Why am I always the one stuck spending my weekend at my mom’s while the POA and her family keep going out of town?

Follow
Share

My sister has POA, and lives in my moms house. This will be their fourth trip out of town. Niece plays volleyball and is constantly in tournaments (out of town). Sister, brother n law, and the niece go on these trips, nephew (20) stays behind.

First time the care giver stayed, (I'm sure that cost a fortune). Since then they've narrowed it down to me coming during the day, and the "help" staying the night.

This weekend they are leaving again, and mom called and asked me to stay with her. Said the "help" can't work. Yeah right cost too much money at $20.95 per hour, I know the real deal.

Problem is I already told my mom that I am having a yard sale this weekend. I've been preparing for it 1 1/2 weeks, organizing, making signs and pulling out old stuff. On top of that I have to pick up my youngest son from his restaurant in the wee hours of the morning.

Now I'm in a bind. Talk about manipulation.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
45

Answers

Show:
1 2 3 4 5
Amen, you might see her glory but you don't know her story!

Also, POA does not mena you have to take care of a person physically all by yourself. I have both medical and durable POA for my 78 year old mother who is in a rest home. Right now I'm cleaning up 6 years of financial stuff kept secret by her and my 86 year old step-dad. Thank God, my step-dad does not have POA. I visit my mother, keep a sharp eye on the nursing home staff, make sure she gets the medical care she needs, pay her bills, keep in touch with her long term health care insurance as well as I've made sure to collect all of her important legal and financial papers which includes her will, etc. I'm on disablity myself and so is my wife plus we are raising teenage boys. Neither I or my wife could do anything physically in terms of caring for my mother, but I can use the POA to make sure she is safe, she is cared for and protect her money from people who have already tried to get some from her, but her doctors declared her incompitent last May and put those statemens on papers that are noterized.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

spcarpenter I have several post on this site. This is only one. In order to understand how I've arrived, you need to understand where I've been.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I didn't know that being a POA meant you had to take care of a person physically all by yourself. If other children are involved, they SHOULD help, but not be forced to help if they have other plans -unless an agreement is worked out that Jane goes on certain days and Mary goes on certain days, etc. and possibly trading off ever-so-often. Your mother is mother to both of you. POA is not a bundle of fun in itself. It comes with a lot of other responsibilities as well as care giving. Of course some of the children won't help, no matter what, which makes a bigger burden for the ones that do help. If you can't help on a certain day, say so and don't feel guilty.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Good for you, Pamela! Happy for you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Quite a lot happened last night, most of which I won't display here, I'd rather keep it private but know that my mom, sis, and I are all good.

Thank you one and all and I certainly am still on cloud 9.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pam -if you sister used you Mom's money for anything not for her care she will have to pay it back there is a 5 yr. look-back period and her money will have to be accounted for so if she is being sneaky it will come back to bite her very quickley it is amazing what the powers to be can find out about our activities so sister dear is not getting away with anything let us know how the showdown went-and I love all you guys even though I have not be on too much lately-I want to be available to my son who has a bump in the road right now-you are all in my mind and thoughts Pam keep up the good work sometimes us girls need to get b---- and girl you got them.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

me too, just try not to let your sister see you sweat. Congratulations on your progress!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hope that what sister spouted was a farce and there is actually monies for dear ole mom's golden years.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pamela, Good for you calling a meeting with your sister! I am proud of you! I know you don't want to deal with it, but sounds like someone needs to be proactive. It was great the way you handled your mom concerning this, too! I know you'd rather go sailing, etc., but I applaud you taking charge here, and demanding an accounting. Let heads roll! I definitely think she should be accountable, since you are a legally "interested party." She should not have control of your mom's finances without a check and balance system. And this has got to be so upsetting to your mother. I understand it is to you. We hate to see our loved ones suffer or be taken advantage of. What a pity. I hope you get some good results from the showdown. Will be praying for a good outcome for all concerned. Keep your cool, sister! She who keeps her emotions in check wins when things get heated. Do I detect sweating? I hope your sister complies. You hang in there, and let us know how things turn out. I think you're doing the right thing.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you Ed. I'm so glad someone understands this reversal of fortune!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions