What can caregivers do when they are being abused by the elder they are caring for?

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What kind of information are you looking for? I would need more information to answer my thoughts.
Blessings Bridget
last december refuses to take her meds, the doctor told her many times,one night she had a tatum and i was trying to calm her down she had the phone cord rapped around her neck trying to take it off of her,she pulled my hands away from me. she was upsetting my dad which he has dementia, i beg her to get some medicine for him she wont she in dianal.. i call the cops on her because of her behavior it back fired I had to spent A day in jail i was release with a small bond. after three courts dates i won on a mistermeaner. two months later the state didnt like that and turn it into a felony 3 im now have a two year probation 1200 hours and anger management which i'm a very passive person but i'm having problems with my probation officer he twisted my words around making me look bad he thinks i disrespect my parents which i'm not. my mother has mental problems and emotheral. as well. she is a drama queen , she claims she in pain or somthing else she yells at me and my dad and treats him like sh*t she should be in anger mangerment class. i will leave it like this for now theres more. i would like to have proof that family member get abruse from their parents. thank you
Have you spoken to her doctor about her anger issues? He may not listen to you now, but another family member could speak to them and let them know she is out of control. Google the question and see what you locate. Hopefully others on here can help you, I am sure it happens, just depends if it is reported.
What country do you live in? If this is in the U.S. and you were jailed for heresay evidence without a trial, I would like to know. If you DO live in the U.S. and this is possible to happen to someone, then get the heck away from your parents. Let them deal with this stuff on their own, or you are going to end up with a record and prison time eventually. And for nothing.
And if you are NOT in the United States, then my advice would be the same. Get the heck away from your parents. You can help them from afar and not get jailed in the process.
Oh my gosh I just read your profile and you ARE in America!! I'm flabbergasted that our justice system is so flawed to automatically take the word of an old demented person over the care taker without further investigation. Find yourself a good lawyer and have your record expunged. This is nonsense.
This might seem like a strange kind of "support", but I think you have too much faith in both the legal and medical systems.

Medically, the chances that there is a magic pill somewhere that will turn your mother into someone who is fair, reasonable and "good" are not very high. Last year, about a million people received electroshock therapy. Even though the doctors know that it has no long term benefits and has recently been shown to cause permanent brain damage (in rats, that is), they zapped them anyway.

My point is that some people are just "broken" and no cure is presently known.

Legally, even if you had two briefcases full of proof that elders can in fact abuse their family caregivers, if there are no laws in place to provide a remedy, you will probably be wasting time, money and energy, and you might get boomeranged again even worse than before.

That might sound gloomy, but I think you have to decide if you are trying to help your father, your mother, yourself, or what. Try to imagine what you would actually like to happen, and then figure out if it is possible. Don't expect too much from the authorities because laws to help family caregivers are probably decades away.
Top Answer
There is a "witch hunt" on caregivers. No matter how twisted or criminal the elder is the caregiver is to blame at this point. We can thank AARP for that. They have lobbyists too & are affecting the laws made. We on the other hand are kept under the thumbs of our elders and it seems they canm abuse us however they see fit.
I would advise you run as fast and hard as you can. Get a restraining order against your parents if possible. Depending on the state you reside in, you may have responsibilities to your parents under the law. Move from that state. If they have put you in jail already, then they are beyond your care anyhow. Let the state which put you in jail take care of them.
My husband , 10 year old son and myself live with my aging mother. She will be 84 this year. She has lots of issues from the past : war years in Poland and issues with her own sister and other family members. I've been looking after my mom for the last 7 years: paying bills, taxes, groceries, preparing all meals, and cleaning etc.
I was happy in the beginning to look after her. She only thanks me for taking the garbage out. She thinks i
I'm a horrible mother
and dont know anything about life. Her house is half in my name and half in hers because she wanted to settle her will. She hates it when we try to change something with the house like new windows, new furnace etc. I just put up a trampoline for our son the other day and she flipped out claiming this is her house and we should listen and do as she says and that we never asked her permission for setting the trampoline up. My husband doesnt own a piece of this house yet he renovates, cleans and pays for everything. She never thanks him for the things he does. I'm frustrated and feeling abused verbally.
I'am in a situation were i have my mom and her friend who moved in a 1 year and a half ago. Her friend has went down hill kind of quick and is now bedridden, and she and what seems to be a community has stuck us to take care of her. You can hear the bitterness in that statement. Let me say this first , i have had trouble with the law and have a record and the last thing this two ladies lied and got me in trouble for was elderly abuse charge. (i plea bargained because taking it to trial would of kept me in jail months longer and i couldn't prove without a reasonable doubt , so they trick me into pleading guilty. "We will let you out today if you plea guilty and give you probation .") which i ended up with anger mangerment and probation. -- now done with my sentence. but pissed that i had to plea guilty. The judicial system that is another story... so now they are kind of relying on me . which i have been scared from the begininng . They used to joke that they could just make something up and get me arrested. -- which i didnt find funny . Well i'm in a situation that i'm being manipulated . they have gotten a list of the signs of eldery abuse and have play them out . i'm scared and feel threaten and have suffered undue stress. and i'm not getting compensated for the care that i do do. i have boycotted them. it seems that they are being coached. maybe there is no funding for elderly that is just needing help unless they have been abuse . prop 47 has victim restitution , but they have to be a victim. maybe this is why i feel like ii'm being set up. they seem scripted at times . and use reference words or phrases i know they don't know. like "pushing buttons" also the lady living with us doesn't pay a dime for rent , food , nothing and she gets 2500.00 a month . she acts senile key word being acts i'm being abused. but they are going to get public sentiment. everybody gets funding . and i lose forget the social system it is all about money. and acquiring assets
Okay. WTH are people being charged with elder abuse then FORCED to go back and care for them? Obviously, the authorities don't believe there was ever any abide of they should NOT put people back to suffer the abuse at the hands of elders. What is wrong with this country that people are literally FORCED against their will to take care of elderly who did not plan for their own futures? If this country can pay the way for illegals and refugees, why can't it afford to take care of our elderly AND veterans? All this emotional BS about "you take care of them because you love them" is illogica. Narcissistic, abusive parents and relatives do NOT magically turn into little old men and women. They only get worse!!! If the elderly need 24/7 care, they need to be in a medical facility PERIOD!!! I'm experiencing abuse at the hands of both my in laws now. They can manipulate my husband because they've a used him his entire life. I'm disabled, too--but no one wants to here my view or asks my permission for anything even though I own half my home, along with my husband. The in laws have taken over 3/4 of the house. I only have my bedroom and private bath, and there untrained yaps dog has ruined the carpet even in my only "safe" zone. The issue of elders abusj g caretakers MUST be recognized and addressed! My only recourses be divorce, or at least a legal separation. No one should ha e their home taken over by any one else.

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