How do we tell my mother-in-law that we are putting her in a nursing home?

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My husband and I have decided after 6 yrs of taking care of his mother to put her in a nursing home. The question is how do we tell her? She does not want to go.

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Expert Answer
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No matter how you tell her, she won't want to go. She will likely try to make you feel too guilty to do it. If you have looked around and found the best place for her, then you need to act like it's a done deal.

Tell her you love her and that she needs more care than you can give her. Tell her you'll still be caring for her, but with more help and she'll have peers to visit with. Try to be with her as much as you can during the transition, take as many personal objects as you can for her room, and then visit as often as you can. You'll be her advocate.

This won't be easy. You already know that. But you've done a great deal, and if the time has arrived where this is the best move, then do so with love, and drop the guilt. Be ready for resistance. Deal with it and help her, but don't let her abuse you.


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