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my mom is 80 and living with my brother and his wife. I and my 2 sisters help getting her to appts and such. we all live within a reasonable driving distance from each other. mom has become frail, has had a stroke (minor) and has chf. the problem: she has not updated her trust since her husband died 10 years ago, sold the house and has maybe 50 -75k left from it, overspends credit cards when she gets a chance - and will not sign a poa! I worry about the ramifications if she has another, more serious stroke with no poa in place. ideas? of course she's stubborn!

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How frustrating and an expression of her fear of loosing control. About the time she's ready to sign the POA's, it will most likely be too late. Did a lawyer write up the POAs? Does your mom have a lawyer? Most lawyers have someone authorized as a notary in their office. That might be less threatening than signing something at a bank. Also, there are some notaries who will drive to you. I wish you the best in this frustrating situation.
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well folks, she still won't sign! says she isn't ready. I give up. I'm glad she's already sold the house so that won't be an issue.
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Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thank you all for your input! I took mom to her dr. today because of her edema and at the end I asked him if he thought it important that she have a poa. He got this flabbergasted look and said absolutely! So mom and I talked about it some more over lunch and my brother is to take her to the bank tomorrow to get it notarized!!
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Ok this is a longshot but nothing beats a failure but a try! My Mom had a crush on her Dr. who is a cutie and sweet, also the police officer I had to call often due to her escape actions, and also my Boss anyone one of these men she would listen to without any ? , is there anyone she is like that with and also when she signs you don't have to be there even if POA is given to you only your Mom, a notary and a witness. Maybe get a lawyer that is handsome. Or get the lawyer to write papers and mail them to you and she can go to notary with your brother if she trusts him. Make sure papers are worded specifically stating everything you need to do, name of trust and what you clearly need to do even address changes ,for example, I had an obsticle and needed to redo papers in order for the company to accept her papers even thought they stated I could but it did not name the account specifically. If your having this problem about her signing you don't want to have to do it again. Good Luck
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If you don't get the POA's you need, conservatorship or guardianship will be the only option. This can cost alot of money. Legal fees, court fees, and then some family member can contest the guardianship and you have to fight them. I feel so sorry for you. I am at my wits ends trying to get my Mom to understand that she is putting me in a bad position. She doesn't even have a Medical Directive, I gave up on that one. If we are lucky my brother will be able and willing to do everything and not because I "won't" do it, because she won't let me. Someone posted on this site that they spent 25,000 dollars getting guardianship for their parent!!!! Tell her this and maybe that will shock her into doing something. This seems high to me but it can cost thousands. :(
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Guardianship involves going to court, dragging your parent before everyone on the witness stand; getting doctors to say she's incompetent to handle her affairs in a business like manner and why, etc.
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Good Luck, been trying to get Mom to put me as an alternate on her stuff for 3 years, just in case my brothers dies. Don't really want to be on anything for her but check out how hard and expensive it is to get guardianship. And if the courts have to appoint one the court apointed guardian charges alot of money per hour to do everything. Explained this to Mom and she still won't budge, she thinks everyone wants her money, she is paranoid and lies alot. She will tell a lie then over time she starts to believe it, and no she is not crazy ,....yet. geeeeez
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Oh, which of you three children is she the nearest to and trusts the most. BTW, do make sure that your mom gives both durable and medical POA.
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Is there a trusted friend near her age, a family lawyer or her doctor who can talk with her. Sometimes, people will hear something from an objective third party that they will not hear from anyone else.
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