How do I survive and maybe forgive abusive elderly parent?

Follow
Share

My wonderful mother finally convinced me she needed me to move back home to live with her. She was persuasive, So I did. I quit a wonderful government job (where they loved me) and moved back to the USA to move in with her.

My brother has his own apartment in the house and has done his best (really). My Dad died six months ago and my mother's hoarding has kicked up tenfold. In the space of two weeks my mother has changed into someone I don't know, she is vicious, hostile, lies non stop, and she has called every health care provider, lawyer, government agency she can contact to say my brother and I are abusing her. Evidently clearing up ( the garbage only), offering to pay all her debts and take over all expenses for the rest of her life makes us the worst children ever. And we were delicate about it, as she is losing her touch slowly but surely. She now states I have to move out immediately, she has changed her will and slandered my brother and I to every personal contact and our family. We are on the title so although awkward and quite scary sometimes, we are not going to be run out. She is articulate, presentable and a consumate community leader in public, but at home she's become bizarre and threatening. We look like the bad guys. Yesterday she removed the bed from my room. She refuses any kind of counselling. What happened?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Try the book by Susan Evans: Controlling People, how to recognize understand and DEAL with PEOPLE WHO TRY TO CONTROL YOU
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Slow learner, I wish I had an answer for you. I can only comment on what you say about how your mom presents herself in public and than at home... for me that was so frucstrating and hurtful. It filled me with so much anger and still does. I always feel like she is saving the best part of herslf fot strangers and treating her family so disgracefully. Everyday I go back though. Everyday, I try. I am not sure why or how I have the energy, but I guess I am a slow learner too. I wish you good luck. I am sorry that you and your brother are going through this.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

She needs to be seen by her doctor immediately! Best of luck.

My Mother is the best in the world to everyone who visits but once they are out the door God help us all. She turns any and everything around that we said to make it sound as if we were putting her down. Compliment anyone and she jumps you about someone else who is better, etc. It is exhausting!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions