darrobertson Asked April 2011

My mother has dementia and is often confused when I wake her. She has to get up at 7:00 am daily to go to adult day care. Is this too much for her?

Follow
Share

My mother is 96. She has lived with us for 7 years. She goes to Adult Day care everyday.I have to wake her a 7 AM. Is this too much? She has dementia and is often confused when I wake her. I just don't want to appear to be cruel or harsh getting her up and dressed so early. She does well at the day care. She has sundowners most afternoons; could this be because she is tired from the day? Sure don't want to make things any worse ; she can be very difficult. Please voice opinions; I really enjoy having the day free.
Thanks,
Carol

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
20

Answers

Show:
PCVS Nov 2014
Each situation is different. My mother has always been a morning person and in general getting her up at 7:00 am works for her, but when she doesn't want to get up we let her stay in bed until we see that she is ready. But things change. Now she only goes to daycare 4 days a week with Thursdays and weekends off. We do have to stay to something of a schedule because of the HHA help that has set hours.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Wolly, have you been to your primary care doctor and voiced your concerns? Do you have anyone else like siblings or children who are concerned about your welfare?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

wollybully Nov 2014
I'm 71 female and have had a slight stroke 18months ago. In the morning upon
arising I can't get it together, I stroll around the house and can't decide what to do first. and losing things like cell phone and coffee cup etc. I think I'm getting
alzeimers or dementia Also my driving is affected in the morning WOLLY1
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

arniethek1 Jan 2013
My 93-year old mom is afflicted with mid-stage Alzheimer's. She sleeps 12 or more hours every night and rarely awakens before 9 a.m. We let her sleep as late as she likes. When she does eventually arise, she needs time to gather herself. To avoid agitation and confusion we allow plenty of time for her to shower, dress and eat breakfast. As a result, I do not schedule any medical appointments or formal activities such as day care until after lunch. This scheduling has been working well for us. I just can't hustle her out the house in the morning to meet someone else's schedule.But every case is different. Each caregiver has to determine what works best for their patient.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

drsharyn Jan 2013
My 96 year old mom is in middle stages of AD . She is high functioning in daily living skills , has the energy, mobility and appearance of a 60 year old. Our real concern right now is that when she gets up from sleep either in the Am or after a nap, she is extremely confused. She cries bitterly that she doesn;t know where she is ( her home in Canada or in Florida) and says that she " cannot live like this". After 30- 60 minutes she is back to herself with no memory of this anxiety. It is so distressful to us, her children, to see her so upset. Has anyone had this experience? She takes 75 mg. of effixor in the morning and 15 mg of exelon patch. Thank you! Sharon
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

N1K2R3 May 2011
One of the great things about retirement, and old age is the fact that you can go to bed when you want and rise when you want. Soon, an elderly person finds themselves on a "schedule"....they get sleepy at the same time everynight, and they wake up about the same time every morning. That said, why in the world would you want to force your mother out of bed at 7:00 a.m. (ungodly), and take her to adult day care? Somebody is being selfish, and it ain't her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thanks for all the comments. I should have said that I take my fourteen year old daughter to school in the mornings. We go past the day care so I take my Mother there on the way home. They serve breakfast until 8:45. My mother likes eating breakfast there and the food is quite good. With the price of gas, this is more convenient and I am able to get Mother there in plenty of time. We do this 5 days a week. I think it is remarkable that my Mother can keep up ; I don't want to wear her out. Yes, she can sleep at the day care. They have several recliner type chairs. Again thanks for your interest and this forum.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

lcs Apr 2011
Braida, I am like you - if I reach the age of 96 I hope I don't HAVE to get up at 7 AM. I am wondering if the elderly at the daycare get a chance to sleep during the day and, if so, do they get to lie down or do they sleep sitting up in a chair? My mom longed to go back to bed after being made to sit up for awhile. My husband, at age 71, needs his afternoon nap (preferably in his bed) every day so this is why I am wondering how much sleep during the day is allowed at the daycare.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

NancyH Apr 2011
I think I might try an alarm clock instead of waking her. Sometimes people are so used to hearing that stupid alarm, that it's second nature to know you have to get up. It's worth a try I think.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Braida Apr 2011
Hi Darrobertson. I see everyone has said they think it's good what you're doing, but I think your Mom, at 96 years old, if at all possible, deserves to sleep in a little bit. (And I did say if at all possible.) Why does she have to get up at 7AM? Is there some time limit on when she can go to the care center? Would it be possible to get her there at 9AM and still have most of the day free for yourself, and allow your Mom to get another hour of sleep or slower awakening? I just am putting myself in your Mom's shoes, and if I was 96 years old, I sure wouldn't like being hustled around too fast in the mornings. I hate it myself, and I'm only 62. :) Just a thought.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Related
Articles

Related
Questions