Who are the kids or children? My Mom with dementia always see's "the kids" I am just wondering how many others experienced this?

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I have heard of several others who have Dementia that also see children or kids. Thought it is common enough to start a discussion about this topic.

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My MIL just turned 85 this past month. She was diagnosed with dimentia 10 yrs ago.
For the first yr after her husband passed I traveled back n forth weekly to visit her and to take her shopping n to her doctors appointments as she didn't drive. After a yr of doing this I realized she just wasn't capable of living alone, she would forget to eat, take her meds etc even with me calling her three to four times a day to remind her. I finally told my husband that she had to come live with us.
Over the years her memory has increasingly gotten worse and of course our lives have completely changed because she has no desire to go shopping or movies or do anything..
In the last 3-4 months mom has started hallucinating. She will come to our room in the middle of the night asking where are we going ? Or did you call me or ask me if I'm ok, she thought she heard me call her name. I tuck her in at night like a child hug n kiss her n tell her how much I love her and she tells me the same. She usually sleeps sound from about 8:30 p to around midnight, then it all starts. She claims people are outside asking her to let them in or coaxing her to come go with them. We've had to put alarms on all the doors for fear of her wondering off in the middle of the night. The door alarms didn't dissuade her so now we have an eye set on her bedroom door that alarms next to our bed when she opens her bedroom door . This alarm goes off 4-5 times a night after midnight. She's always looking for someone who is either calling to her or trying to find someone who was just in her room.
The past couple weeks it's been a woman or a young girl she's been seeing and searching for. She claims that they call her by name and ask her if she's coming with them or if she's ready to go ? It's really scary for me to know she's goring through this especially knowing there's nothing I can do about it..
Her doctors are aware of this and just tell me to go along with her on it not to argue or make her feel she isn't experiencing what she's speaking of. So I just tell her that they've left and will be back again because they felt she needed her rest more than taking the trip. She seems to experience the hearing of voices more at night but is very adimant about the fact that she Sees people during the day. Her hallucinations seem to be more frequent when she's just waking or relaxing.
She even calls me mom and refers to my husband her son as Dad... This disease is horrible and it's a thief in the night that robs people of their identity and their dignity.. such a sad situation when dealing with someone who suffers from this.
Moms doctors told me that during the course of this disease there comes a point when it affects the family and caregivers more so than the afflicted because their memory of who or what they are no longer exist but we are suffering through their loss each and every day until their passing..
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My MIL just turned 85 this past month. She was diagnosed with dimentia 10 yrs ago.
For the first yr after her husband passed I traveled back n forth weekly to visit her and to take her shopping n to her doctors appointments as she didn't drive. After a yr of doing this I realized she just wasn't capable of living alone, she would forget to eat, take her meds etc even with me calling her three to four times a day to remind her. I finally told my husband that she had to come live with us.
Over the years her memory has increasingly gotten worse and of course our lives have completely changed because she has no desire to go shopping or movies or do anything..
In the last 3-4 months mom has started hallucinating. She will come to our room in the middle of the night asking where are we going ? Or did you call me or ask me if I'm ok, she thought she heard me call her name. I tuck her in at night like a child hug n kiss her n tell her how much I love her and she tells me the same. She usually sleeps sound from about 8:30 p to around midnight, then it all starts. She claims people are outside asking her to let them in or coaxing her to come go with them. We've had to put alarms on all the doors for fear of her wondering off in the middle of the night. The door alarms didn't dissuade her so now we have an eye set on her bedroom door that alarms next to our bed when she opens her bedroom door . This alarm goes off 4-5 times a night after midnight. She's always looking for someone who is either calling to her or trying to find someone who was just in her room.
The past couple weeks it's been a woman or a young girl she's been seeing and searching for. She claims that they call her by name and ask her if she's coming with them or if she's ready to go ? It's really scary for me to know she's goring through this especially knowing there's nothing I can do about it..
Her doctors are aware of this and just tell me to go along with her on it not to argue or make her feel she isn't experiencing what she's speaking of. So I just tell her that they've left and will be back again because they felt she needed her rest more than taking the trip. She seems to experience the hearing of voices more at night but is very adimant about the fact that she Sees people during the day. Her hallucinations seem to be more frequent when she's just waking or relaxing.
She even calls me mom and refers to my husband her son as Dad... This disease is horrible and it's a thief in the night that robs people of their identity and their dignity.. such a sad situation when dealing with someone who suffers from this.
Moms doctors told me that during the course of this disease there comes a point when it affects the family and caregivers more so than the afflicted because their memory of who or what they are no longer exist but we are suffering through their loss each and every day until their passing..
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Saleymom, young children or small people are probably the most common hallucinations in dementia. My aunt (who never had dementia) saw children in her house when she had a uti.

