Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Without knowing what's wrong with your mother mentally and if it IS just attention she's seeking, then find her some activity that fills in for the attention she lacks. Hire a companion for her if you can't give her as much time as she needs. And if she's just being ornery about the whole falling thing, tell her next fall and she's in a nursing home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I don't think I'd ever consider sueing my mom...it just would seem to be a waste of money and alot of hurt feelings. Does your mom use a walker? If not maybe it's time to invest in one. If your mom is how my mom was when she was needing me as her caregiver I know that it was really hard to her to have to give up her independance and that she hated having to admit that she was needing help. It is hard to know whether she's doing it on purpose or not...but I do know that when we we're considering placing our grandparents into a carehome that they would have to sell their home to have the money to cover the care which was atleast $2000. a month. Have a heart to heart with your mom and try and find out why she's falling. Life changes fast and is unpredictable. It is hard work and emotional, so don't beat yourself up. You and your children will find a way.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If Mom is falling to "get attention," maybe she needs more attention! It's a rather extreme measure to get it. Parents will tell you that children would rather be punished for being bad than ignored. Can you see if there is an Adult Day Care where you mom could go to get some socializing? There is also a condition called Münchausen Syndrome where people injure or feign illness so they can go to the doctor. Doctors and nurses are compassionate and show sympathy so it's easy to see why someone would do this.

Instead of suing your mother, who probably also has some dementia, rethink how you are interact with her. If she sits in front of a television all day and is treated as a houseplant, she may be bored or just wants SOMEONE to notice her. Check with your community for Eldercare services, as they may have a Social Worker who can come and assess her needs for you.

It is admirable to be able to take care of our parents but it is a job we must want to do! They cared for us and now it's our turn to repay them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Wow. This is a very disfunctional situation, isn't it?

I think that you can sue just about anybody for just about anything, but that doesn't mean you'd win. How could you prove that she's "doing it on purpose"?

I take it that you moved your family into your mother's home a couple of years ago, and have been her caregiver. Is that right? And now that her doctor is suggesting that she needs more care than you can provide, you are worried you will have to move out and get a job to support your family. Hmmm ...

Have you looked into what it would take to get her into a nursing home? If she has no other assets besides the house, she will probably need to apply for Medicaid. I believe in most cases she does not have to give up the house, although after she dies Medicaid may have claims on it to repay what they have spent on her care. Whatever income she has coming in each month will probably need to go toward her room and board in the nursing home, with small allowance for personal expenses. So, yes, it does look like you'd have to make other arrangements for your own living expenses, but perhaps could continue to live in her house.

It is up to you, but instead of getting a lawyer to sue Mother, I think it would be a better investment to contact an Elder Law attorney to help set things up for if/when she needs to be cared for in a skilled nursing facility.

No job is guaranteed to be forever. Companies close. New managment wants to bring n their own people. Companies merge and downsize. In the case of caregivers, clients get better and don't need continued care, or they get worse and need more care, or they decide they'd prefer a different setting. Or they die. When you took on the job of caregiving Mother, with the job benefits of you and your children having a home and support, there was always the possibility that it wouldn't last forever.

Good luck to you as you work through what is best for Mother and how to support your family.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter