I'm taking care of someone abusive to me. How do I cope with this type of caregiving?
i take care of a person with eye problems, i dont know what his problem is, i came in after he had some surgery, i have been giving care to this person[lets call z] for the past 19 months, i cook for z, in the morning, i cant sleep late, have to be up early cook for him, z has to have breakfast, i cook, then get me eye docs, he is going to call from 9 to like 4.30, sometimes calls like four to 5 times to the same person, within like 40 minutes, and most times z is going to say that # is not working, i have to find the #s online or hear foul language, z dial it wrong, he has to have his food at around 1.45 -2.25 pm, again i cook, all day z is watching tv, from 7.15 to all the way to evening news, after that z goes to sleep around 8.30, mostly z sleeps on the living sofa, z has to be told 3 times before z wakes up and sits down on the sofa, z acts like the phone calls are going somewhere, like z is doing this and that, sometimes z is gone with the ride that comes to pick z up, gone most days, never seen z do to the ride what he does to me, z calls from the cell phone during that time like every 40 min, this routine goes on for 7 days, anytime z make mistakes z blames me, z calls the ride and let the woman know what i did, how bad the food was, or what i did wrong, i did not connect the call fast enough or i gave wrong #s, or i didnt answer the calls this and that, sometimes every hour during the weekday, z shouts loudly uses foul language, in the morning z get up on saturday see my belongings anything and throws into trash, i has cameras, my clothes, my belongiongs, my money, everything, i have two old clothes, one bra, i have not change in 6 months, i wash and wear it, i dont know what i have done wrong, i get hit in the head by z lots of time, i dont get paid a penny just do the work for home, he calls the ride and tell everything, i am afraid, he has thrown away all my belonging, clothes, and shouts very loudly and hit me, i have no underpants, none for the past year, everything is thrown away, yesterday friday i left early to find blind caregiver group or discussion, so i could ask some Qs, i was frighten, afraid, this mornign saturday i was kitchen early cooking, z comes over hits me on the head with knuckles, throws food away, i have nowhere to go, no outside job, no one who will help me, no church will help me, i have no ids, i have a ticket i have not cleared, z throw away ids, and tickets, i dont know what to do, i read once: a lady was arrested in Fla. coz the person she was caring for called 911 during dinner time for some arguments, z ride owes me money $778, a year ago igave the ride the paper of the amount of work i did for a relative of ride[ride gets relatives into U.S. and make them citizen by setting up marriages, etc., z says dont give me money i will run away, ride has not paid me, ride is at 5700 lindley av, i have to take buses to go there to drop the paper to write that please pay money, i am afraid i dont know what to do, once ride put me into hospital by calling and saying false words, they took my urine found nothing, i am afraid ride will do again, i will be arrested coz i have not cleared my ticket, when i take z outside for walk, and ask z to walk in a straight line z walks in opp direction towards the other side of the road, and then i have to take arm and put z on the walkway. where while walking z hits the wall or grass, then z shouts loudly i did that to z, and what if z falls i did it i did it, then he comes home and calls ride and say what i did to z,
z is not senior, z says z call police on me, z says i[z] have medical problem that i[me] should feel caregiver or compassionate and take care of z, i need advice, i want to jump in the river and what the new york woman did, i have nowhere to turn to, no church, no relative, no family, no one, i dont know where to go, no money, just hit, just foul language, oh look how the other females are, look how they dress, look at you how you look ugly, i want to say back you threw my clothes away, my belongings, i cant coz i am sacred i will get hit in the head and hear more foul languages, he takes medicine and he threatens me to call police on me for he has medical condition, what i do i want to drown myself like the ny woman, i have no one to talk to, am i really bad, do you thing my killing myself i can get away from this hell