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Oh boy...She's angry with me now! In a perfect world it would be great if she was a willing participant to move to assisted living, however...she see's it as prison. Can't say as though I blame her...but what am I suppose to do. My 24yr old has to go on with his life...I can do this when I'm not working - its my job as her daughter, but he needs to move on and mom can't live alone 24/7. Sooo frustrating. The doctor did get the ball rolling with referrals but she refuses to go for any further evaluation. I'm sure she could get into a great assist living facility but she will have none of it. What's a daughter to do???UGHHHHHH!!!!!
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Even though their is a nursing home near you go for interviews at a few -they love to give interviews some nursing homes even have recruters go to hospitals to see pts. who are bing discharged shortly. That way you will have a better feel of what to ask when you see the one closest to you. Remember you will still be a big part of her life and will see you at your best-not being overwhelmed with working and her care all the time. It will take a large burden off of you.
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Thank you defer12. It's not easy. Lots of tears. But I just know that I have to keep her safe. I will still do everything for her and with her - it just won't be in her own home anymore. We tried to avoid this but I can't quit my job and care for her 24/7. Sounds like the right thing to do...but I have bills to pay.
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Austin is right. Her doctor knows her best and can get the ball rolling for you. You will need referrals etc. They can also set you up with the hospital social worker who can better explain the procedure. If you go to the ER, they may take her to the home from there right away. Might be better if you took her there with some of her things to get her situated. It will be scary for her even if she has dementia and is not too aware of her surroundings. Good luck! I know I will have to make the same decision some day. It's not an easy one!
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195Austin - Thank you. I have an appt. with her doctor today. He is aware of her condition but we just can't do it on our own anymore. So sad. I have talked with the nursing home less than a mile from me so I have an idea of what is to come and that this is what I need to do. The home did suggest that if I didn't go thru her doctor that I could go to the ER - I just didn't know how to really start this whole procedure so thank you again.
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Have her Dr. start the ER will not be much help and you may have to waite forever to be seen and most do not have social workers who would be able to help. You can start by visiting nursing homes in your area it is best to use one that is close to you-they are all state regulated and being able to go in at different times will give you a feel of how things are going when visiting ask to meet the social worker she or he will be a help with whatever paperwork you will need to do and her own doc is the place to start.
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