My 79-year-old (almost 80) grandma is starting to have issues staying home alone. She is experiencing anxiety attacks, is unable to keep her thoughts in order, is easily confused or losing a thought mid-sentence. She recently ran a red light and was t-boned by an oncoming car. As Grandma drives basically a tank she was unharmed but someone in the other car was hurt. She has no other health problems other than mental and tiredness. I am the only living relative in the state and she doesn't get along so well with her 2 sons, 1 of whom is in Hawaii and another is 1500 miles away. I love my grandma and we have offered her the opportunity to come live with us in our finished basement where she would still have privacy and yet we would be much closer to, obviously, and she would have people around more often. My grandma is an extremely independent woman but the last 3 months have left her very shaken and concerned. I am in my 30s with a 12-year-old and a 6-year-old at home with a husband in the reserve AF which means he can be gone at times...usually around 2 to 3 weeks at a time but not all that often. I also work 40 hours a week, 4-10 hour days and am gone for about 12 hours on those days.
Assisted living is pretty much out of the question money wise and I feel that it is a families job to care for their family members. I have many questions including what having grandma with us will cost us financially, she will help out as she can, what it will cost emotionally, and what I should expect as she gets older. She very likely will be someone who simply dies in her sleep but who knows.
I have tons of other questions but don't know how to word them. Any ideas, support would be appreciated.