Sorry u r going thru this but food for thought, my mother was told the same almost 15 years ago when she was diagnosed with CHF! Don't jump into anything too quick that you can't get out of...
Steady on a second - that 20-25% figure, there, is that her ejection fraction? Because if so, that doesn't equate to a fifth to a quarter of normal heart function; it represents the amount of blood that the heart pumps out with each beat. Normal is 55% and upwards (and yes I did have to check that!).
So it's possible that your mother's heart function (while I'm not pretending it's good) is not quite as bad as you were perhaps thinking?
Then the next bit: moving her in with you. Why do you feel that will become necessary, exactly? Where is your mother living now, and what sort of support does she have?
My advice is not to move her in with you if you can avoid it. Think long term as her function deteriorates. How many weeks, months are you willing to nurse her 24/7? Will you hire in help?, how will this affect your family/friends/relationships and ability to do things? Will you still be able to have vacations?, family activities?, visiting grandchildren?, attending events? -- THink very hard on this.
Are there other ways you can spend quality time with mom over the next few years without being primary caregiver? Is time better spent getting her in the mindset to accept outside care in her home setting? Talking to hospice now and knowing what your options will be in the future?; doing more meaningful trips/outings with her while she still can -- while both of you maintain your independence? Are there ways to get her help/services while she can remain in her home?
I think the best person to speak with is her cardiologist. Ask pointed questions and for their opinion on whether Mom can continue to live on her own (and for how long). You need an educated and experienced "guess" from someone who knows her medical history and ability to care for herself, if she is doing so at this point, and her prognosis. Explore ALL your options for caregiving, including a skilled nursing facility and health care in her home. Will you need to make modifications to your home? I truly believe your first step is to speak with her health care team.
If she is able to live on her own allow her the dignity to stay in her own home as long as possible. It was very important to my Mom to be in her home with her belongings that she worked for her entire life. She made it in her home until 94 with lots of help from me. I would go there 3 times a day and help her. Once you move her in with you your entire freedom goes away. Hope this helps.
Excellent advice above. Most who move an elderly parent in with them have the best of intentions, but often discover that they are in over their heads very soon afterward. Your freedom will be seriously curtailed if not stopped altogether. Even the most patient caregivers can begin to resent the situation and sometimes, even their parent. As the others mentioned, do you have a contingency plan if you become overwhelmed? Can you bring in help, and is bringing strangers into your home acceptable to you? What other obligations do you have in your life? Do you have an exit strategy if the situation becomes unbearable?
Please think good and hard before you move her in with you. I'd recommend exhausting other options first.
All great advisement! You have your homework to do and education and knowledge will only empower you in your decision making. Caregiving is hard, physically and mentally. In a health crisis most will say we don't want to become dependent, but it happens, we do, not our intent to hear bad news. Our loved ones may need us; they trust us, are frightened of what's to come, who wouldn't be? We are there, most, and instincts seem to kick in, on what we do, how much and for how long. You need to consult with your mom's doctors, possibly together, hear what's to happen down the road. Start considering and discussing what's best for all. There will be many options to consider, finances entering the picture as well. "No place like home," may be true but must be thought thru carefully. It's hard to see our loved one ill, with any illness there can be personality changes, it's a 24/7 responsibility and even with help you will find yourself staying involved. You care, worry, strive to trust. This is your mom, who better, you will know, go with your decision. Stay strong and focused. God Bless
So it's possible that your mother's heart function (while I'm not pretending it's good) is not quite as bad as you were perhaps thinking?
Then the next bit: moving her in with you. Why do you feel that will become necessary, exactly? Where is your mother living now, and what sort of support does she have?
Are there other ways you can spend quality time with mom over the next few years without being primary caregiver? Is time better spent getting her in the mindset to accept outside care in her home setting? Talking to hospice now and knowing what your options will be in the future?; doing more meaningful trips/outings with her while she still can -- while both of you maintain your independence? Are there ways to get her help/services while she can remain in her home?
Second, what is your situation? Are you at home all day? Do you have family there to support YOU while you are supporting her?
What are the "other problems? Can she be left alone while you go to the store, for example?
Please think good and hard before you move her in with you. I'd recommend exhausting other options first.
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