My mom was living in Florida until just the first of this month. Social workers were involved and wanted to put her in a nursing home in Florida because her ability to take care of herself and clean her home was non existing. She was falling all the time, and her home was so horribly dirty, in my opinion it should have been condemned. Anyways, I am her only option to take her in, or it would have been a nursing home, which she refused to go. I didnt want her to live with me because my home is a tri-level and I still need to work, and I don't want her to fall when I am not there. I knew that taking on this task would not be easy, but I couldn't just leave her high and dry in Florida, because she is my mom.
Anyways, to make a long story short, she is now living with me in Wisconsin, and we've done the best to set up the downstairs for her so it is safe. She has already been mouthy and stubborn and expects everything right away, and has yelled at me for leaving her home one night and not coming home for 6 hrs which my husband gave her the option to come along, but she didn't want to. We were out looking for a bed and couch for her and bought them with no thanks. She came to my home with a 6x12 trailer that was only partially full, because 90% had to be left behind because it was so dirty and smelled like cat pee. She is messy and has no respect for our home and it has only been 4 days that she has been here. She has thrown her walker down our steps and it smashed on the hardwood floors....which my husband did not appreciate. There are other things she has done as well, and I don't really want her here anymore. I know that sounds horrible, but the original plan was for me to stay home and take care of her and quit my job. She is a handful. I feel like I need to walk behind her constantly and catch everything she drops...food, drink, pills....she pulls poop out her butt, then touches other things in the bathroom....I cant handle all that. I have a big heart and love helping people, but I feel like I am going to be trapped and my life is being changed to drastically too quickly. She is incontinent, and everywhere she sits needs to be protected....I really want her to move into the senior apts up the road, but unfortunately there is an 18 mth waiting list. What can I do....am I trapped??? She is on SSI, so not much money, and no assets. I want my home back and my life. What do you do if you realize you've taken on more than you can handle??? Please help with any suggestions. I love her, but my sanity is at stake. I am a clean person and she is not. She says she is 81 and too old to change.