My guess is that it has more to do with brain chemistry than previous residents of the house, or miscarriages, or personal meaning. A minister with LBD saw young children in his home all the time. His wife (in my local support group) simply reassured him. "I've already given them a snack, and their parents are picking them up soon, so they won't be joining us for dinner."

I think you are doing splendidly by reassuring Mom and not arguing with her. You don't need to figure out who this child is to continue doing that. Use this as an opportunity to praise your mom and make her feel good.

"Mom, you were such a great mother to me when I was little! I can understand why little girls want to hang around you. And it is so kind of you to be concerned about her. She has a good family, too, and she needs to send time with them. But I expect she'll be back."

One other suggestion would be to try a life-size baby doll (or a doll about the size and weight distribution of a baby, but the features of a toddler.) A quality doll like this can be found for about $100 or so. Much more expensive dolls are also available but they are generally "collector" dolls and not really meant to be handled a lot. Less expensive dolls available at discount stores are typically made to fit a little girl's arms. A life-size doll is more suitable for an adult.

When you give it to her say something like, "Since you are friends with a little girl, I thought this might be nice in your room." Or let her help you pick it out online, with the same reasoning. Don't tell her it is a baby. Whether she treats it like a toy or a baby or says her little friend plays with her -- however she relates to the doll, just go along with it. Take your cues from her. It may just wind up being an expensive decoration on her dresser, or it may help her express her nurturing instincts. If you or she can afford it, I'd say it is worth a try.
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Sorry that Mom is fretting, and that is so sad. It is also such a precious, delicate mind your Mom has, and needs to be protected. Hugs all around!
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Saleymom, it is you. Mom its me, I grew up! She may never remember. Does she know your name today?
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freqflyer, I know it's not the house because she just recently came to live with me full time back in October and before that when she would come visit me at special occasions she would do the same thing. She doesn't drive so when it was time to leave with whomever she got a ride with, she would look for the little girl and insisted on not leaving her behind. We would just say she got a ride with someone else and that she is fine and she would calm down. She still does that when we go to the grocery store. When we get back to car she always asks for the little girl and how we can't leave her in the store, because she will be lost. I have asked her many times for her name and she says she can't remember, so I ask her to describe her, she says she is a skinny little girl, I ask her does she have short or long hair, she says I don't remember if she had braids in her hair. I have told her that her sister picked her up, my aunt, she used to take care of us when we were little, so I call my aunt and I tell her to say she is with her and she is ok. It helps for a little. She did grow up with 9 sisters and a lot of girl cousins.
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Saleymom - your story broke my heart - your poor mom, so worried about the little girl! Since your mom doesn't know her name. I'm assuming something like this suggestion wouldn't upset her more - have you tried saying "her mom came and picked her up" or something to that effect to keep your mom from fretting?
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Saleymom, that is very interesting what your Mom is doing. The first thing that came to mind was a ghost of a child who had previously lived in the house decades ago. And the ghost feels comfortable around your Mom. Do you live in an old house? Or on a property that once had an old house?

If not a ghost, maybe it's your Mom as a child or a sister [if she had any]. A childhood friend... or the child is you.

It would be fascinating to find out from your Mom what is the child's name.
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My mom always sees a little girl. She comes out of her room and asks, where did she go? I ask who, she says my little girl, she was just talking to me and then she disappeared. She goes outside, worried, because the little girl is only 4, so she says, and where could she have gone? She starts crying and is deeply worried for her. I try everything to take her mind off of it but she continues looking. I am her only daughter, but I wonder if she had a miscarriage that I don't know about or is she just looking for me as a little girl? She can never say what her name is, just that it's her little girl.
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