My grandmother was a dark cloud on our lives before she was elderly, and now she is our responsibility. How can we take care of someone who's negatively impacted our lives so much?
Living with an elderly person is not easy. My grandmother has just recently gotten ill but she has been mentally abusive to my mom and I for many years. Now that she's really getting old and losing basic abilities to care for herself, she expects us to take care of every little need, ordering us around and going into rages daily. She will purposely break anything that belongs to us, slam cabinets, and scream at us through our bedroom doors (and this was before her dementia got worse). She's recently lost the ability to control her bladder, and now we spend our days cleaning up after her. My mom is 61 and very tired as well as mentally exhausted from putting up with her abuse all her life. We don't have money to put her into a home (where she can get legitimate help) and have no money for the kinds of things she needs now (like medication and diapers). She was a dark cloud on our lives before she was elderly, and now she is our responsibility. How can we take care of someone who has negatively impacted our lives so much? It is NOT a "growing opportunity" for everyone.