footssy Asked July 2010

My mother's caregiver at her residential home doesn't want her to have hospice, but we as family do. How do we resolve this issue?

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what can we do when our caregiver for our mother (who has end stage Alzheimer's with Cheyne Stokes respirations) does not want to have hospice Our caregiver owns the residential hoome where our mother resides. The caregiver does NOT want hospice, we as a family DO want hospice. How do we resolve this issue?

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hapfra Jul 2010
Footsy-after reading your question--I would say that if- an advance directive has been put into place by your Mom, and a POA has been appointed...most likely, and legally, this is who gets to make the final decision.
Hospice is a very good organization, and I used this when my Mom was at end stage AD. I also had POA, that that possibly made a difference.
I do understand that the Alzheimer's Association have a legal department, and are equipt to reply to this question. Ther hotline number is (800)_ 272-3900.You can alco contact your local council on aging as well.
Good luck!
Hap
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DonnaG Jul 2010
Sounds like a tough one. Others may know the legal side of this. I do not. I had a friend whose uncle was in a similar situation, with his relatively recent wife not wanting any involvement from his family and with her making medical decisions the family did not believe to be in best interest of the uncle.

What is the caregiver's objection to hospice? Does he/she not want strangers in the house? Is there denial about your mother's health status? Are you certain the caregiver's not right? Might a doctor/nurse be able to talk with the caregiver and convince of the need for hospice? Do you know some folks who have experienced hospice who could talk with the caregiver and share what a positive it is for all? Just some thoughts.

Does the caregiver have power of attorney or is he/she the person designated to make medical decisions for your mother? If not, I'm thinking you can trump the caregiver,,,,,but that's a last resort, methinks. You want the least distress for your mother, I'm sure. Is it possible to have a calm conversation and hear the caregiver out, and have her/him hear you out? Is there an outside party (pastor, friend, doctor) who might help? Hoping you can reach a peaceful agreement that all can support.
Best of luck.
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