While my husband was deployed, my in-laws moved in. We didn't realize they had permanent expectations. How do we help transition out?
My husband's one-year deployment is about up and he will be returning home to me, our daughter and his parents. The have very limited income, only social security between them is about $1000/mo and my FIL is working about 30 hours a week making minimum wage. When they moved in, we thought it was temporary until they got on their feet and were able to live on their own. It has been stressful at times and a blessing at times. Now that my husband is coming home, I am torn. I do not look forward to group weekends and evenings 24/7. I feel as if we are financially obligated and responsible for taking care of them to include a home, utilities, food..... I would not have a problem with this if it had a time cap on it. But the indefinite, unknown is driving me nuts. It has already created arguments with my husband and he isn't home yet. His opinion is that his parents can stay as long as they would like. My fear is that will be the next 10-20 years and then my parents may come knocking on our door and we will then be obligated to take care of them too. They do not contribute to expenses. They initially offered to and we told them to put that towards getting back on their feet. They haven't saved a dime. Their dog constantly barks and recently pulled my mother in law down and bruised her wrist and caused a laceration on her finger when she was trying to walk her. Her skin and bones are frail and that schnauzer is too hyper for her to handle. i am worried that the next thing will be a broken hip. This should not be my worry but it is. I tried to explain this to them and offer up suggestions on training the dog (which they don't have the money for) or to find a schnauzer rescue group, which I did but my FIL got mad and told me it was not any of my business. I told him she didn't need to walk the dog anymore and the he needed to or that myself or my daughter would. Again he said she would be fine and it was none of my business. I am tired of the tension and the stress. I have lymphoma and stress aggrivates it. I just want our life back. We have a mother-in-law house attached by the back porch that they live in, but they complain of the size, th noise, the musty smell... despite not paying a dime toward utilities, mortgage, etc. Most nights we eat dinner together (which I cook and generlly use the groceries I bought). I know they have limited funds but surely there is another option for us.