing multiple "Bobbies". Maybe, every time she left the room and came back in, he thought it was a different person till he eventually recognized her, so she was a new, unfamiliar person, but also Bobbie, so his mind registered her as both an additional person, and as "Bobbie". Or, maybe, his vision was fragmented, so he saw things like through a prism, or a caleidescope. I know there was some fragmenting, because one time I was leading him to the bathroom, I was holding both his hands and walking backward and he was walking forward. He suddenly stopped, and said, "I have to stop, or else I'll step all over that guy's feet!" (gesturing with his hand to point toward MY

Thank You all who have responded to my question! I thought to myself it would be interesting to get different stories on this subject to see how common it is. I try to listen to my Mom's conversations with an open mind. Sometimes I add input or ask questions, I want her to continue because I find it interesting. I also try to figure out if it's the Dementia, Medication, a different illness, etc. that causes the actions or reactions in her behavior. After reading these posts I'm starting to think the kids are spirits or angels just something perhaps that we can't see because or minds are cluttered with earthly mumbo-jumbo and we are not meant to see these sort of things.
My Mom always see's her Dad sometimes her Mom. Since I have become my Mom's caregiver, I have been accomplishing things that I never thought I could and I believe someone has been guiding me and been giving me strength and opening my mind to do what I needed to protect my Mom.
Call me crazy but I should have fallen apart long ago!!! Now I am here trying helping others, so I can keep other's from falling apart, almost as if it has been my life's mission all along.

The husband of one member of my local caregivers' support group frequently saw young children in his house. He was a minister, so maybe having various groups of children in his home was common when he was well. I don't know. But he was always concerned about their welfare. Why wasn't his wife setting extra places for them at the table? She always assured him that they were taken care of. "I gave them a snack and they are watching a nature show on TV until their parents come." These hallucinations were not threatening to him so she just went along with them.

This is so interesting! My mother had two miscarriages after I was born. Then she carried a baby for 6 months and in those days (1960's), with his lungs not being developed, he lived long enough to be baptized and then died. She is now 86 and has dementia. She FREQUENTLY has conversations with a young boy. Then I heard her tell "a curly blond haired girl" that she should know the boy because he is her brother and that next time he came she would introduce them! It may sound crazy, but I thought that maybe the babies who died are visiting her! Other times I have walked into her room and she will be having a conversation with someone...and she will see me and say-isn't she beautiful? Or aren't they cute? I just tell her that I missed them and that maybe next time I will come in in time to see them...She usually seems disappointed that I didn't see them, but she doesn't say they are still there. Wierd! This has gone on for a couple years off and on now! I think it is very interesting and I am happy to hear your stories! If I had my life to do over-I would have gone into like-geriatric psychology! This facinates me!

There is much to learn through the eyes of the ones who are going "HOME" to where we all come from. The closer they get to what you call "The Other Side", the more they try to reveal. Use your own judgement in this. The "Other Side" is only a dimension away.